no honestly...i dont condone kids sleeping w their parents regardless of sex. my SD3 has slept w BM since birth and still does and i just dont agree. she sleeps fine in her own bed when shes w us. naps, okay thats different.

i have no idea what the actual law is, but i would say whenever they enter school would be a good gauge. definitely NOT past 8, IMO.

"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin

not bc of anything sexual either...its just not doing her a damn bit of good.

ps...when i said 8, i really meant 2...i was just being liberal!

"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin

Oh ick.. No way. I dont think that is appropriate at all. She is going to start thinking that DH is HERS and hers alone. He belongs in bed w/you and when you are away, he belongs in your bed ALONE.

Here we are all about our own space, own rooms, own beds. But in other cultures whole families sleep together.

Sometimes I camp out with my sons in the livingroom. I'm amazed at 11 and 14 they still want to. When we go on vacation we share beds in the hotel room. I'm usually with my sons or BD 2, DH alone, SD in her own bed or sleeping bag, etc. And sometimes the boys lay down withe me to read BD 2 her bedtime story, after which we always listen to a few "Zen Relaxation" tunes. And MANY times we fall asleep, all FOUR of us on the full bed in BD 2's room. That's kind of comical because BS 14 is about 5'9" now, and we all are about to fall off the bed.

I guess I would say, that a married parent should be sleeping with their spouse most of the time. But occasional camp outs in the livingroom, or falling asleep after reading a story, etc are pretty cool memories for the kid.

I personally am glad my sons don't feel weird in my close proximity, and think it's because I've done something right with them to make them so comfortable snuggling occasionally at their age.

Part of it is because of BD 2 as well. I think they fell in love with me as a mom again by watching me with her.

"Om Tare Tutare Ture Mama Ayurpunye Jnana Putin Kuru Svaha"
~Sita Tara Mantra

those kind of experiences are different in my opinion.

"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin

I've had some of the same problems. SD9 has trouble sleeping by herself. Hubby used to let the skids sleep with him because neither one was used to sleeping by themselves and would scream and cry until he let them. (BM shared a bed with both girls until she got married, which by the way was last month!). Hubby just never saw what the big deal was. I put a stop to that as soon as I came in the picture. I just didn't think it was appropriate for a 4 & 7 year old. It was a long process. SDs are now 9 & 12. But because of the situation at BM's house, SD9 just isn't capable of self-soothing because she's never had to, and we only have them on the weekends. So SD9 will fuss and cry until Hubby goes and sits with her until she's sleepy. Hubby will fall asleep if his eyes shut for more than 5 seconds, so as soon as I hear the tell-tale snores I go in and wake him up. He will sometimes object because SD9 isn't asleep yet, and I just ask him how he thinks she's going to fall asleep with him snoring the ceiling down? I have yet to lose with that argument. I let them have about 20 minutes or so each night. But after that if she starts fussing I'm the one who comes, and I just tuck her back in and turn right around and leave. It has slowly gotten better. It doesn't help that we know that BM still sleeps with SD9 whenever her new husband is out of town (which is often), but there's nothing we can do about that.

I'm glad I interfered when I did. SD12 would demand "HER Daddy" at night. "HERS," not mine. She would glare at me, try to pull him away from me, and referred to his bed as "hers". Creepy if you ask me, I don't care if she was only 7. But she adjusted pretty quickly after her temper wore out. I think she discovered they joy of having her own bed in her own room far outweighed "losing" to me.

However, the skids never sleep in our bed. That is a strict boundary I enforce. I don't mind some morning cuddling when they wake up before us and pile on, I think that's a nice normal bonding moment. And "slumber parties" and travelling and camping are entirely different situations. But at home only we sleep in our bed. I still don't think Hubby understands why it's an issue, but he goes along with me because I make it an issue. Sometimes that's what it all boils down to.

I think sharing a bed with a parent just for the sake of it is not right. I mean if something happened to the child and they were sick or hurt or scared then the occasional sharing of the bed is fine. But it is NOT okay when children are sharing beds with parents just because. My SS who is almost 9 years old has his own room with his own bed and doesn't sleep with his father (this stopped when I moved in). However when he is at his mom's house (who by the way lives with her mother because she is mental and the state would only allow her to be released from the mental hospital if she went to live with her mother) so SS does not have his own bed at his moms, instead he shares a bed with her. Her reasoning is she can't afford to buy him a bed of his own, except she can buy him the toys that cost $100 a piece and the video games costin $60 a piece. It is really disturbing and drives me insane. Not to mention that even though he shares a bed with her, when he has nightmares at her house he doesn't tell her or expects any comfort from her, nope he turns to his dog.

are built when children sleep alone, in there own bed.

are built when children sleep alone, in their own bed.

are built when children sleep alone, in their own bed.

Sorry for the triple post! WTF?

My BD7 slept in her crib all night until she was 10 months old and the judge ordered overnights for her with BF. She did not sleep in her bed alone until she was almost 6 years old. BF claimed BD would wake in the middle of the night and would be scared and freaked out so he would let her sleep with him. BF has been single since BD was about 18 months old and has moved repeatedly so I am sure it took BD a long time to get used to each of new homes. His second wife figured out he was worthless too. lol Since BD took a long time (pretty much until it was time fot the next visit) to get back into the groove of our home after every visit with her BF (still does to this day but it only takes a day or so)I had not choice but to let her sleep with me. It was the only way anyone got any sleep. When she was a todler, I tried putting her in a crib in my room and she would scream until she threw up. My ex sleep in his underwear and I never thought BD should see him that way. BF thought there was nothing wrong with letting her sleep with him and still doesn't. As far as I know, she sleeps in her room at her dad's.

I am okay with co-sleeping if the kid is sick or something but they need to sleep in their own bed.

I think all kids should sleep in their own beds. Of course when children are young they need to be comforted in the middle of the night if they have a nightmare or if they are sick and mom or dad should stay for awhile until they can get back to sleep but other than that I don't think it is a good idea. Maybe I'm just old school but that is just my opinion. My parents just let us know we were there if we needed them and gave us a nighlight!