DH and I were discussing how with my work schedule and his ex-wife's inability to keep it together that I have seen him for the same amount of time in the past month as his children. Literally. I have been working out of town so we haven't even slept in the same bed except for weekends, which is when we also have them. Last weekend we had a little childless time together, which he mostly spent at the office since he is busy right now.

I don't mind that he is busy. We are in the same profession so I completely understand that he needs to get his work done. However, I do mind that when it's just the two of us, he will work until 8 or 9 pm on a Friday and Saturday and then when he comes home he is completely distracted. But when he goes to get his kids, he makes sure to leave the office at 5 on the dot and spend no more than a couple of hours at the actual office during the weekend so he can play with them the rest of the time.

I get it. I know I am the adult and therefore I should just sit back and take it. But I can't help but feel like I am getting his scraps. He should make concessions for me also. Just because I am an adult doesn't mean that I should get less of him than they do. Our marriage needs attention too. Plus I am 6 1/2 months pregnant which you would think would automatically mean that I deserve some extra love right now.

Anyhow, somehow this discussion turned into "You'll understand when you have the baby." Okay, so because I have a baby I will no longer want to spend time with my husband? Because my mom and dad had babies and they still went out on date night every Friday and I never thought they didn't love us. And did his parents treat him and his brother as though they walked on water when they were kids? Nope. This talk of course escalated into how I hope that I have higher standards for my child because his kids are literally all up in our business all.the.time when they are home. They are 10 and 11 and are completely incapable of self-entertaining. I have never met children who want to hang around adults so much. Asking them to play together for a bit while we clean/shower/breathe is like asking them to submit to torture devices. I know they are not bad children, but seriously. 24/7 of this nonsense where they cannot distinguish between an indoor vs. an outdoor voice is too much for a stressed out pregnant woman to take.

And then I get the classic response, "It's different when you're a divorced parent." Ahh I see. It's different when you are a guilty daddy. Then all their yelling and screaming and "daddydaddydaddy"-ness turns into the sound of angels singing on high! Call me crazy, but I think that all our children, his and ours, should be held to the same standard. Because there is no way I will be able to tolerate my own child disrespecting me and being in my face 24 hours a day. And because I will not tolerate it from my child should mean that no one else is allowed to act like a jack ass either. Plus we are on our way to getting custody of these kids. He says it will be different when they are with us full time but if all they know is "Daddy lets us behave like lunatics" then how does he expect it change overnight?? I am so sick of this guilty daddy bullshit. Yes, you gave them a shitty mom because you couldn't keep it in your pants. Yes, she then left you with them in tow because you should have never been together in the first place. But he is doing everything he can to be a good dad. He does not need to spoil them in the process.

His solution to this? I'm sure you will all get a kick out this. "Why don't I just take them out all day on the weekends I have them so they don't annoy you?" Yes! That's it! Take them out for movies and dinners out at restaurants and bowling! Reward them for not being able to use an indoor voice and not being able to self-entertain! That's much easier than telling them to settle down every now and then! Am I the crazy one here? Really??