Blog Hog Alert-The Letter That Was Sent to Court
After Chef's Emancipation By Conduct case was totally blown by his attorney. . . In fact I don't even know he knew what the phrase meant because he kept referring to it as "skid being financially independent" etc. He did sort of dance around the "skid refusing to see one's parent to keep from having reasonable parental rules applied" but I digress.
To the Honorable Magistrate: (abbreviations for brevity)
I wish to withdraw my petition for modification as it has become very clear to me during the court appearance of (earlier date) that the Girhippo would not cooperate and only wants CS as long as I continue to have no involvement in my children's lives, i.e. enforce my 50% joint legal custody, co-decision making regarding academics, medical, etc.
I do not want to cause any disruption by proving CEBC in my children's lives despite the fact that they have been alienated from me for almost a decade. Contrary to the Girhippo's claims, I have attempted to reunify with my children via the Podunk School District's Counseling Dept. only to be refused several times, in particular by SD19.
It is unfortunate that the Girhippo only considers "her personal stress" in this matter and not the children's needs according to her letter filed (just before the first court date) and therefore failed to show.
I sincerely doubt the veracity of the Girhippo's claim that she:
1. desires no financial support from me, unless of course, I do not try and enforce my 50% joint legal custody/visitation rights; should I enforce my rights as a parent, it would only result in the Girhippo continuing to launch unfounded CPS allegations against me as she has done in the past with the goal being parental alienation.
2. prefers that I have a restored parental relationship with my children as she has gone out of her way (and succeeded) in keeping me from parenting our children.
Therefore I am withdrawing my petition, please remove the upcoming court date from the docket, yada yada
Respectfully,
Chef
***stiiiillll waiting for that returned CS check from the Gir. . . won't hold my breath on that one.
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Comments
Thinktrice: Is there such a
Thinktrice: Is there such a thing as Emancipation by Conduct? Never heard it is. Military, marriage or job that sustains a kid. YES.
Anyway Thinktrice, I am so sorry. I am sorry for your DH, I am sorry for you and yes sorry for the kids. They are missing out on dads influence.
No doubt your dh feels totally helpless. MAD, and maybe relieved. There are so many emotions he may feel. YOU too may have a plethora of emotions that you are processing. Anger, sadness, more anger, more sadness and maybe relief.
YOUR HUSBAND is not alone Thinktrice, and your Judge and many Judges have heard this same story over and over and over in Family Court.
'prefers I have a restored relationship with my children'....hummmm the only way that will happy Think, if WHEN the kids are totally away from BM.
I am sorry, I also want to say I totally understand. PLEASE tell your dh that HE is not alone, not by a long shot.
Thanks Goodluck! Chef knows
Thanks Goodluck! Chef knows he's not alone in this. Many men get chased away from their children by the BM, then they turn into an ATM and eventually have to drop the rope as the system winks at PAS.
It is awful. You can check
It is awful.
You can check out Dr. Craig Childress. Goodness knows he has made it his mission to hold mental health responsible.
He has youtube videos that help put everything into perspective.
Google Stark Reality by De. Craig Childress. Quick read.
Thinktrice get ready to hear "BUT You cant stop, you must keep fighting''....
hang in there...
For Target parents: It is OK to be happy and it is OK to live your life. Valuable lesson learned from Dr. Childress too.
That’s why my DH was afraid
That’s why my DH was afraid to divorce BM, he knew she’d turn The kids against him and would make his life he$$. He stuck by her in a miserable marriage until they were grown. All out of fear. What a shame what these women do to their own kids
The dirty little secret is
The dirty little secret is usually the BM is already turning the kids against the father during the marriage. It was definitely the case with Chef although SD19 was a daddy's girl before the Girhippo clan's campaign of PAS
Yes she did that while they
Yes she did that while they were married too
In NYS, if an 18 - 20 year
In NYS, if an 18 - 20 year old child leaves the parental residence for no good reason (like “I didn’t want to have to wash my own dishes”) and ends their relationship with both parents, the parent can request the court to declare the child emancipated. So maybe type of situation is emancipation by conduct?
Doing research, it is almost
Doing research, it is almost impossible to attain this due to all the "bonus" funding the local CS collection units receive from the feds--an incentive to keep CS awards as high as possible.
The courts are aware of this therefore getting emancipation other than what is strictly outlined is like raising the Titanic.
We have scads of documentation of SD19 belittling and mocking Chef on social media as "deadbeat dad" etc. All three of skids were always told by the Girhippo that Chef paid nothing and ran away from the family.
"Chef grabbed him up and took
"Chef grabbed him up and took him home and told his 8 year old the he was not welcome back until he could behave and follow "thier" rules"
with this I fully agree, then I'm like chef, my house my rules, if you do not like it no need to come to my house
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WHAT? So you would never see your child (8 YEARS OLD) again because he was not following the rules or had not learned all of the rules yet?
So you son was born perfect since you would have gave him up for adoption if he ever broke a rule? Really?
Willow - we might see this
Willow - we might see this differently,
I've not been around that long, you ladies have been here longer thus I do not know the story...
but I'm sure this was not the first dinner the kid had with his father and SM, I'm sure they've told him before to behave, to sit up straight or what ever the issue was, 8 years old is old enough to get rules and obey them, I've been this harsh with my kid at a way younger age.... I still have that saying in my house, I don't care if you pay rent, it's still my house and my rules and if you don't like it then move out, don't bother coming back...
I see what Chef did, and I also feel that yes kiddo ran to his mummy and his mummy said, well no need for you to go over, she used this to get the kids away from Chef, instead of teaching her kid some manners and how to behave , instead of telling her kid, well Dad is right, no stop being a brat go and apologize to TT and Dad and behave when you are there... I would not blame Chef cause the kid never came around again, I think BM carries more blame here cause she abused the incident instead of teaching....
Then who says, Chef did not try to see his son again, who says Chef did not try for years but BM won each and every time....
we keep on forgetting posters do not post the whole truth, posters do not tell all in detail, no there's somethings you rather keep to yourself,
You will never know if this 8 year old... grabbed a knife and tried to stab TT, cause she never told the whole story and she never will
I'm simply saying before we judge and accuse people, we need to think for a minute about it, why the attack and bad mouthing all the time, isn't step hell hard enough without that?
Totally agree with you. I did
Totally agree with you.
I did the same to my son - if you can't be respectful, you're not welcome here... off to his dad's.
In my case, however, lesson WAS learned... kid came back, apologize, no issues since etc.... but dad was on board, not trying to keep son away from me to begin with.
EXACTLY!
EXACTLY!
I did not bad mouth TT here.
I did not bad mouth TT here. I did bad mouth Chef and do not apologize for it. He is a terrible man and has been a terrible partner to TT. ABUSIVE. Like really abusive.
And this below was copied and pasted from a post of hers a few years back. It has always stuck with me and I remember the exact blog it was on. Lol. I have a pretty healthy memory of people I don’t like. And I do not like this man. TT deserves better. Always has. The kids also deserved better.
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A few highly-staged attempts were made by the BM to get back her ad hoc non-parental status babysitting services re-established by tugging at Chef's guilty heartstrings.
It took a few years for them to give up after trying to convince Chef to revisit the status quo
Well Chef is an A$$, no
Well Chef is an A$$, no doubt. But so is BM. They are both terrible parents, but I would not call him deadbear, he does pay CS. He just doesn’t want to pay it to adult kids, which is understandable