No reason to loose sleep, make an airtight will to pass on your stuff to your children :)  

so for me, Dh gets it all, without any restrictions. He deserves it, hes worked hard all his life.

We married late in life and have kept our premarriage assets separated. Those go to bios.

Our joint assets pass to the surviving spouse and then are divided 50% to my two bios and 50% to YSD. 

DH was the one who decided not to leave anything to his oldest. OSD is mentioned in our wills with phrasing that the lawyers have said will prevent her from challenging it. 

I don't have that issue, but if I had the Girhippo's spawn as my skids, I'd put everything that you want your SO to have in a trust, with him getting enough from the trust to meet his needs during his lifetime, and then it'd go elsewhere. I would not give him the ability to direct anything to skids.  A decent lawyer should be able to draw up documents to accomplish that.  Maybe Awesome Son could be the trustee!

This is a big concern.

I know for a fact that the only reason Satan still makes an effort to see Killjoy is she is hoping she can steal Killjoy's inheritance from us or someone in DH's family.

MIL/FIL established some kind of trust for her and DH is the trustee until she's 30ish, I think?  It will be a sizable amount of money.

I had a ton of equity in my home before DH came along and the deed is entirely in my name.  Part of it may be marital property because we've lived in it together while we were married, but I think it would be difficult to determine how much.

I don't have a will yet, mostly because I don't know how to resolve it.  I don't want Killjoy/Satan to get a dime of my money.  Even though I am a couple years older than DH, I will outlive him barring any accidents.  I am a decade older than Satan and will most likely outlive her also.

In Illinois, the intestate laws are as follows: Deceased person is survived by spouse and descendants: the spouse receives half the property and the children split the remaining half. Deceased person is survived by spouse and no descendants: the spouse receives the entire probate property.

My youngest only has me, but my two older children have a millionaire father, and I don't know if he will disown one or both of them.  He is diagnosed NPD/HPD/OCPD, so he is constantly getting drunk and issuing crazy ultimatums.  He has destroyed his health, so hopefully he won't torture them much longer.  Maybe then I can decide what to do.  I really hope they do get his money because it would be the only good thing to redeem that nightmare of a relationship.

DH doesn't know it, but I took him off my life insurance.  My youngest is the beneficiary.

I don't think it's fair to give unequal portions because some bios are more successful than others.  DH's sister is a dipsh!t arsehole and works menial jobs as a result, whereas DH worked his arse off and became very successful.  DH is slated to get 35% to SIL's 65%.

The answer depends on what you want to happen to your estate when you pass.  Do you have bios or other family members that you would want to inherit what you have worked for?  

It also depends on the form of your estate too.. is it basically going to just be a house with some misc checking account dollars.?  What about life insurance?  or is it significant investments?

If the amount of your personal estate is significant, you could consider putting it in trust for the benefit of your DH if you were to die before him... and list beneficiaries who would get the assets once he has passed (if you pass first).. or after you pass if you pass 2nd. 

I think most of us would want our spouses to have the benefit of what we have worked for to help them in their later years if they need it.. they may endure health issues or other financial issues. and for that reason allowing them to have access for their needs is reasonable.  But what is left of that?... ideally many people might not want their spouse making the decision to leave it to his children.

So, a trust could be set up that would hold your assets.. and you can do that now... while you are alive it can be revocable.. but after your death it would be non-revokable.  your DH could only make draws under whatever terms you have set out in the agreement.

but of course get legal help for setting anything like this up.

As of now SD and I split his life insurance half and half until she's 18, so really it's BM and I splitting. If DH does before SD turns 18 BM would likely come for the whole sum. Now sure how that would work out. I get everything else.

After she's 18 she's off his life insurance(he better follow through). As soon as he's allowed she's out of the will, I get everything else.

I do think that once SD has kids my DH may soften up and put her back in the will. We'll see though.

I don't have any kids, so - whatever DH does with our money after I die is his business.

Alllll those b*tches can TRIANGULATE AWAY to their little victim-hearts content.

Bye, b*tches! 2021 Holidays = Drama-Free!!

My mom and SF have talked about this a lot recently. They have combined their finances and minimal wealth they have, and they plan on splitting it up amongst all five kid families evenly, but have made a caveat for SSis.

Let's say they have $50,000 to leave when the last one dies. Each kid family gets $10k. SSis, though, will directly get $2k while each of her kids gets $2k each. They don't want SSis to not get anything and be able to go to court to argue for more, but they also don't think she deserves the full amount. They don't want us dealing with her, which I appreciate.

Granted, SSis alienated herself, so not quite the same as being PASed. But my parents' overall goal is to prevent her from being a b**ch to those of us who have to put up with her. I've advised that they talk to an attorney to set up a will of who is allowed in their home after they die and who can dole out sentimental and valuable items, and how any property or items sold would be divided. I would not put it past SSis to squat, steal, and sell everything before court would even add the case to their docket. And since she doesn't have a lot to piss in, even if she were told to pay us back, she'd never be able to.

That will be the crap part about them dying - while grieving, one of us will have to be at their house with a locksmith re-keying the house so folks (mostly SSis and a few of my SF's family members) can't get in.

This reminds me that I really need to get my will updated.  

Currently the way we have things arranged is that when one of us dies, the other inherits everything for use in their lifetime except for a lump sum payment to the first person's nominees.  Example:  if I die first, DH gets everything except 3 lump sums that go to nieces and god child.  If he goes first, same except it goes to the SSs.  Then on the death of the second person the estate is split between my nieces and his kids equally plus a lump sum to my god child (if I'm the second one to go). 

Personal belongs are split based on an addendum to the will but I haven't done much here and really need to get on and do it. My stuff will go to neices and god child.

Trustees are my sensible sister, god child's mother and one other friend of mine.