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I am about ready to call it quits

Thiskidwilldrivemecrazy's picture

Things between my boyfriend and I have been strained since the incident last week when his 12 yr old son told me (3x) that he was not going to cut the grass and my boyfriend got into a huge fight with me over it.

Then, after his BM decided not to get him and I couldn't keep this child (cause I already had plans) while his dad worked, I am made out to be the bad guy.

So, this morning, my boyfriend decides to be a smart ass. (He frequently THINKS he is making a point of comparing 'apples to apples' when he's really comparing 'apples to oranges' so all he succeeds in doing is irritate me and make himself look like a fool.) Let me give you a little background first. When I get up early in the morning and there are still others sleeping, I try to be quiet out of respect for the others that are still sleeping. My 12SS often oversleeps and if his dad is home, his dad will go in there and YELL at him to get up. Sometimes an argument ensues between them. Mind you, my 17 yr old daughter is still trying to sleep because she doesn't have to leave so early for school. Numerous times I have nicely asked them to please keep it down because there are other people trying to sleep. (My asking makes ME at fault.) So, this morning, I needed to give my 2 dogs their medicine so I yelled out the front door for them to come. Keep in mind, my voice is projecting OUT the FRONT DOOR (not towards the back and side of the house) AND I am a good 40 ft away from my daughter's room. My boyfriend and his son are sitting at the table and boyfriend tells his son, "don't scoot your chair up so loudly to the table...you might wake up 'stepsister'". Not being one to walk on eggshells, I spoke up and asked him why he always had to be such a smartass. Of course, then he starts running his mouth. I ignored him, asked him if he wanted a kiss before I left and then I just left.

He is still blaming me cause I'm not able to watch his son this weekend while he works. Then he leaves me a lengthy voice mail about how I am the problem with him and his son. Then he texts me and says that if I "don't start not shit there wont be any shit". I am so fed up with all of this crap I am about ready to call it quits. Last week after we set his son down and talked to him about his crappy attitude my boyfriend told me I was probably the best thing for the kid. Today, I am the problem. I think the real problem is that NOBODY can correct his kid yet HE doesn't want to do it either! I am about at my wits end! I am really so stressed today that I have been about to fight back tears several times.

Comments

Thiskidwilldrivemecrazy's picture

It's MY house. Crazy thing...if I would have been living with him in his house, I think I would have been gone by now. On the flip side, there are probably ALOT of things that I would have let go if we were in his house because I tend to follow the old adage 'when in Rome do as the Romans do'. In my house, I ask that you take your shoes off when you come in. They've lived here for 3 years and SS will still come in with his cleats on. Boyfriend gripes about my rules...but, they haven't changed in 3 years and he knew what they were when he moved in! I think he thinks he's going to eventually break me and I'll give in. Yeah, well, he is going to eventually break me and he'll be out the door!

HadEnoughx5's picture

I've been there and still have those moments after 7 years of being together. Have you read "Stepmonster" by Dr. Wednesday Martin? It's a really great book, that will ease your mind and give you some validation of what is happening.

DH is angry, but he needs to give that anger to BM, not you. Not your child, not your problem. Don't allow him to guilt you into anything.

My Dh will set standards for my kids differently than for his kids. I set the standard across the board, no favoritism. We are in the midst of a struggle over here too. Dh has a problem with getting the skids to clean their rooms and mow the lawn, but expects those things from my kids.

So, to be fair my "Inner Bitch" has come out to everyone, and I am getting results.

Hang in there and read the book!

Thiskidwilldrivemecrazy's picture

Thank you so much for the suggestion! After hearing so many people on here suggest 'Divorce Poison', I ordered it from the library yesterday. My ex and I get along just fine but my boyfriend and his ex can't even talk to each other without an argument. I'm always willing to read up on something if it will help even just a little bit.