What do you think about this?
I know everyone has their quirks and can be a bi-atch from time to time but I don't think I am being unreasonable with the following expectations from SS that is 2 months away from being 13. Boyfriend gets bent out of shape ANY TIME I remind his son about the following things. So, please, tell me, I am just being a bitch for expecting the following (he has been in my house for 3 years now and none of these rules have changed but I still have to remind him CONSTANTLY then an argument with boyfriend normally follows).
- if you spit mucus in the sink, WASH IT DOWN YOURSELF! (AND your toothpaste for that matter!)
- if you leave PEE on the floor when you go to the bathroom, CLEAN IT UP
- take your shoes off on the carpet (it's ONLY in the bedrooms)
- come in or go out...don't leave the door open as we don't need any more flies and bugs in the house (not to mention letting in HOT air while the A/C runs)
- turn OFF the water WHILE you are brushing your teeth...no need to be wasteful!
- don't pick at your feet while you are eating dinner
Boyfriend complains that I think I can just say whatever I want, whenever I want. My response is, well if you don't teach him proper manners and etiquette...who will??? Besides, yes, it IS my house and if I don't want shoes on my carpet that's MY CHOICE...it is MY HOUSE!!!
Do you consider my expectations normal human behavior or am I being fanatical?
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Um, no you're not
Um, no you're not unreasonable or being bitchy... and I would hope that he'd be taught this stuff no matter WHAT house he's in.
You're exactly right that you're asking him to act like a normal human being
(kids really can be gross, can't they?)
I have to tell my 13y/o daughter to take a shower about 5 out of 7 nights a week... she's 13 and a HALF why do I have to TELL her to take a shower?
Oh, this is not a son that
Oh, this is not a son that VISITS EOW, he lives with us and visits HIS mother EOW.
No, I am not sure I want to continue this relationship. I told him that I think we would all be happier if he lived in his own house (he rents his house which is an hour away) and he could raise his son however he saw fit with no one else to make any comments to his son about his behavior.
You are so not being either
You are so not being either and are actually doing him a huge service that will benefit him in the long run. I have the sames issues with my soon to be 13 SD. The world will not cater to these kids the way their guilt-ridden dads do. I actually expect more out of my BD2 than he does out of SD13.
I'm with the others...you
I'm with the others...you aren't being bitchy at all. Your DH is though...
Fanatical? Hell no. You are
Fanatical? Hell no.
You are trying to raise a kid who doesn;t act like he lives in a barn.
Your BF has obviously read from the same chapter that all the other SOs and DHs have read from. He has read that it is OK to make you sound like a loon...when in actuality you are the only one who seems to be setting the boundaries.
ST is wild on fire with SMs stating that expect the steps to do regular things and at appropriate ages and that the daddys always have a negative reaction to it.
Too bad. Those bathroom and house habits are rules in just about every household I can think of.
And you are 100%...YOUR HOUSE...YOUR RULES!
All daddys make comments about ebing to hard on their little, precious gems...I tell my DH to get over it!
My motto is, if your feet are
My motto is, if your feet are under my table, you follow my rules. And to think you didn't even mention any chores.... he should certainly have chores at his age.
Bet his father would blow a gasket about that... lol
One of his chores is that he
One of his chores is that he feed the dogs. (When his dad gets pissy, he bitches because they are MY dogs. My feeling is, SO WHAT? I also CAN the food we eat and do A LOT of things that are not person specific (AND I work full time.)
One of his other responsibilities is that he wash his dishes when he is done eating. Just this summer his dad has made it his responsibility to cut grass. Mind you, we live in the country so we have A LOT to cut so he actually does very little of it. My main concern is that he keep the small section in the front cut. His dad doesn't mind if he goes to the neighbor's to play and 'gets to the grass later'. My motto is to get your chores done first and then play (but his dad and I butt heads ALL the time over his son anyway).
Ok, I agree that your
Ok, I agree that your requests are not out of bounds... BUT let me ask you how long you and BF have been together/how long have you known SS? The reason I ask is this:
My mother married my step dad when I was around 10. He was very strict compared to my mother about things like turning the water off while brushing, no elbows on the table, don't stand with the fridge door open for more than 2 seconds, not doing this, not doing that, doing this, doing that.... it was alot to be bombarded with at that age. I can now say that I am GLAD that he taught me good manners/etiquette but his approach was often rather brash and offensive to me especially since I basically just met the guy.
They moved in with me when
They moved in with me when the boy was 9 (3 years ago). The rules did not seem to be such a big deal in the beginning (for him). It just seems that lately, he has become more defiant and is determined to do what HE wants to do regardless of what I say.