i figured it all out~
i am convinced the biggest reason us stepparents get bad wraps are because the bio parents WE married generally dump a great deal of the child-rearing on us (especially us stepMOMs). how could we NOT get blamed when crap goes down, or when these "little angels" go off. We are getting the blame because we are trying to slide in and act like what we think a parent should be. then the bio parent gets lazy and hands most of the responsibility to us...anyone hear me on this??
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I can agree with this, but I
I can agree with this, but I don't think it's just limited to those who take over the majority of the child-rearing. Before when BM really really disliked me, I was the blame for their kids 'problems', not because I took on the majority of the caretaking, b/c BF handles that, but because I was simply present in their life and I think it seeped into BF's thought process too that 'our' relationship was the reason they had 'issues'. When in fact it was due to BM speaking so negatively about me and my relationship with BF to the skids constantly. Thankfully that has ended.
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“The challenge is to help couples turn "I Do" into "We Can."
crystal you are a
crystal you are a genius;)thank you so much. thought i was going to go CrAzY
middlemom: i feel your pain
middlemom: i feel your pain on that situation as well. thanks God bm is out of the picture for us now...
i agree 100000%. bf and his
i agree 100000%.
bf and his mother basically decided that i was to mother sd (then 6) because BM was a deadbeat (still is). bf is a lazy parent who likes to use the following lines on me:
"you guys are girls and im a boy, so idk about any of that stuff"
"awe, stepmommy and stepdaughter."
"you 2 need some mommy daughter time"
"she needs a mother."
none of this works on me anymore. since sd's return in june from a yr with bm, bf has done it all cause i simply dont want to and sd11 doesnt want me to.
Yeah, I agree as well. I
Yeah, I agree as well. I think some - not all - BMs are just looking for a someone to blame their "bad" action/reactions on - instead of taking responsibility for their own actions.
BM speaks......Hey - I am rude to child's father and SM and family just cause i am mad or jealous he moved on. AND it is easy to lie on and blame SM for all of it... so i can play the victim and still act stupid and crazy rather then be mature.......
LOL! Of course they would never admit it - BUT oh well.
********She doesn't have to love me or even like me - it doesn't change a dang thing..... So get over it and move on BM!************
I am accused of HATING my
I am accused of HATING my SD...why you ask...because I actually expect her to follow the rules of my house lmao. She has found a way to blame everything, bad grades, her not having friends, being sad, etc on this...and sadly her BIO parents support this theory or hers because neither one of them has bothered to PROPERLY raise this child...just giving her everything she's ever wished for...HA...what a crock! I told her to remember this conversation because I'm telling you right now one day you'll understand but when it really comes down to it..I love you more than EITHER of your parents because I cared enough to try and give you a foundation of structure for life. Only time will tell...
u r so right!u r doing the
u r so right!u r doing the right things just like me! I don't know why the bio parents never see it!or do they just not want to be "the bad guy" also sick of this!LOL!