SM’s that have had babies?
Any SM's out there that have had a baby and struggle with their feelings about SKids interacting with baby? DH and I had DS a few months ago and I'm a FTM. I don't exactly care for my SD11 and I hate when she's around DS or interacting with him. She likes to enjoy being around him when other people are around and pretend like she's the greatest big sister ever but then couldn't care less about him when it's just us around. It drives me absolutely crazy because it's just another thing where she has to act like a mini-wife. Every time she acts like that I just want to scream. Has anybody else felt this way? Or is it just me?
- TooTired's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
Spawn was the same way with
Spawn was the same way with BD, I let my DH know BD was not Spawns dolly or play thing. I was a SAHM at the time so it made it difficult for Spawn to do much with her since I was always there. When we got custody of Spawn I never allowed her to be around my children alone because she likes to accuse men of sexual abuse and I wasn't putting my kids into her messed up equation.
My SD puts on a show like
My SD puts on a show like yours. I'm not worried about the baby because my DH would never leave her alone with her. He's super protective.
Our shared toddler has 5 big
Our shared toddler has 5 big sisters...DD12,15,17 and SD12 and 17....I am very thankful that I have no issues here or I would lose my mind.
everything surrounding the baby has been smooth and easy.
skids do not over step....ever. It's actually shocking to me but I'll take it.
Lucky! LOL!
Lucky! LOL!
Yep, same experience with my
Yep, same experience with my SD. My YDS is almost 6 and she is still using him as her attention grab. Drives me crazy. DH and I both talked to her about her behavior with him, told her to stop acting like he was her puppet, etc. That didn't last and DH basically pussy foots around SD so I'm steal dealing with it.
My SD is exactly like that.
My SD is exactly like that. Hams it up to look like she's the best sister ever, then when it's just us she couldn't give 2 shits. I've even caught her flipping him off and giving him dirty looks. She just plays the loving sister act to get attention from other people.
And on the rare occasion she does interact with him to get DH's adoration, she goes wayyyy over the top, and then soon gets bored of playing with him and just sits playing with his toys. Bearing in mind my son isn't even 2 yet, and yet she, at 8 years old plays with (and sometimes can't figure out) his toys. WTF.
I've never allowed her to be in my son's presence without me there. I can't trust her after what I've caught her doing in the past, and the real attitude she has towards him while pulling the wool over everyone else's eyes. I'm pregnant again and she was bad enough with my son, especially jealousy-wise. God knows how bad she'll be if this one's a girl.
Same, SD acts like she's so
Same, SD acts like she's so loving and caring but I won't leave her alone or trust her with my YDS or ODS because of her lies. Also, her jealousy is/was over the top. Just the other day she was facetiming a friend at my house and I came out of the bathroom and there she is in the hall showing her friend pictures I have hung up. She zeros in on one of her, ODS and YDS when he was first born. We had bought SD and ODS new t-shirts that said, "proud to be a big sis/bro" and YDS had on a onesie that said "lil bro". In the picture she is beaming and gladly showing off her new shirt but she tells her friend "yeah, I didn't really like this shirt at first b/c I was so upset about having a sibling but I like him now"....funny you pretended to dote on him and love him and basically smothered him when he was born.
My ss to the max. He was 17.5 when our daughter was born
And almost 19 when my son was born. He told his dad he was incapable of any affection to our kids (his half siblings) and that his dad should not force a relationship with him yet he wanted and still does live in our marital home rent free.. that was ss response to hubby telling him off to stop shunning us and pretend we are invisible and don’t exist.
Because he never once cared to sit with our daughter and hold her for a bit or just talk/play with her. Its like he’ll die just being told to be around our kids.
suddenly in laws rock up and ss would do the most awkward touch or steoke on my daughters hand. As a 5-7 month old baby, she had a “wtf” look on her face. All of ss first cousins grill him at the ridiculousness of him shunning us because to them we are all family but ss treats our kids as strangers, he even called me a stranger as justification for shunning me and our kids and i’d been married to hubby 5 yrs at that point.
my niece and nephews would ask ss have you actually held your sis and spent time her and he would instantly answer “yes yes yes” like he does it all the time. I instantly replied with only once and that was because hubby made him.
The look of shock on ss face being caught out. His cousins just roll their eyes at him.
The thing is as heartbreaking for me that my 3 skids treat us that way, when you see how they are together, you aren’t surprised how effed up their relationship is so its no surprise
my sd’s bought over the top pressies and would be no contact for months. It was just a game to look good in hubbys eyes. I told hubby after a few months what our kids need are not presents from their sisters who don’t give a shit because it sends mixed signals... what our kids needare role models and elder siblings to help guide them. If they can’t do it, then so be it but its so pathetic them buying presents and milk our kids that way
I don't have bio children of
I don't have bio children of my own yet but we do plan to have them. I have already made the conscious decision to keep my kid(s) away from skids. Although, the situation is tough because my fiancé has custody of his kids so they will always be there. They already protest going to their mom's house as it is since my fiance/their dad gives them anything and everything they want. My clock is ticking but I'm really concerned how to navigate a blended family with his children.
Omg I can't imagine having SD
Omg I can't imagine having SD all the time. But maybe things would be different. How long have you and your fiancé been together? Do you approve of the way he parents his children? Do you think you would be able to agree on how to parent your kids together?
My SD 8, was like that at
My SD 8, was like that at first with our daughter. She acted interested in her for show then didn't have any interest around just us. But now that our daughter is almost a year she is showing a lot more interest in her. She'll play with her and entertain her and seems genuinely excited to see her. However, I'm not comfortable with her alone with the baby because she's just not aware of things. Like she'll watch the baby put something in her mouth, or ready to fall and kind of just sit back and watch. My niece, who is 9, I can trust to keep an eye on my baby while I go to the restroom, switch laundry, short times like that where I could NEVER with my step.
I personally hope that she
I personally hope that she keeps her disinterest in DS. I'm hoping the almost 11 year age gap keeps them from being too close so that her bratty behavior doesn't have a chance to rub off on him
Least yours are also
Least yours are also different genders. I worry about SDs bad influence on my daughter as well but hoping the 7 yr age gap will not leave much room for bad influence
I'm very thankful for that
I'm very thankful for that because I can only imagine how bad it would have been if we had a girl
I don't let ss interact with
I don't let ss interact with my two- 2 and 4 after he was aggressive once with my then 6-month-old. I'm always there always watching now. He doesn't seem that interested anymore anyway. He's long distance so here's hoping they never get close. He's being raised like he's the center of the universe at BMs and that doesn't fly here.