Confused and Hurt
Well this is what is going on,after three years of marriage his fifteen year old daughter just out of the blue tells here dad that she liked me and loved me but she wished we never got married and then tonight his son ask if him and his mom can get back together,my husband responded to his son by saying(sorry buddy but that is not going to happen) the son then replied (ok) then let his dad go..
I do not understand where this is all coming from but if I had to guess I would say their lovely mother.My husband,myself and his oldest daughter has a councilg appointment this Saturday where we are going to discuss all this. If the kids are feeling this out of the blue we will deal with it but if their mom had something to do with this how do I handle it? She has tried other stuff to cause trouble between my husband and I and as of yet I have smiled all the way but this is pushing it a little to far..How do I handle this,if it is what I am thinking?
Please,,,someone help..I am really scared that my husband just may put his kids first and give them what they want (he really loves his kids) I am already trying to push him a way cause the hurt now feels terrible if he should leave I know this means he was never mine but how do I handle t his wher do I go from here???
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There is no doubt that this
There is no doubt that this came from BM and that she is attempting to play your DH through the kids.
For that reason I would play it right back at her and say "How would you kids feel if your BM said that she loved you but she wished that you were never born".
Okay, of course I am being snarky and don't recommend that you say this. However, I would sit your DH down and ask him pointedly how he intends to respond to BM's manipulations through the kids and give him clarity that you expect him to address it with both of the children and with their mother in clear, direct and no uncertain terms.
Good luck and best regards,
The weirdest thing is the
The weirdest thing is the middle daughter has not said anything one way or the other..this I just do not get...
OH if things turn out the way I think they are me,my husband and his exwife is going to sit and have a long conversation,that is lonnng over do...I am tired of her bullsh*t,I am just over it..Have any of you had to put up with the exwifes family? And if so how do you handle this?
Oh yes. Many of us have had
Oh yes. Many of us have had to put up with our spouse's XILs. My wife was never married to my SS-18's SpermIdiot but SpermGrandMa is our most dramatic cross to bear. SpermIdiot is a worthless POS who for the most part stays under his rock but his mother is a vitriolic hag from hell who tries to manipulate any one and everyone she can. Her biggest tools for manipulation are her idiot son's Spawn.
My SS-18 is the oldest of his four out-of-wedlock spawn by three different baby mamas and an only child in our home.
SpermGrandMa has attempted to manipulate us with our son by attempting to keep him longer than the SpermIdiots CO'd visitation, infecting our son with her vitriolic crap, making him feel guilty for the CS that she and SpermGrandPa pay for my SS (SpermIdiot won't pay it) and how the CS takes food out of the younger 3 spawn's mouths, filing custody actions in the SpermIdiot's name without his knowledge, harrassing my son for his nice clothes watch I-Pod etc.... because "you don't need that expensive stuff and it is not fair that you sister and brothers don't have those nice things", etc, etc, etc..........
We deal with it by keeping them all nearly constantly in court as soon as they open their idiot mouths. We keep the CO close at hand as well as the supplemental rules for the county of jurisdiction where my SS's CO is held and beat the shit out of them with it whenever they give us a reason. We do not ever deviate from the CO, when SpermGrandMa has tried to keep or son past the end of COd visitation we have marched in to restaurants where she was eating with her extended family, church members, ministers, etc and taken our son back.
When she or any of the SpermClan get stupid we bare their idiot asses loudly and as publicly as possible. It took a few years but they did finally learn to do what we told them to do when we told them to do it.
Your DHs XILs will learn also if you beat the snot out of them with the CO and bare their idiot asses every time they give you the chance.
Learn to enjoy it, I certainly do.
Best regards,
I've got it a lot easier than
I've got it a lot easier than you, I think.
SD15 will occasionally say things about her parents getting back together. But she was old enough to remember hiding in her room while they screamed at each other, and she remembers how scary it was. It's also been 4 and almost 5 years since both her parents remarried, so she's seen both "new" couples in action.
Every time she pulls that nonsense out of thin air, I lead her to the correct conclusion: "Isn't your mom a lot happier now than when she was with your dad? You know your dad is happier now too - isn't it better to have happy parents than miserable ones?"
We don't tell her that BM is a bitch, or lay blame for the breakup - SD15 is pretty darn sharp at reading people for a 15-yr-old, and she knows how her mother is. She knows enough by now to take a step back and evaluate her mom's statements for facts. I certainly hope she's doing the same with ours; that'll tell her more than anything how we measure up against BM.
I guess I am just plain
I guess I am just plain stupid cause I still do not get this crap,when it has been almost 5 years we have been together and three years married...It feels like as soon as one thing is almost over with I do not even get time to breathe before the next bomb hits...I love all three of my stepkids and would die for each one of them,little do any of them know my husband and his three kids is my life..I have had to deal with his exwifes mother screaming in my face cause she said I had no reason to go into the room at the hospital to see my husbands son that it was just meant for his parents..I smiled poilitely cause his middle child was in the room,told her she had no right at all to say anything to me,and got my stuff from the waiting room and walked away..this is just one of the things that have came up.It seems to me five years is more then enough time to let something go and considering I had nothing to do with him and her breaking up I am sure as h*ll getting the blaim.. Like I said Saturday when we go to counciling id it is her feeling this way we will deal but if it her mother putting this sh*t into her head I am seriously thinking about getting her for slander or mentally messing with her daughters head.it is real sad when someone uses their kids that way.I only pray I could ever have a kid,at times I really wonder if this is all worth it? I love them all but it seems I am the only one getting hurt....