My stomach is in knots right now. I did post a blog about this a while back, so this is Part 2. 

In a nutshell- DH and I are going on vacation Aug. 26th-Sept 9. 2 weeks, and since we have week-on/week-off custody, we will be gone for 1 of our weeks. We thought we had to offer skids to Crazy per the CO (it states during the school year we do), but turns out....the school year starts SEPT 1ST (we thought it was Aug 24th). So we didn't even have to offer them to her!!! Gah! DH also offered to switch weeks with her rather than just say she can have them the week we will be gone, which is where this all goes downhill. DH feels this need to be equal in time, which is why he did it, even though the CO says nothing about making up the time of ROFR. DH tried to argue with me about this point and kept saying "She could take me back for more CS" and it says in the CO that we need to try to make up time, at which point I whipped out the CO and read him the ROFR clause and how it says none of that. I proved him wrong and he didn't have much to say then. Also, DH works 3rd shift and isn't around half the time, and yes skids are in their room mostly, but I'm still the one here with them! 

Anyway, a few weeks after he offered them to her, we realized that her taking them on our week meant she would have them for 3 WEEKS in a row (we really misread the calendar). Honestly, that is terrifying. She has kicked them out and we get texts from SS about him wanting to leave there- God knows what would happen. And maybe worse, it means we would have them for 3 wks right after we get back from our vacation! DH and I discussed it a few times and I told him that was a concern- he was so sure Crazy wouldn't want to not see "her babies" for 3wks that there was no way she would agree to it. He also sent her a prefered switch, which has us keeping the kids this week through next Thursday, the 25th, and then basically going to back to the normal schedule when we get back. She basically said no to that. He said, you aren't going to see the kids for 3 weeks then? She didn't respond. 

Today I ask SD what the deal is, because at this point I'm pissed- We don't need her to take them, and this is becoming super complicated. SD said "We're staying with mom 3 weeks and then you 3 weeks". ARE YOU KIDDING ME???? Honestly, keeping them 3 weeks seems impossible. I often struggle with 1 week. DH was running an errand and when he walked in he said something about "always wanting to please me", and I said, keep that in mind when I tell you this. I told him Crazy wants to keep them 3 weeks and us keep them 3 weeks. He's like, well *shrug*, I guess it is what it is.....I said, No, this is Crazy. This can not be what it is. 3 weeks with her??? And then 3 weeks here?? He's like, well what do you want me to do? I already offered them to her and school starts that week. I said, I want you to message her again and tell her that you think us keeping them until next Thursday is the best option, then resuming the regular schedule. So he did. She responded "No. They will be with me for 3wks, and with you for 3wks. I have already rearranged my schedule for this and am not changing it. I do you favors and watch the kids all the time when you go on vacation and All I asked of you was for us to change the days we switched the kids from Monday to Sunday for their own good, and you couldn't even do that, so, No". I told DH I was ready to jump through the phone and throttle her. He responded to her and said that she is not doing him any favors, he doesn't have to offer the kids to her (well, he does during the school year), and his family would take them any time.  

But ya'll. I am pissed, and sick to my stomach. First, because DH just went rogue and offered to switch in the first place (against my advice and feelings) and now they are with us for 3 weeks AND with that psycho for 3 weeks. I Have been SO excited for our trip, and now I am dreading this part. There is really no getting out of it- We can't just ignore ROFR and send skids to DH's parents, because she is not sane. She would 100% call the cops, and DH's parents would be left dealing with that. Even if we technically didn't have to offer them to her this time, DH will not back out of this now that it's set and change it so they go to his parents when we're gone. 

DH said he may be on 1st shift by then, so I might not be home alone with them during that time. I told DH that I care about the kids and it's not them that is the issue- it's that things are harder between us when they are here, there's always more stress, and we go from 2 weeks of vacay to 3 weeks of a more stressful situation. I said, there's a reason the divorce rate for blended families is like 70%! He agreed, but he thinks I was "very adamant" in not wanting them here... I said, yes, but i'm also adamant about not wanting them with Crazy for 3wks, and that's for their own good. I care about skids but I care about us too. I'm like, we're a team, but my feelings were not even considered in this decision, it was you doing what you wanted. This needs to be a decision made together about if we switch and how it will be done.   

So the moral of the story is, we will have skids for 3 f*cking weeks and I just want to cry. The end.