So over this kid
So last I wrote, SD15 aka Demon was refusing to go to school, but Seeing as how she had no other options, She has been going, and has actually been doing fairly well. She is the Manager of the volleyball team, but still seems to have minimal friends, as tends to happen when you act like she does. She has been working a bit and going to therapy, so that's something.
Still, Demon doesn't want to be in school and has not let the online school thing go, and I assume she has been begging Crazy to let her do it since This wknd Crazy sent DH 3 separate messages telling him SD "needs" to be in online school because of issues with teachers and parents. The issues with teachers is that Demon says "all the teachers at her school suck". So, obviously that must be true and she should do online schooling. Crazy wrote again later and said SD was accepted into online schooling and "all SD needs is for someone to make sure she's online for her classes". And she's even willing to let SD go to her house on our days to do it. She works from home 3 days a week. So what about the other 2 days? SD wants to sleep and is not motivated, I am the only person who WFH every day and I am NOT DOING IT. It is unreal that she is trying to force this to happen, knowing that I would be stuck with Demon and some of this responsibility whether I want it or not. DH told her "absolutely not- I do not consent to online schooling".
Crazy said, it looks like we may need to get the courts involved. Sure does! All because you will not tell your child no and you cannot see any of her manipulation - "all the teachers suck"?? They have been bending over backwards to accommodate Demon, and even immediately moved her to a different (better) class when she was in one with some boys she has had past issues with. Demon has even told a friend of ours that she wants to do online schooling so she can sleep.
I am beyond livid with this nonsense and the fact that it's still even a discussion. I highly doubt this will go to court or that I can be forced to do anything, but SD not accepting our answer is infuriating. It's not helping that she has been with us since the 6th, because DH and I are going on vacay this Friday and had to do a ROFR switch. DH arranged for the makeup custody days mostly when I would be out of state for work so I don't have to deal with her, but Crazy stated she would be sending SD over several extra days and DH just let it happen rather than fight with her. So she will have been here for 20 days and she has been absolutely miserable to be around. She found out I was leaving for work last Sunday and begged him (after I was gone of course) to stay home from school the next day. She kept arguing and it ended with her yelling at him to "Shut the f*ck up". And she got zero punishment. Which...let's just say it's lucky I wasn't there.
Another day DH told her she had chores to do and after whining repeatedly about how stupid chores were she asked if we even do chores when she isn't here. Yes, cause your 5 mins of unloading the dishwasher (which was her only chore that day) and half-assed partial cleaning of 1 bathroom is really just carrying the household Demon. Like she's Cinderella.
I essentially ignore her now except to say hi. I officially do not like this child, and I used to think she was a good kid and had a great relationship with her. I know she's a troubled teen and her mom is actually crazy, but she is not easy to like right now and it's sooo hard to even have a conversation or even try to talk to her. She doesn't look at me or say anything first anyway so whatever.
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What a PITA
On top of being a step PITA, she's 15, the armpit of youth. I feel for you
Hahaha
I lol'd at the armpit of youth.
This does not bode well for
This does not bode well for her future. At 15 the clock is ticking for adulthood. Starr letting your DH know that when she inevitably can't take care of herself after HS, she needs to go somewhere else permanently. Online school. Ridiculous. Just wants to stay in bed and sleep. Although I will say, it seems everyone gets pushed through HS these days so they'd probably find a way to get her to graduate even if she did nothing all day.
Already done
Oh we have had that conversation already many times, trust me. DH 100% agrees she cannot stay here if she can't adult. Both skids have been brought up knowing that if you don't go to college you are working FT and moving out. We are not the parents that enable kids to live at home until they are in their 20's. Thankfully we are on the same page about that because that could be a marriage-ender.
she asked if we even do
This is so absurd it made me lol. Reminds me of the time BM claimed that the only reason I "allowed" SDs in my home was so that I could make them do all the chores I didn't want to do. No, BM. I understand you're okay with living in filth, but I actually am not and so ALL the chores get done regardless of who is or isn't here to do them.
Same same
Crazy tells Demon we are too lazy to clean so that's why we have Skids do chores. Lol. No, it's so they don't turn into lazy inconsiderate slobs, although it doesn't seem to be working... DH ended up in a big argument with Demon after the chore debate also. I cannot with this kid. She's been doing these same chores since she was 7 and she wants to whine and argue 8yrs later??
she wants to cause a fuss
she wants to cause a fuss over one thing so she can push to get her way on the other.
I have some experience with
I have some experience with that whole Cinderalla Syndome rubbish myself. It was too much to ask SD when she lived iwth us to so much help with something as simple as washing a dish or two. Acted like it was some foreign concept. It wasnt long before I was the evil SM for so much expecting anything, like clean home that wasnt allowed to turn into a pigsty like BM;s ( no joke , it was nasty) Hence the inspiration for my Profile Pic, LOL. I guess i turned out the be that Wicked SM ( who is also a devoted cat lady) instead of a Disney Princess after all.
Classic stunted skid reaction
Mentally Demon is between 2 and 3 yrs old. Doesn't bode well.
I had this "cinderella story"
I had this "cinderella story" pulled on me too - when the SKIDs lived with us. One of them in particular would tell people and act as if he was mistreated and doing SO much for the household when in fact he did absolutely nothing to contribute to chores in the household. I remeber asking him to clean A window- ONE window. Just spray the windex on and use the paper towel. Suddenly his "anxiety" spilled out leaving him unable to accomplish the task. Then he spent weeks telling people how horrible stepmom made him clean all the time and that he was given so little. Ummmm NO buddy - you are 20 years old, still living at HOME, pay no rent, don't have job, sit in the basement playing video games all day or wailing ony our guitar. Stepmom works full time, makes meals for the entire family and on her weekend cleans the house - stepmom asked you to clean A window during your 20 year age retirement from doing anything and that was JUST TOO MUCH. Don't fall for that crap and hopefully you can find a way to get her out by 18 - focus your energy on THAT PLAN.
Yep
Once Chef started seeing the light and assigning a few miniscule chores to the ferals, all hell broke loose. You would have thought we had them building pyramids in the back yard. Which ramped up the backlash from the Girhippo and even Chef's oldest half sister who should know better as she herself has been a SM twice over!
"*ROFL* 20 year age
"*ROFL* 20 year age retirement from doing anything " I susepct that SD29 is following the same "Plan" as SS and I also know the whole using "Anxiety" as a constant excuse for why they "can't" do anything routine.Meanwhile, they are really just Lazy.. My SD has been on a leave on absense as she put it..for about the last 5 years since her last short lived gig fell through. Before then and since, she had sitting around mooching off public assistance like BM. ( Who also has the same so called "retirement plan for her future "which means they have none to speak of. Im sorry ,but how does someone "need a break" from pretty much doing literally Nothing???
The reality is that the best
The reality is that the best thing for her to be doing is dealing with the difficult parts of life.. and learning how to manage adversity. You don't get to run from every problem and the coping skills she learns.. the ability to get along with others.. all of that will be much more useful to her than any amount of online schooling.
100%
I completely agree. And she isn't even being bullied- we are keeping a close eye on that. If that were the case and it wasn't being handled...yes that would be a huge concern. But DH and I both did not have it easy at all in school. He had no friends. I had friends but was bullied. We both struggled and understand what place Demon is in. We also know she hates school and is playing the no friends angle for all its worth to get out of it.
Tonight she laid it on especially thick to DH and said she doesn't see why she can't just try online school while we are gone for 3wks (it's only 2). He said no- we have been in her position and we know it's not best for her. I'm proud of him but also think he needs to shut it down harder because she still thinks she has a chance. We both think she can handle this- she just thinks online school is an easy out with the option to sleep in.
Lets see
DH caves in on all SD crazy plans but he holding out that she is not going to live with you as a adult ? ? Good luck with that one.
'You must make it perfectly clear you work from home abd can not have any distractions I.e. SD. You don't care if SD firs to school or not. But you are not take care of her for online school. Since no body can supervise her she must go to physical school.
'If this kid can't make it in school. How is she going to make it in the world. With no schooling, her job market will be limited to jobs people don't want to do to start with. How is she going to go to work every day ? That's why she must go to school
I've gotta be honest Harry,
I've gotta be honest Harry, idk where you got that DH caves in on all of SD's crazy plans, because he doesn't at all. He usually tells her no to most things. And he told her no to online schooling again tonight. He 100% does not want her living here as an adult, and she won't be if he wants to stay married. He can barely make it 2 weeks with her at the moment.
Bullying
I was tormented and bullied EVERY SINGLE DAY at school (ala the movie "Carrie"). My parents told me to suck it up and that it built strong character.
It motivated me to take on extra classes and credits to graduate HS a year early with honors. There's nothing worse than raising an over sensitive offense taking entitled children (spoiled). Bullying isn't fun when you're the target but it sure teaches you to deal with people since you'll never eliminate bullying. Sorry but the modern Anti bullying movement zero tolerance is sheer utopia and flies in the face of human nature.