Lying to husband to get his kids out!
When I tell you I loathe my stepdaughter. The way she looks, smells, acts and worse laughs. This girl is my diarrhea. This troll is my canker sore. This girl is my missing tooth. She is 11 years old and teeters around 300lbs. Her mom is a nurse. Like a serious nurse who works at one of the top hospitals in Texas. Yet here this girl is. Fat. But on top of her being one of the most annoying kids I have ever met, her attitude sucks. My SD acts so sweet around her dad but when he leaves all hell breaks loose. I lied to my husband that I had to work the rest of the week so I wouldn't be stuck babysitting his kids. I have my own children. And it's not fair they are stuck in the house because we don't have the room to put his kids in the car too. Nope, not my problem. I wanted to rent a car so all of us could hit the road, my husband didn't want the extra expense. Not a problem. Get them (his kids) the fuck out my house so my kids can enjoy their break. Today he is working a 10 hr shift and tomorrow 8 hours. We have already discussed him taking off to care for his kids, well he didn't. So my only way out was to lie. And I don't give a shit. My kids also shouldn't be stuck looking after my stepkids either if I run to the store or go mind my own damn business. I am not happy. Can you tell?
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Lately I found myself doing the same thing
I do not have biokidss but ever since dh said that I do nothing for his kids during a fight I have found myself wanting to spend less and less time with him and by extension them.( i still think my steps are good kids). Let's put the responsability square on his shoulders to clean up, cook and educate, clothe his kids. I'm gonna hang out with my friends, read Go places I like and work. Like my MIL said(yes his mother- crazi ole b): They're not your kids why should you care!
I wouldn't be beyond a white lie here and there to get out of spending time "as a family".
How often do you have skids?
How often do you have skids? Why does your DH not have childcare arranged for his kids on your time? You aren’t a free babysitter & you shouldn’t have to lie just to be able to spend time alone with your own kids.
Wow. 11-years-old and 300 lbs
Wow. 11-years-old and 300 lbs is some major neglect of this girl's needs.
Stop lying and start setting boundaries: 1) if DH can't be home with skids during breaks, they stay at BM's. If BM can't take them, they go to grandparents, or daycare, anywhere but with YOU.
All y'all are correct!
Both my husband and her mom are horrible parents. This girl is a disaster! Damn shame I had to lie (buying time) so I wouldn't have to take care of her for spring break. I am not a babysitter nor are my children! I would call CPS my damn self but they would probably place her with us and I don't want that. I would be the one taking care of her. Her father works and he just doesn't get it. That girl gets kicked out of every school she attends. That's a shame. We kept her for the year and pretty much the counselor told me she was a damn disaster too and questioned how I felt having her around my boys? Back story all my children attended the school my stepdaughter was attending at the time. Staff knew me and how I parented. The administration knew my stepdaughter was all over the place. I am sorry she needs to get the fuck out of my house. If I am ever forced to take on this girl again, I will file for divorce. No joke!
Honestly... if you feel this
Honestly... if you feel this strongly about this girl... this is not the man for you. Love is not enough. Your desire for this man shouldn't over take your responsibility to provide your children with a safe environment. The girl is not going to disappear. If you dont have it in you to help things improve... then bow out.
How can she improve anything
How can she improve anything for the girl if BOTH of her PARENTS won't do anything? This is NOT OP's responsibility.
I agree
I know...
Are you self supporting? Why
Are you self supporting? Why are you willing to subject your kids to this dysfunction??
I am confused
I am not self-supporting. But your question is valid. She hadn't been over here in months because he was working weekends. Now he is off but somehow he got confused. Why am I here with them? Something I have realized. While I can't stand my SD. I am really just disgusted with my husband and her mother. I want out this marriage. My husband, if he care, wouldn't have me in this situation yet I am. I want out.
Been there
done that! I lied to my DH several times telling him I had to work away from the home just so I didn’t get saddled with his spawn. I’ve planned visits out of town with my family that “could not be rearranged “ on weekends I would be needed to watch the Brats. I have done it all. Now I no longer have to do that. They don’t need watched any longer and it’s heaven. I can do what I want and when I want. YSS is old enough to stay alone for a while but thankfully he is turning out to be a good kid who I am actually enjoying now. Took 8 years but I can finally tolerate him.
An idea
Have you ever thought to record her behaviour to play it back to your man? Or better yet. Sit the two of them down and play it for both of them and ask how they want you to handle this.
Hmmmm
Good idea.