I swear if the In Laws pull any crap with me today I'm never going back.
I have never been treated like this in my whole life. They are conniving, self righteous and mean. If we go to Thanksgiving dinner and BM is there, I'm never going to agree to see them again.
Sorry for the multiple posts. I'm just crawling out of my skin here. I don't know why people have to be so deceptive. This prolonged attachment between BM and SO's family is only hurting her. She can never have a real relationship as long as she spends every free minute and holiday with her EX HUSBAND's family!
Meanwhile, SO feels totally alienated and so do I.
We're still trying to figure out if BM is going to dinner, information which is being deliberately held from us. We will find out before we leave here. If she's going, we're not.
I feel awful about this. What's so f--ing special about her that she has to be at every family function? Family vacations we're excluded from. Even the birth of her EX brother in law's baby...?! She's pathetic and actually I feel sorry for her that she doesn't have more going for her. That doesn't change that I am hurt and furious about this.
- TryingSoHard's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
Well invite them to your
Well invite them to your place in future. Then you call the shots about who is invite3d and who isn't. If they say no, their loss.
I am so sorry. I am lucky enough to have a MIL who loves me and has little time for DHs ex because she broke his heart. I am willing to share if you want. She really is AWESOME.
Thank you for sharing. It's
Thank you for sharing. It's been really disappointing for me, because SO's family acted like they were welcoming to me at first. They really had me fooled. Boy was I in for a surprise.
It's been consistently hard, lonely and frustrating.
I would do anything for a MIL who truly accepted me, didn't play games and invalidate us when we expressed concern. You are very fortunate.
Sorry you're having to go
Sorry you're having to go through this. My DH's family loves me and was so relieved when we met, they can't stand BM. So I can't say I've been there, BUT, I can imagine how awful it would be to have a SO's family siding with an ex. Have you considered starting your own Thanksgiving tradition like oneoffour suggests? If they can't understand that by excluding you and your husband and favoring the BM they're causing a rift that is non-negociable, then I think you'd be justified in removing yourself from family gatherings altogether. It's sad, I'm sorry your in-laws are so difficult. : (
Hey it sounds like you have
Hey it sounds like you have my ILs! This thanksgiving I refused to go over there and it's all my fault we had a crappy thanksgiving.
My ex il's invite all ex's to
My ex il's invite all ex's to all family functions(those who have had children together) it sounds weird but we're adults and the 1 major rule is you can all come bring new so's even but NO DRAMA. Some of the other couples in the family this works for others not so much and so they just don't come. I went last year and it went just fine. This year I dropped the kids off early so I could say hi and leave before the ex got there as his new gf won't follow the no drama rule and my kids and ex deserve a comfortable TG without my presence making the gf push my ex's buttons over me. Didn't matter he kept them 2 hours and dropped them back with me at my families so the ex and gf could go to a movie. Kids were upset they wanted more time with family they rarely see because their dad won't speak to most of them. I told them they could of stayed longer i'd of gone and got them but they didn't want to make their dad mad. I was sad for them.
Tryingsohard - I thought from
Tryingsohard - I thought from a previous blog that your SO was going to contact the aunt and find out if BM was invited or not, and then decide if you were going?
If the information is being deliberately witheld from you, in that case I would not go - why should you set yourself up for so much potential stress?
Are you going to update us?
Are you going to update us? I've been so worried about how this was going to turn out.