That is gross!!! She should not be doing that!!!

At 12 it is NOT normal to sit on his lap at all. That should have stopped a long time ago - like 5 or 6! She is probably just starting to be hormonal as well so watch out. I can see them giving each other hugs and things like that but sitting there snuggling like they are a couple should not be happening. She does not need to be in your bedroom either.

When my husband and I first moved in together my now SD's were 6 and 8. They slept with us in our bed every night they were there. I never felt it was inappropriate but I did not like it at all. I knew that my now husband, who at the time was my boyfriend, felt guilty about not living in the same house with the girls anymore and he worked alot so letting them sleep with us made him feel closer to them and vice versa, so I understood it and didn't say anything about it for awhile.....

This went on for almost 4 years! and by the end it was a big issue, I felt the kids were too old and too big to be sleeping with us. For one, no one got a good nights sleep because we were scrunched together in what was a king size bed but it was still too small to fit four people. We also have the kids 50% of the time so I felt like I was missing alot of valuable alone time with my husband, he of course didn't want to change the situation for obvious reasons.

I have always had a great relationship with my SD's from day one(I was very lucky that way!) but I did resent the sleeping situation and that made me unhappy when it was our days to have them because I knew I wasn't going to have a good nights sleep.

Finally we decided to move to a smaller house for financial reasons and my husband and I made the decision that the kids would not sleep with us anymore. My OSD was fine with it, she was 11 at this time and I think she felt the same way we did, that she was too old to be sleeping with her parents, she was just waiting for us to say it. My YSD, however, was extremely upset, she was 9 at the time but she had always been the more clingy of the two girls. She was dead set against sleeping in her own bed. It took one night of my DH telling her you are sleeping in this room in this bed and her crying herself to sleep for her to get over it.

......so it wasn't as hard as we thought it would be to remedy the situation and I feel much closer to my husband and my SD's because I can enjoy my time with the girls and still know that my DH and I will get the alone time we both need with each other every night....

....and sometimes I do miss the girls sleeping with us because it was a good bonding experience to talk to each other right before we fell asleep but I miss it the same way I miss playing barbies with them....it's something that had to happen because they are growing up and turning into young women.

They are now 11 and 13 and both sleep in their own rooms and are fine with that. A couple times in the passed year or so my YSD would get upset about something and want to sleep in our room but we had her sleep on blankets on the floor because at this point I do feel it's inappropriate for a girl that age to sleep in our bed.

....I don't think cuddling in bed with your dad is inappropriate as long as it's just long enough to watch a tv show or something along those lines and then the girl goes to bed in her own room. You want them to be affectionate with each other, all though, some of the affection you've mentioned does just sound like the girl wanting to make you jealous....don't let her do that because then she wins. Whenever either of my SD's do something just to get on my nerves, which doesn't happen alot but they are teens so occasionally, I just ignore them or smile and pretend like it doesn't bother me in the slightest and they understand pretty quick that there is no point because they aren't getting the desired result...so try not to let her irritate you, in fact, act like your totally okay with the strange affection, chances are she'll probably get bored with it and move on to something else!

Good Luck!!!

is way too old to be sitting on her dad's lap.

Blabb is turning 9, and I think SHE is too old to sit on da da's lap, which she LOVES to do.

I don't think anyone needs to sit on parent's lap after after 6, or sleep with them either. To me it borders on being sexual when they are 12 doing it! Not a good idea, they need to learn boundaries in their own family so they will not get in bad situations outside the family.

"A lie told often enough becomes the truth." - Vladimir Lenin

My skids are all boys 17, 16 and 11 and my son is 12. My 12 y/o still sits on my lap on occassin and my SS11 sits on my lap too. They are both very loving and sweet young boys. they also both sit on DH's lap. Even my SS16 will sit on DH, bt i think he is just joking and letting DH know he loves him. I sat on my dad's lap forvevr-we were very close. I still go plop down on him once in a while and I'm wayyyy too old for that, but like I said, we are very close. All of the members of my family are very touchy feely-everyone hugs all the time and people are always sitting on someone. None of it evr seems inappropriate. I am just exstatic these days because my OSS17 has decided to go to the college I go to, and my SS11 has started saying "I love you" to me without any prompting. He has said it twice so far

"A parents job is to eat as much sh*t as we have to so that the children do not."

on the lap thing.......but the bedroom, OFF LIMITS. Its HUSBAND and WIFE only. It was ALWAYS that way when i was a kid....even when i was small. NO WAY. My parents had 3 kids and they needed there (little as it was) time alone , away from us blood sucking brats. Tell your husband that is the way it is. In my house we have 2 kids...they are his and we have them 24/7 so we need our time (which isnt much) snugglin in the bedroom is out. NOt to friggin mention how damn much attention do these kids need. Give me a break. We are creating a world of whippy children........sorry im in no mo0od right now.

"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere

12 is getting too old for the lap, but there's a little room there. What sickens me is seeing SD17 sitting on H's lap. Makes me want to smack both of them, hard. It's sickening. totally.

But 12 shouldn't be in your bed! That's overstepping boundaries big time. SD17 laid down on my side of the bed next to her father one time-the look she got from me got her up fast. But I did come in to find SD14 sleeping in our bed once. I told H after that-no more. If it was the only bed in the house, that's different. But it's not.

Time for your H to grow up. If he has to snuggle in bed with a 12 y.o., he's got a prob.

EEEWWW! That is totally inappropriate. At 12 she should be starting to hate him......isn't that what hormones are for?

JamaicanMeCrazy
DISNEY LIED...THERE IS NO 'HAPPILY EVER AFTER'

There is NOTHING normal with a 12 yr old kid "snuggling" with daddy dear anywhere, let alone in your bed! A hug or a kiss on the cheek, but snuggling?? No way! SD17 still slept in the same bed with DH back when she was in junior high - I didn't know them then and I didn't learn about this until MIL mentioned it a while back - of course DH & SD17 denied it, but since they lived with MIL, I suppose she would know. ICK ICK ICK!! WTH is wrong with these parents? Sorry, but in this day and age, this is definately inappropriate.

I would keep any snuggling away from the bed and bedrooms. Other than that snuggling is fine, more so when other people are around and its done in the open.