DSO and I both have adult kids, and he has 1 that is 17.  IMO, try to let go of the texting and him keeping his relationship with his kids intact.  I tend to over analyze when OSS texts DSO bc its always that he needs money but DSO is good about not handing out money we do not have.  My DD texts me a lot and I try and remember that they are his kids and of course he wants to chat with them at times.

It sounds like your DH is not handing out money left and right for his adult skids but it also sounds like he needs to have the 'grown up' talk with them.  I have helped my kids out on financial things, and DSO has helped his, but I tell mine wiht an understanding of you need to pay this back, or we arrange payments or if I have some extra cash, I won't ask for it back.  My kids also have families and mortgages so I understand they are strapped at times, and its my money so my choice. 

I do not get into DSO financial discussions with skids, but he is good about his money and since he won't learn how to log into our banking, he does have to ask me if he has the money lol.   Since I have the mantra of my money, my decision with my bios,  I have to respect it is his money and he can give it to his kids if he would want to and if he has it.

Skids will never be the productive workers/earners that my kids are and he has shot them down many times when they come begging for money but that is on him and BM, not me.

Don't stress the texting, things have simmered down a bit for you so relish in that awesome feeling. Sometimes we have to pick our battles and the texting situation is one of them. Just be glad its texing and not having them over your home constantly. Whenever he's texing with them try to busy yourself with something so it doesn't bother you as much. I'm glad you both seem to be on the same page more often and hoepfully it stays that way.

Now its for Skids to budget their money and pay for their own things so they don't rely on you guys so much. They have to learn responsibility and now is a good time as any to start.

Good for you and DH for noping the car expenses! Time to figure it out on their own. I can't wait for things to settle down with skids.

This wknd: Finally had to tell SS12 to STOP INTERRUPTING convos. It's constant. SO didn't even get mad at me for kind of snapping at SS. Found an email address on SD9's phone that was sexoffendor898@ gmail or something like that, along with 15 other email addresses. SD didn't know what it was, so I told SO. He talked to SS12 who denied denied denied. Repeatedly said he didn't create it. SO said, really? You don't know about it? And proceeded to go throught the "forgot your password" steps, which ended in Google sending a text to the phone # associated with the account (mind you, SS is sitting right there through it all, not fessing up), and guess whose phone dings with a text message? Of course, SS's. SO told him the email wasn't in good taste but the biggest issue is lying. I'm all, yes!, as SO is telling me this story, thinking he's going to ground SS for once. Then he tells me SS's punishment- he wouldn't let him play video games that day anymore (which was 3 hours, since BM was picking them up for her days at 2:30pm), and the "rest of the summer" my SO is going to set the router to turn off SS's electronics at 11pm, ("school hours"), so no more staying up all night. Ok, we only have them 5 more days before school starts. Yes SO, you really showed that skid who was boss. He "only" gets to stay up playing video games until 11pm the remaining 5 days before school for lying through his teeth and making you go through the whole "forgotten password" thing just to catch SS lying. Also, what 12yr old gets to have electronics til 11pm on school nights?? His bedtime is 10:30, why would electronics still be on til 11?? Ugh.

Other than that, BM told skids she hopes I have breast cancer and die. Found BM's dating profile online, which is the worst profile I've ever seen. SO has been very good about letting me feel regular emotions regarding skids- getting annoyed with them occasionally, etc, and not getting mad at me for it. It's been great! Let's hope it lasts.