AITA for Dismissing DH's Plan??
This won't stay up long because it's too identifying.
I think I know how you'll answer, but I'm seeking confirmation because I'm feeling really guilty about shutting DH down.
To start, DH and I have had a wonderful Christmas. We spent the morning with his kids and the afternoon/evening with my family. He stayed the entire time without seeming restless, anxious to leave, impatient, etc. This is rare...and I greatly appreciated it.
BUT...a couple days ago DH came up with this idea for tonight. He kept pushing it, I kept deflecting/changing the subject. Today I just told him "NO!" flat out, and I can tell I've really hurt his feelings.
The idea: Last summer (2019) DH and I produced a film. Not like a "it's always been my dream to make a movie!!" film with local actor friends, but a real independent film with a $2M-ish budget and names you would recognize. We're talking with distributors now and will get a 2021 release.
Naturally, DH is incredibly proud of this accomplishment. So am I. DH was writer/director and I was Executive Producer. It was unbelievably hard, and we made it through with a good product that will be a huge step forward in our careers.
So DH really wants to invite all my siblings over to screen the film tonight. I shut it down and now he's clearly upset with me. Here's my thinking, though:
1.) Between us, we have 7 nieces/nephews ranging from 0-14. That means my mom would have to watch all the kids, and I feel like it's rude to spring that on her...even though they're good kids and she genuinely likes watching them most of the time...I just don't feel good about making a plan that would require her services at Christmas.
2.) I'm the oldest of 6. It's very, very rare that we're all together in the same place at the same time. We all got tested and quarantined so we could spend this time together. I feel like my siblings are polite and would say yes...but they would rather spend our limited time together talking, playing cards, and drinking/eating/hanging out...not watching a film that DH made. I feel especially bad taking my sister who traveled a distance away from my mom's house, since she's here for less than a week.
3.) This is the biggest one for me. The film got into a bunch of fall festivals...so I spent mid September through early December traveling to 26 different states, meeting with distributors/buyers, having long phone calls with our sales agent, networking with festival programmers, and screening the film with all kinds of audiences. I've probably seen it 50 times in the last 3 months. Then when I got home, I spent the three weeks leading up to Christmas prepping for our sale, finalizing all music licenses and brand clearances, prepping our cast and crew files for the union audits, etc. I don't know why DH wouldn't understand that screening the film for my family would feel like WORK to me...and that I'd like to have just ONE uninterrupted week off from thinking or talking about this stupid effing movie.
Anyway. Am I being unsupportive? Am I the asshole for not even letting him issue the invitation to my family? DH is acting so hurt.