BM called two days ago to let us know her friend had recently split from her hubby and had asked her to take her 14-year-old for "Awhile" while she rebuilds her life ... while that's completely admirable that she's willing to do that for her friend I am a bit concerned.

1) the 14-year-old and SS9 will be sharing a room whenever SS9 goes to her house, which is every second weekend and quite a few week-long breaks from school... I'm not sure how I feel about a teenager, who will likely be at the "self-exploration" stage of puberty in the same room as SS9 ... am I off base here?

2) She didn't call ahead of time to talk with us and see how we felt about this. While it's her house and she can do what she wants, this has a very real possibility of spilling over to our house as SS9 lives with us and we deal with the shitstorm when he's mad about stuff from BM's house ... to have another kid basically living the life he would have if he was with his mom full time will no doubt kick up an emotion or two ... we've done our best to mitigate by explaining the circumstances, so hopefully I'm just worrying about nothing ... although she has yet to actually call SS9 and tell him herself ...

3) She spent hundreds of dollars flying this kid out there (again super admirable and I applaud her for being an awesome friend) and has yet to buy one shirt for SS9 for back to school. We bought all of his B2S stuff, paid all his fees, paid for all of his activities and pay for 1/2 the gas for him to go and visit her ... so something is off here ... of all my concerns this is the least, but SS9 is VERY aware of financial things ... if one of our kids gets more than him he feels slighted ... my worry is that he'll put one and one together and come up with something skewed like she doesn't love him, which isn't the case, but he 100% doesn't see it that way, no matter how much I try to teach him money doesn't equal love ... to be fair the other house is very much "stuff" orientated ... stuff = love there so maybe he is right ... for her house ... which is even worse ... and lets face it on a selfish level I resent that we have to pay for everything and she just pays for stuff like holidays or toys at her house ...

I might be over reacting ... but I'd rather worry too much about how it will impact SS9 and ultimately us, than not at all ...