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My piggy back riding 13yo ss is baaaack!

Tx mommy of 3's picture

So no daddy giving piggy back rides this time. But ugh!!! I just cannot STAND this immature kid. I can stand the kid if he were to act his age. It is the fact that he is 13 and acts like an 8 year old that GETS ON MY NERVES!!!! Today we went to walmart. We happened to see one of those carts with the 2seaters in front of te basket. Well my bios4&5 love those. They are a pain to push and we never see them anyway. Well we see one and dh gets it. We put baby in the basket and bios sit in the two seater part. Ss13 left out rides on the end of the basket. Obviously dh couldn't push it and we were holding up traffic as we were blocking the entrance to walmart. I asked ss to get off and he stomped off. Later he decided to sit WITH the bios on the seat part. I was embarrassed that we were with a 13yo sitting next to a 4&5 year old on the kiddie cart! Whn bs4 complained he was 'squished' I asked ss to scoot a little. He got mad and got off. He acted like ds4 should've been the one to get off. Whatever.

Dh got mad at me because I keep getting on to ss this visit. I told him I'm not going to treat him like an 8yo just because he acts like one. He is 13 ad shall be treated like a 13 yo- piggy backs or not. Wink

Comments

Tx mommy of 3's picture

Too funny. This weekss is staying home alone while dh works. The kids and I are at y mom's - 2 hrs away! We gave ss a choice- come with me or stay there all day while dh works. He chose to stay. He asked repeatedly when dh was working. The 1sttime he asked I told him everyday except Friday. 30 min later he asked again and I told him the same thing. An hour later when he asked I let dh answer. After that when he asked I tuned him out. Seriously?!

Anon2009's picture

I think the reason he acts like this is is because DH was absent from his life for 3 years. I think you need to get avideo recorder that you can put on the wall to record SS's behavior. Then show the filmto DH and say, "I'm truly not trying to pick on your son. However, he needs to learn appropriate father-son relationship boundaries. He also has a lot of wounds from his past that haven't healed. Would you consider getting him a counselor? Please do. If you can't do it for him, do it for me. Your son is misdirecting his anger on me and the kids. I can't tolerate that anymore, and will leave if I have to deal with it much longer. SS has every right to be angry but the other kids and I don't deserve this. You have the power to save your children and our marriage and can do so by getting SS intense therapy."

Tx mommy of 3's picture

I kind of agree too. I think you've mentioned counseling to me before. I tried to get dh to get him into counseling way before the time he stopped coming. I will try to bring it up again but I doubt anything will happen. It hasn't gotten to the point yet of me wanting to leave...yet! But things aren't getting better either.

Nobratsallowed's picture

I think that SD11 acting like a 5-year old is one of the main irritants when she is around. She acts her age at school, somewhat in public, but when she is with my SO, she regresses to the age she was when the divorce occurred. Of course, SD11 found exactly what type of behavior works to manipulate her parents. It's worked for all these years, so why change, eh?

Well, it's changing. Now the my SO isn't around SD11 on a weekly basis, she's actually seeing the behavior for what it is. Temper tantrums, sulking, pouting and all around 5-year old behavior makes for some interesting moments when the Precious Pony Princess visits. SD11's BD, on the other hand, continues to coddle her. I can't wait when full adolescence sets in and he has to try and train her like she's a 2-year old. Whoops, too late! }:)

Tx mommy of 3's picture

Exactly why I try to put my foot down now! I do not want this same immature attitude carrying on in his later teen years. I don't know how ss acts at home. I really think he acts just as immature and doesn't have many friends because if how he acts. But I could be wrong. He just turned 13 and last time he was here we made a big deal about how he was a 'teenager' now. He kind of even acted like one. This weekend- back to age 8! One day my kids (ages 4 & 5) will pass him in the maturity department and that should be interesting!

Rags's picture

Way to go. This is exactly the problem we have had with SS-18 for years. He acts ~5yrs younger than his actual age. He seems to be closing the gap at a rapid rate now that he is out of HS and his mom and I are on his ass constantly to make sure he works during work hours. He has no job so we have him clean the toilets, vacuum sweep and mop the floors, clean the kitchen, clean the bird cage, wash windows, do laundry, etc.....

He hates that stuff so much that after a couple of weeks he engages aggressively with his AF recruiter. Once he goes to basic training I am confident that his juvenile behavior will get him some trouble and he will learn that he must act his age and act appropriately at all times. Or, he will actually get it and not have to suffer excessively unpleasant consequences for his lack of maturity.