Innocent or mean as sh!t

This happened a few weeks back but has been bugging me and I can't figure out why or for what purpose it was said. So opinions or maybe an explanation would be nice.

Everybody is in the living room. DH and I are sitting together on the couch. SD(7) out of nowhere says, "Daddy? Remember when you used to sleep with mommy?"

I was thinking WTF! at the time.

Was this done as a innocent little 7 year old comment? Or was it to stir up some sh!t?

Let's not forget she was looking at me the entire time she said it.

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I didn't say anthing. I was in shock. DH just told her that he never slept with her mother. Which of course he did, but not that she can remember. They seperated when SD was 4 and he hadn't slept in the same bed as his ex for two years prior to that.

What would have been the appropriate response from me if there is any?

I have no idea. My moth would

I have no idea. My moth would have been hanging open. :jawdrop:

It pretty much was. She's

It pretty much was. She's getting worse and worse with this trying to out me with her behavior lately. I know it's because of DH and the underminding. Or if I dish out a punishment, the are you alright baby. And how are you feeling.

Effing Puke. Thanks for making me look like a stepmonster while you look like the concerned parent. Maybe if you had set boundaries for the freaking kid when she was little it wouldn't have gotten to the point of where you have to feel sorry for her because she's being punished.

I was pretty pissed when she said it though. It was rude and disrpectful and to me, and I don't think it was not an innocent question.

Well SD views herself an

Well SD views herself an equal or actually I think she views herself as being higher than me in the pecking order in our house.

And you should read some of my previous posts about her. This little girl lied to a cop and a CPS worker about how DH abused her. Then the next week when it was his week with her they were playing and flat out looked him in the eye and said remember what the cop said. Which of course reduced DH to tears.

Sociopath in training.

SS7 will say things like

SS7 will say things like this. Remember when mommy and you were in the same house. Funny, since SS was 2.5 when DH moved out - its very unlikely SS has any actual memories of his own. Makes you wonder where the ideas are even coming from right?

I know it's not coming from

I know it's not coming from the BM. Or at least I'm pretty sure. It'll be anything like "daddy remember that mommy bought that bar of soap in the bathroom?" Really? Your mom and dad haven't been together in over three years. I doubt that your mommy bought the soap.

could be to get a reaction

could be to get a reaction out of you. my sd6 like to say things like this when we are all around the dinner table, like telling us a big family function with SOs family "my mommy and daddy used to be married but my mommy didnt love him anymore now she loves my new daddy" in front of everyone. i was like :jawdrop: my So was furious and told her to stop, it was a little awkward after that. Or telling my bd5 bd4 how "her mommy and daddy take showers together all the time" seems stupid writing it out but at the time it was the wtf are you saying these things for? With her even though shes only 6 little comes out of her mouth thats meant to be innocent, its all calculated I swear her mom is the master manipulator and she picks up on it very well.

SD5 comes up with crap like

SD5 comes up with crap like that sometimes. "Remember when you used to spend the weekends with me and mom and Papa's house?"

DH:"I've blocked it out of my mind. I'm glad your mother is nice to you and Papa, but she was not very nice to me. That's why we aren't married anymore."

SD5 "Mom says that if you weren't here with Mama NJ you would still live with us."

DH "I'm sorry to hear that your mom lied to you. I hated being married to your mom because of your mom. She's an okay mom, but she was not a nice wife. If she were the last woman on Earth and Mama NJ didn't exist, I would still not live with your mother. You would live with me half the time and you would live with her half the time, and we would NEVER under any circumstances all live together."

Why not laugh. Expect thise

Why not laugh. Expect thise snippy little chips away at your self esteem. She will only do it when she needs to prove something because her 'status' is losing footing or under threat.

I would laugh and say "SillySD7! Why on earth would you say something like that?"

Then when you are alone with your DH you both need to come up with a 'script' to use. His response was good. But he needs to make it clear he is NOT discussing this with her ever again "I didn't sleep with your mother. This is not a subject I will discuss with you. If you continue you can leave the room for the rest of the night." She needs to face short term exile from the family unit (esp her father) when she behaves like this.

My FDH's kids are still

My FDH's kids are still saying this kind of stuff (not about sleeping together, but general stuff of when BM and FDH were together), and they are 19, 20, and 23. Seriously-it is not often but every once in awhile they will say, "remember when you and mom did this or remember this or that." They don't say it verbally, they will message or post an old pic of them and try to be nostalgic or whatever. They have made it crystal clear that they want FDH and BM back together,despite the fact that BM remarried and that she hates FDH. BM and FDH separated years ago, they had a bad relationship from the start.

I just shake my head.

I agree with the poster who said it depends on the kid. If she is especially smart and perceptive/has been "instructed" by BM, then she was stirring the pot. If not, it was probably an innocent remark.

I find their memories to be a

I find their memories to be a bit skewed. "Remember when hereiam screamed at you and threw dishes at your head?" Nope, that was your mother.

sd is different. fdh and bm

sd is different. fdh and bm split when she was 3 months, so she has no memory of them together at all. she never does the remember when about bm with fdh, but she was in the habit of doing the remember when about herself in front of or right to me for a while. and she was making most of the shit up. i don't think she ever fantasized about fdh and bm getting back together, but she damn sure made sure to let me know she was in fdh's life before i was. she doesn't see me as competition with bm, but competition for herself. silly little twit.

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Innocent or mean as sh!t

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