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Now we're getting a divorce

Unhappy's picture

Apparently DH didn't like my idea of disengaging from the whole situation with him and his kids. And I guess all I do is take. I'm a taker. All because I want more or some attention from him. He doesn't like the fact that I refuse to wait my turn for him to show me that I exist and was planning on doing what he does to me and focus my attention else where and not be the filler for when his kids are asleep or not at the house for week. WOW!!! Just amazes me. When you threaten to put the shoe on the other foot all of a sudden it's wrong and I become a selfish taker. Let's see everything that I take.

I do all of the laundry for him and his kids.
I clean the entire house for him and his kids.
I have created a positive insentive program FOR HIS KIDS.
Tried to help creat structure, boundaries, and rules for his kids.
Given up having a life for him and his kids.
Gave him $1700 to pay off his taxes.
Wash all of the bedding in the house.
Make all of the beds.
Clean his kids rooms after his kids leave.
I have put up with his BD being completely out of control.
I didn't leave when she was having bad thoughs about stabbing us while we were naked.
Helped make sure he got his kids Christmas morning this year.
Dealt with his son almost killing my BD, SD, himself, and me in the car.
I make sure that all of the kids have breakfast, get dressed, and make it to school on time.
I sit with his kids and mine and do family Christmas traditions.
I make sure that they have father's day presents for him every year.
I take care of them when he has to go to work on the weekends.
Try and do special things with SD because of her behavioral issues.
Do most of the Christmas shopping for his kids.
Do the grocery shopping.
Help with the kids homework if he hasn't already done it. (I did it all the first year the girls were in school while he sat out in the living room cuddling and playing with SS.)
I buy the kids fun summer toys.
I scrub his son's urine off of the toilet.
I have had to deal with his BD being a bully to mine. Stealing from her, trying to make her feel unwelcomed, and emotionally abusing her.
I have dealt with all of the drama from his ex. Everything from stalking for the first year and DH did nothing about to her calling CPS on him.
I have dealt with him undermining me to the point where SS quit talking to me for six months. It was like I didn't exist.
I spent days coming home from work to tape and paint SD's room for her b-day present last year for hours only to have DH tell me it looks like sh!t.
Bought his BD a bed, princess canopy, LED flowers, new bedding, and spent months trying to find the perfect prints online that I could blow up for the posters on her walls.
Have been there for both SS and SD when they are hurt or sick.
Gone clothes shopping for his BD.
Gone without the new clothes that I need just so the kids could have more.

Oviously this list can go on and on.

As you can plainly see with all of this, I am a taker. That's all I do is take, take, and take. It's all about me. Didn't you know that scrubbing urine off of a toilet is something everyone wants to do. Nope. That job is all mine and I am going to get to it before anybody else does because I am a taker and not a sharer. And how dare I want DH to spend a little bit of quality time with me while SS is there. How selfish of me. I should just know my place and wait quietly on the side lines for my turn because in all actualality I will never come first and should understand that by now. And boy oh boy if I put my foot down and say no more. I will not be waiting on the sidelines anymore. If you can't give me what I want then I'll just develope my own life outside of this then I better watch out. How unfair of me to be so selfish.

I'm sorry DH, but go eff yourself. Good luck finding anybody that will put up with and do what I have done. What I think is funny is he called his ex a taker as well. I think he's going to run into a lot of "TAKERS" throughout his travels. It seems that anybody who doesn't fall in line with what he wants is a taker.

Comments

princessmofo's picture

^^^^^^totally^^^^! He can eff off! I think he's totally taking you tor granted. Stand your ground.

Anywho78's picture

Yes...that poor man will never find a woman who is his standard of "giver"...LMAO!

Lucky him, he'll be able to take those jobs that you've so selfishly kept all to yourself now that your selfish butt will be gone & he can happily start cleaning up after his own spawn.

((((hugs))) I know that this must be hard for you on some level but I am not sorry that your eyes have been opened to how you SHOULD be treated! I'd rather be alone than put up with constant "waiting your turn" as a man's wife.

You deserve so much more from the man who you chose to be with.

Unhappy's picture

I couldn't agree with you more. I deserve more from the man that chooses to be with me. And to be honest with you, I'm not all that torn up about it. You know us selfish takers are all about ourselves so I really have nothing to be sad about. I printed out the complaint for divorce paper work while at work today and I plan on filling it out and filing it on Monday.

Anywho78's picture

NICE! You're like me then Unhappy...when I was done with my XH, I was DONE. It was finished & there was no going back. Took me far too long to get there (stupid me!!!) but I got there eventually.

You keep on keeping on with that selfish taker crap! Funny how having that thrown at you will actually change you from an overcaring, oversharing doormat to someone who actually cares about HERSELF & her own happiness (you selfish taker you!!!) YAY selfishness!!!

whatwasithinkin's picture

oh dear...look if your divorcing him. can I move in? me and my girls. Ill even split half the list with you and their girls so we can check the urine on the toilet seat off the list.

Seriously, I know right now this second your DONE. I'm hoping however it turns out is best for you and yours.

Unhappy's picture

It's his house but he's all yours if you want him. Just be careful not to want anything other then he is willing to offer or else you will be labeled a taker.

Oh and I just walked into the house and he's letting my 8 year old watch pet cemetary which he knows will p!ss me off. Yay me.

stepmomto3bioto1's picture

Hmmm. Ive got one good wotd to describe HIM then... I believe its called DUMBASS!!! Hell, if your such a "taker", lmao. Hes done lost his mind!!!! He needs a damn Dictionary!! He seems rather confused on that wor "taker". Nope.... Heres his new title, "ABUSER"!!!

StickAFork's picture

Sounds like he had the guts to do what we've all been saying YOU should do.

Time to move on...good luck!

blending2012's picture

Okay I'm unclear - did he suggest the divorce or is it something you brought up to him? Look I've been where you are now - believe me. Then I stopped and thought no one asked me to clean jack shit. So I can't be mad about doing it. Once I just stopped doing it all I felt loads better. I still wash my boys clothes and help them clean their rooms but I do not clean a single thing for his kids. I close the doors to their messy rooms. I don't was my husbands clothes either and you know what? No one seems to have even really noticed.

I can never have company over anyway because his oldest daughter is so fucking rude so why bother having a clean house? I hate to hear about a divorce Sad is there any way you could just do less to save your sanity?