BigBrother's Pre-K graduation went well. I was not happy to see DH's ex-laws there (the same ones he forced me to go on vacation with years ago). We are all cordial and polite now, but I still have no respect for them for the contribution they made to pitting Starry against me her entire childhood. Starry's older half sister was there too. 

She is someone I absolutely cannot stand. A few years ago, she lied to Starry and told her that I said when they were little "she should stop coming to our house because DH isn't her real dad." That is a lie! That conversation did not happen. 

And of course Starry believed her. "Well, I could see Rutherford doing that..."

Girl, please! Sister came to me and said she didn't think she should come over when they were kids because DH isn't her real dad. I said that we enjoyed having her with us too but said she can do whatever she wants to. So she stopped coming over. 

She twisted my words around so she could make me a villain. Both girls did this to me more than once when they were growing up. 

Anyway, we managed to be polite too. We were all there for BigBrother5 because it was his night. And he looked adorable in his cap and gown. 

I spent a lot of time during this event keeping a close eye on LittleSister2, who wanted to walk all over the gym. So I held her hand and walked around with her.

My relationship with my grandkids is the good that has come out of this. Preach's mother and I are the only grandmothers they have. Starry does not have anything to do with Luciferette and has been no contact for years. So the kids don't know her. 

Starry was pleasnant today. I can tell she's having one of her good days. I swear it's like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde with her. But the doctor was in today. Maybe part of that has to do with the fact that we are watching the kids tomorrow.

As angry as I have been with her lately, I wonder if I'm being too judgmental and harsh. Mental illness is real. I don't want to dismiss that. I also don't want that to be an excuse for how she has treated us during the past two years (more on that later).

This is what is hard. I truly love her, which is why I am so hurt and pissed when she acts a fool. She is the only daughter I will ever have (remember, I could not have my own kids). I still feel I should be present, even through I know we will never be close. 

So I just love her kids. It's the best way I can show love to her at this point. They are a joy in my life and are the only people in my family (and this includes DH) who have always loved and accepted me for me. I'm not step-anything to them right now.