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Mini husband

Wah-wah-11's picture

Ever since I DH & I started dating his oldest who was 5/6 has acted like he has to tell me how to do everything in regards to them. It started as ball practice is here, we wear shorts to this, we have cookies for this.. He's 10 now & it has progressed to him questioning the clothes I lay out for him, he tries to parent the younger kids, he will yell at his brother if he doesn't get up for school when he says, he lectures him on his behavior & grades. He calls our little one baby, like come on baby you want to come watch a movie with me? Like in the parental way of a pet name. Now we are potty training the little one and he has started wanting to take him to the bathroom (to poop) in public. I was taking him to the water fountain and he followed me where you going? I said he wants a drink. He says here I got it I got it I'll take him.. Then it was give me middle kids jacket practice is over I'll go get him.. No we can wait right here till it's over and then middle kid can meet us at the steps or come up here like always ..

DH tells him to quit trying to be the daddy, tells him that WE have this parenting thing under control & it's not his job. But u got aggrevates over him question the shirt I got out for him and was telling DH how he was doing the bathroom stuff with our little one and he says "well he's just trying to help"

Trying to help or not .. It's on my nerves

Comments

Wah-wah-11's picture

It's sweet to a point and helpful to a point .. But when you are fussing at the other kid for getting in trouble at school or having bad grades and he feels the need to take over the talk .. It's a little much

Wah-wah-11's picture

And it's not so cute when he goes to wake the other one up and starts screaming idiot! I said get up now!!! And jerking the covers and grabbing to get him out of the bed .. Not so cute

Wah-wah-11's picture

And if we ask him to do something he gets mad and tries a fit about why do I have to do it

Wah-wah-11's picture

I know it's normal to a point. But like I said he's to the point of when he wants the middle kid to get up he screams at him and this morning he was hitting pushing him to get him out of the bed. And while it's sweet he wants to take my son to the bathroom to poo while we r out somewhere it won't work. He would take him to the boys bathroom which I can't go in and I'm 98% certain he would wipe the booty lol. I tell him I love you but it's not your place to get him out of bed and make sure he gets ready & it's not your job to take him to poo

emotionally spent's picture

I thought I was the only one with this issue! I refer (privately of course) to SD8 as mini mom. Although most of the time she is extremely helpful at other times she interferes. She is not the oldest but one of the middle girls and will help the younger ones dress and such which can be great. The times when it is not helpful is when discipline is in order and she wants to interfere or take over. Or she will do things for them rather than them learning to do things on their own. The other day I was asking BF if the girls had any medicine left and she proceeds to interrupt and answer ..I ignored her as I expect the father to know this information! I believe this is because both parents have relied on her so heavily to 'take care of things' when they are busy. She is capable and responsible, likes to help so some of the 'parenting responsibilities' fell on her. But I explain to her that though we really appreciate her help there are certain responsibilites that will fall on the adults in the household and she needs to step back. She is not to discipline unless she sees harm could happen, she is not responsible for medications and we go from there as new issues arise. I also had a talk with BF about this...8 year olds don't need these types of responsibilities and it causes chaos as the other kids resent having a sibling barking orders at them and fights ensue and noise errupts...can be so very stressful!!

MommyNotMommy's picture

Your assessment of the "smart kid" thing is both spot on and hilarious! Thank you for the laugh!

Wah-wah-11's picture

Hahah ... I've heard the he's so smart .. I don't know if his is a mixture if he wants to help and be in control or what his deal is .. In the beginning it was bc I was new to the "family" and he said he didn't like me bc he thought I was trying to take his dad away from him.. Now years later he thinks he is a grown to and can make decisions for the house and u guess he feels like bc he was "here" first his opinion matters more than mine and I don't really have a say