The ASS Chronicles - T minus 4 days
Scene - my bathroom this morning. I am at my sink getting ready and DH is at his sink getting ready.
Me - so, are we still on for the Big Move Out on Sunday?
DH - yep
Me - I have noticed that ASS has not yet begun packing up his shit
DH - I know
Me - Just so we are on the same page, he IS aware that it's going down on Sunday, right?
DH - yep
Me - and he DOES know that he needs to clean out his room and pack up his shit, right?
DH - yep
Me - and YOU are aware that he has done none of that thus far, right?
DH - yep
Me - okay, so whatever is left in that room WILL be thrown away after he leaves, yes?
DH - yep. I have told him to use his time off before graduation to pack up his shit. In typical ASS fashion, I got no response. Feel free to trash, burn, recycle, whatever he leaves behind.
Me - yep
4 more days, 4 more days, 4 more days!!!
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Sunday morning, a handful of
Sunday morning, a handful of garbage bags, an hour tops and he'll be all set. People like ASS don't 'pack' , they stuff and go.
The graduation ceremony is at
The graduation ceremony is at 1pm. I will not be attending. While ASS and the others are at graduation, I will go to the store and buy a box of big black garbage bags and put them on ASS's bed.
If I am feeling nice, I will stop and buy a bow for the box. Happy graduation, mothereffer!!
grad ceremony on a sunday?
grad ceremony on a sunday? wth.
i hope your feeling nice that day, i believe a pretty, fluffy bow would be a lovely touch!
happy hump day dont forget to have the steak and bubbly ready.
they are always on Sundays in
they are always on Sundays in our school district.
Kind of a pain in the ASS - see what I did there??
I don't know how you expect
I don't know how you expect him to clean out his room when he doesn't know how to operate a trash bag. And packing? Suitcases/duffel bags/boxes are HARD to figure out.
LOL! All those zippers on
LOL! All those zippers on suitcases are soooo hard to figure out, right????
I am emerald green with
I am emerald green with jealousy. Now excuse me while I sulk in my corner whilst nursing a drink.
Jasper, if you make it that
Jasper, if you make it that long, you deserve a MAGNUM of champagne. Aw, screw it. A case of champagne magnums!!!
I'm toasting the purging of
I'm toasting the purging of ASS!!!
Every time I see duct tape, I
Every time I see duct tape, I hear ASS'S "fight the power" shit he used to spew.
I'mma make you a duct tape
I'mma make you a duct tape wallet. And maybe a purse. Do you wanna dress, too?
Oh, there's still going to be
Oh, there's still going to be plenty of that. BabyVoice makes duct tape everything. UGH...
I am going to miss the ASS
I am going to miss the ASS stories...but happy for you.
Oh, I am sure there will
Oh, I am sure there will still be ASS stories.
They will probably go a little something like this - DH said blah blah blah stupid shit that ASS is doing blah blah blah. I said oh, that's nice.
The end.
Nope - not one dime. I asked
Nope - not one dime. I asked and DH said "well, I didn't ask to be born so why should I give him any money?"
I nearly peed myself.
I am quite sure that DH's mom and dad will give him money for graduation. I haven't heard much from or about Medusa's dad and SM lately, not sure if they are traveling or what. Don't really care.
DH's mom has already bitched at him because she wont' be able to see her beloved ASS as much as she wants to. Mind you, she has seen him once or twice in the last year.
DH's mom can let ASS move in
DH's mom can let ASS move in and she can see her pwecious gwandASS every single day!!
Yep - I told him that she
Yep - I told him that she will likely get her chance when Mrs. Frank kicks him out - lol!
When my SS came to get his
When my SS came to get his crap, it took him 20 minutes to take what he wanted & he never came back for the rest. He basically left everything we had given him over the years so he could remain the victim that got kicked out 6 weeks before graduation... that's what happens when you get caught again with a knife at school & won't let your dad talk to your publicense defender.
Anyways, we ended up giving away 10 kitchen garbage bags of clothes to a neighbor with a few boys, donating all his puzzles to one of our second hand stores, tossed a bunch of crap he let get nasty, & sadly, we still have a couple of boxes of his sentimental crap... I'm a softy...
His room is so toxic that I
His room is so toxic that I am guessing there won't be much to donate.
I will salvage anything that I can, but I will toss most of it just because I don't like him and he has been told to pack up what he wants to save....
I'm going to send you a case
I'm going to send you a case of Lysol! I can't believe the day of asslessness is almost upon us!!
I was at the grocery over the
I was at the grocery over the long weekend and I picked up 4 of those odor absorbing jar things, know what I am talking about?
Like this - http://www.walmart.com/ip/Fresh-Linen-Odor-Absorbing-Gel-15-oz/23816397
Never even thought about Lysol....great idea!
Now to pick the paint color for my office - wah hoo for me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Out of stock huh? I guess you
Out of stock huh? I guess you bought them all!!! Hahahaha!
Perfect!
LOL! I did buy all that were
LOL! I did buy all that were on the shelf at the grocery. I am guessing I will need more - ha!
What color are you favoring?
What color are you favoring? You do know that you are the envy of many SM'S here, righy?
I'm just excited that your DH is walking the walk.
I haven't even thought about
I haven't even thought about the color scheme yet....I tend to lean toward muted colors, so I will probably head out this weekend and buy some samples and slap them on the (smelly) wall to see what I like.
Maybe a gray, or a muted blue???
Light grays are nice. They
Light grays are nice. They add color to the room but don't make it look closed in like a darker color would. I'm remodeling and plan on using a lot of grays in my addition.
yep - and it's a pretty small
yep - and it's a pretty small room, long and narrow. My master bedroom is gray, but it's huge!
I think gray also makes the
I think gray also makes the room look clean but not clinical. It's a very peaceful color to me.
YES!! it's a peaceful and
YES!! it's a peaceful and calm color
how about a lovely, warm milk
how about a lovely, warm milk chocolate color?
valspar makes one exactly by that name that i think is gorgeous. they also make one called grandma's linen that's a beautiful gray-green (like a dusky sage)...
i also love the muted colors but like a little bit of warmth and color saturation.
I will check them out. since
I will check them out. since it's going to be my office (as well as the sort of guest room, but not for ASS), I am making ALL the decorating decisions
I know that my DH put his 2nd
I know that my DH put his 2nd wife thru hell in dealing with SS30. So glad that was not me.
At first I thought that she was awful for refusing to deal with SS. OMG - She was right. She had children in the same age bracket.
SS30 and his older brother SS40 (now deceased) were both HORRIBLE worthless POSs. No redeeming qualities whatsoever. DH and BM were not awful people. Both were educated productive members of society with no addiction issues. I do not know how both ended up with TWO worthless sons. I've seen many people end up with one child who is worthless out of three or four - but never both.
I'M YELLING, TOO! DON'T
I'M YELLING, TOO! DON'T WORRY, HE WILL NEVER LIVE IN MY HOME AGAIN!!!!
you say "tough broad" and
you say "tough broad" and others say "total bitch"
Either way, I will take it