Welp - this could be messy
Many of you know all about my story, but for those who don't, a quick recap. Back in 2012, DH got full custody of ASS (then 14, now 25), KarateKid (then 12, now 23) and BabyVoice (then 10, now 20) because of the Beast's inability to allow him to exercise his parenting time and her complete refusal to foster a relationship between the children and DH. The Beast was given visitation, which she never exercised and was eventually taken away from her. The skids didn't see her for the better part of those ten years, though she did reach out to two of them once they got to college. Ginormous disaster
There is only one person in the Beast's family who has had consistent contact with her (the Beast is just not good at relationships) throughout the mess that is her life and that is her Grandmother, Letty. Letty is the Beast's paternal grandmother. DH and I worked hard to keep the skids plugged in with the Beast's family over the years and the Beast's half-sisters have been the best aunts those kids could have ever hoped for. None of them have contact with the Beast, which was more then helpful.
Letty is now something like 95 and is in hospice care. The moment that DH and I have been dreading appears to now be at hand - Letty's goodbye and funeral. Which the Beast will absolutely attend. Even though no one will want her there. BabyVoice called me this morning to tell me this news and to let me know that she will be driving across the state today to go and see Letty. Not sure if KarateKid will be going with her, but maybe he will go tonight after he gets off work.
ASS is in Texas, so he won't be coming in to say goodbye, as far as I know, anyway. He and BabyVoice are the two skids that the Beast had made contact with, but she has never tried to contact KarateKid in all these years. Should be interesting, and, of course, I will keep you all in the loop.
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Sad
Letty sounds like a good person and your SKs are showing their love and maturity (who would have thought) by reaching out to her and driving to see her. Yes, I'm sure Beast will cause drama but the SKs are adults now and it's their prob now. Phew, aren't you glad?
Letty is not, in fact, a good
Letty is not, in fact, a good person. And, while it will be a problem that the skids face, BabyVoice is very open with her feelings about all of this mess, so it will also be a problem for DH and me.
One of the Beast's half-sisters has already texted me the "keep skids away from the Beast" plan - lol. The skids got a raw deal when it comes to the Beast, but they are beyond fortunate to have their two aunts, for sure!
Funerals are for the living.
Funerals are for the living. If it's going to be uncomfortable or awkward you don't have to go, or you can just make an appearance, same with all the kids. There shouldn't be an obligation to go to a wake, viewing, service, burial, luncheon... Etc... You are certainly allowed to go to one of the events or none of them.
My father's dad died over Christmas one year. I didn't have the vacation time to be in my dad's hometown for a few days so I was only able to attend the viewing the day before the funeral and you know what? Nobody is going to hold that against me. I made time to connect with the family members I needed to connect to but all of the other ones, it wasn't an issue.
People don't live on in a casket or in the ground, they live on in your memories.
oh I am not going to the
oh I am not going to the funeral!
Fingers crossed
I hope the great aunts manage to get BV and KK in and out without too much drama.
Poor KK, I can't imagine that he wants to connect with the Beast but surely he must feel bad that she didn't try to reach out to him like she did to his siblings. I'm sure he is grateful to have skipped the experience but still. She is such an evil b*tch.
DH and I have talked to him
DH and I have talked to him about in the past. Typical young adult male response of "I don't care" but we can tell that he does. We don't push, and he always seems relieved for the most part that he hasn't had the unpleasant experience that BV and ASS did.
The aunts will do a great job keeping the skids safe - they can't stand the Beast, either, though according to DH, they ADORED her when they were younger. They are from Beast's dad's second marriage, and they are much younger than her. They absolutely love the skids, and both have told me that they will usher them out the second things go sideways.
The visit with Letty will apparently take place later on today. BV left her college town this morning and it is a two hour drive to our house. KK is leaving work early today and will meet her at our house and off they will go. BV said that she will probably stay the weekend, so I am sure there will be many discussions this weekend...
Let us know how it goes
I feel for them with such a hideous mother.
Those kids are lucky to have
Those kids are lucky to have family that cares about them and realizes that those kids needed a good mom and since the Beast wasn't going ot be one- the kids deserved the family support- not her.
I hope they are at peace with great grandma's passing, she lived a long life.
Your post really got me thinking about SSstb23 and his mom's family. SS's step-grandma and grandpa are great. We encourage that relationship and remind him to call them and I keep them up to date on things with SS. The other day I was talking to DH about siblings and the whole first born. 2nd, baby and how it relates to roles in marriages. I asked if BM1 has any siblings but then immediately said, duh- she has to be an only child, no one has ever reached out to SS. DH said no, actually she is one of like 5 that he knows of. My mind was blown! 4 Aunts and uncles and not a one has reached out to SS. That is just sad. My family reaches out to him all the time, DH's sisters do too. Even just sharing a funny meme that make them think of SS- something just to say- Thinking of you!... but no. Nothing from that entire side of the family minus STEP GRANDMA and Grandpa. Not even Bio grandma, though I heard she was an addict back in the late 90's- early 2000's so who knows if she is even still alive.
Sorry, didn't mean to take away, I am just happy that your skids have support from all their family.
man, that IS sad. I just don
man, that IS sad. I just don't get that at all. DH has always been close with the Beast's family (her dad, SM and half sisters) and he even lived with her dad and SM when he first moved out of their marital home. I LOVE all of them except her dad (apple didn't fall far from that tree, for sure) and when DH got custody of the skids, it was very important to us to keep them plugged in with that side of their family.
The skids aunts have always included me in the bridal showers, baby showers, family events and I really like them. Of course, it totally helps that they have no communication with the Beast. The Beast has three nieces and nephews that she has never met, though I am sure she must know about them through her contact with Letty.
People are just weird AF, I guess....
Gads. I hope the kids are all
Gads. I hope the kids are all able to avoid contact with her. Will there be anyone on standby to remove that twunt if she causes a scene?