I am SM to 12 yo and 9 yo boys that live with us full time. Parenting differences between DH and I are HUGE! I believe children should respect adults (particularly parents) and not talk back... and generally should be "nice" when speaking to their parents.

The two SS's CONSTANTLY backtalk and argue with both of the biological parents. (Not so much with me because I simply walk away and say "Not my problem"). DH obviously still feels guilty over the divorce and coddles the children and never makes them use common manners (thank you, please, sir, ma'am). I am saying he feels guilty over the divorce based on his actions, not on anything that he has said.

So the point of this entry... Regression. Here we go: About a week ago, I found out that the 9 yo had sucked a pacifier until he was about 5. I find that incredibly irresponsible on the parent's part. Supposedly, DH "tried" to get the child to stop sucking the pacifiers, but the BM would keep buying them for the child. (This is typical childish behavior for them both.) So the dad was trying to stop the pacifier while the mother was encouraging it and laughing at the dad for his failure. The youngest SS (the 9yo) took great delight in telling me that his mom would buy him paci's and his dad couldn't do anything about it.... and my obvious disgust with the whole situation. There was nothing funny nor cute about it.

Last night was New Years Eve. We took the children to a community event and a vendor was selling light up pacifiers. The 9yo picked one out and his dad bought it. I didn't really think anything of it. Just a novelty for the New Years celebration, right?

About an hour later, the 9yo is pitching a fit and flat out b!tching at his dad because he wanted spend the night company that night. (It's about 10PM at this point.) Well, they had a huge argument and the 9yo sulked for the remainder of the time. By the time we left the celebration at 11PM, Dear Old Dad was feeling extremely guilty and started apologizing and babying the 9yo in an attempt to get him to stop sulking.

When we arrived home to watch the ball drop in Times Square, DH climbed in his recliner... asked the 9yo to come cuddle with him... and the 9yo spent the next hour in his dad's lap, sucking the pacifier, talking baby talk, and not even taking the paci out of his mouth to talk! I was completely disgusted and tried to ignore the whole situation. (If I had said anything, I am the "bad guy" in the children's eyes and DH justifies all their horrible behavior. Over the past 2 years, I have learned to keep my mouth shut.)

This morning, I get up and am walking down the hall and guess what I see! Yep... the 9yo in the bathroom talking baby talk with the pacifier in his mouth!!

These little things keep adding up and I am becoming more and more unhappy in my marriage. I feel like the lone responsible person surrounded by a village of "real world" idiots.