Lost and confused Dad needs advice
I am a 40 year old Father of a 1 year old girl and have a 19 year old step-daughter. I find that my step-daughter writes lies after lies on a blog of hers about what goes on in her life, and also just recently revealed that she hates me. Her mother and I met about 3 years ago and things seemed to be fine until we had the baby and then moved into a home. The 4 of us are in the house and she seems to play a victim to things that do not exist. Is this normal at her age to make up stories and then reveal she hates me behind mine and her mother's back like this? I do not know how to react if at all.
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I am actually amazed that
I am actually amazed that some of you think it is ok for the SD to post that she hates her Sdad. I would not care how old she is, that is some disrespectful crap. If my skid posted that on Fb I would be livid. Too many people see that.
This is a 19 year old that does not work. Not a 13 year old teen.
Now I do agree that she should not have to watch the kid. BUT, if she is 19 and will not work, then she should watch the kid some.
IMHO...it would really anger me if ANYONE posted on FB that they hate me or other mean stuff,
Exactly. I used to say it
Exactly. I used to say it myself about my parents growing up. My own kids have said it about me when I didn't let them do something they wanted or didn't give them the financial resources they thought I should have. I think the kid deserves to have her own thoughts. I would agree about the respect aspect if she was saying it to his face or in front of him.
I agreed with you on your
I agreed with you on your thread about the lunch money. I didn' read that far into this post because he said it was about her writing that she hated him. That is really inconsequential. There are so many other things to argue about with a adult kid living at home. It is wise to pick the battles on the hills you want to die on.
My xSD did this to us so I know what you're talking about. My own kids had to speak to child protection services while they were visiting THEIR dad in another state because of the allegations of my xSD. I don't get that from this post.
my mom didn't know until i
my mom didn't know until i was 25 (now 28) that i absolutely hated my ex step dad..........i wasn't comfortable telling her sooner and given that they JUST finished a divorce, she understands, but he still doesn't know but i don't care either
I agree with the poster that
I agree with the poster that said if he's paying the mortgage, he has the right to look at anything that goes on in his house. She's sounds like a jealous brat to me. But the real issue here is that he thought he had a decent relationship until he read what she posted on this blog. I can relate since I thought I was developing a really good relationship with my adult SD32 before I realized that she was nice to me as long as I NEVER disagreed with anything she did. Then I suddenly became a controling bitch! I was devestated to be honest. The really sad thing is that my DH always has an excuse for her behavior. It's very hurtful to know someone feels that way about you. And frankly, a 19 year old certainly knows what she's doing. I still say she's a jealous brat. She needs to move out. Give her a time limit to save some money after she gets a real job. And talk to your DW about all this. You two need to be on the same page if possible.
The difference between SD
The difference between SD posting her thoughts to only a few (who all know the stepdad) and us posting here saying we hate our skids if we do, is that we are ANONYMOUS here.
We are not publicly embarrassing and humiliating those who support us, in front of people who know both parties by name, address, etc. by saying we live a two faced lie and 'secretly' hate the people who pay our rent.
I guess you can tell DH and I have had the same experience - it forever changed the way I saw my SD. I too thought we had a good relationship until then.
So you can feel whatever you want, but when you publish it where I have a reasonable chance of reading it, you will get what happens after that too. Its a two way street.
So in other words, it is what
So in other words, it is what it is. She will always be the "victim" in this role. It happened as soon as we all moved in together. How do I handle it?
Teenage girls can be HATEFUL.
Teenage girls can be HATEFUL. Don't let anything she says have an effect on your self-esteem. She needs to graduate and either go to college or get a job and support herself.
You need to enjoy your baby with your wife. SD needs to get out there and start making a life for herself. She has 2 choices. College or Work!
There is no need for you to enable sd to sit on her can and use up your free money. If you put this to her now, you can speed up your transition to happiness.
source: sd21, ss20, dd19, dd18, ss17, ds13, ds9.
Trust me, I've been there.
I see you have been through
I see you have been through this. The hard part for me is being the evil Step dad. I feel like she is my own daughter, so I guess this is good training for things to come from my 1 year old. It is very hard to say no when you are stressing over the situation of wanting the admiration of your wife's teenage daughter. I love and treat her just as she was my own.