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Venting and Wondering How Long it Will Take.......Any Guesses

WifeVersion2.0's picture

My DH FINALLY Found a JOB!! Smile Short backstory - he and I got married in 2009 and two weeks later he was laid off from his job of 6+ years, right at the beginning of the recession. 2 years later and he finally has landed a good job!

It's been about 6 weeks now since he started working. The OAG finally sent out the withholding order to DH and his company which means BM got a copy too. YAY! So, here we go, I'm sure it's just a matter of days before she fills out the modification paperwork to have the CS reviewed to make sure she's getting her full 25% of his income.

Of course DH was paying 50% of his income to BM for 21 months of the 25 months he was unemployed! He FINALLY at month 16 requested a modification of the CS to a lower amount based on his unemployment income. This modification finally happened on month 21. What are the chances that BM will be as generous and allow him to pay the modified amount for a year+ before she requests an upward modification? Any takers on that bet???

I don't have a problem supporting the kids and I know that DH has an obligation to pay his support. My problems are with the fact that BM IS NOT REQUIRED to contribute anything. See, she has also been unemployed since before DH and I got married. She lives off of state aid and CS received from both my DH and another sucker she had a baby with about 3 years ago. Meanwhile when DH was out of work and giving her 50% of his income we still bought both SKIDS shoes, clothes, glasses/contacts, basketball registration. paid for their cell phones, etc.

His CS is likely going to increase from $475/month (which I know is not a ton for 2 kids but she gets every damn thing for FREE) up to about $1200/month. She's going to feel like she won the freaking lottery!! It's certainly not going to motivate her to get off her ass and find a job! I know it's wrong to feel this way but it irritates me to no end that while she's hanging out at the community pool all summer with her kids I'll be working 10 hour days away from my boys to make sure we can get caught up on the past 2 years of bills and repairs/replacements that have been put off for the past two years while money was so tight. Plus I have one that needs braces and since I DO WORK, he won't be getting them for free through Medicaid like my SKIDS did.

The only light at the end of my tunnel is the fact that my SKIDS are 13 & 12. That means only SIX MORE YEARS and then what is she going to do when the money stops? She has no retirement, no real job skills, no potential to land a sugar daddy for herself. She will be 46 years old by then, I hope she saves and invests wisely!

My husband and I have discussed that he does make enough that I could stay home if I wanted to (and he has offered) but I just can't do it. I'm terrified of going through another layoff in his industry and us NOT having my income to fall back on. Plus I want to have the extras that we can afford with me working.

Thanks for the space to vent.....I'm sure I'll be back.....as soon as I get that dreaded envelope in the mail. :sick:

Comments

Anywho78's picture

Why is your DH paying anything above the CO'd CS? That is the money he is meant to pay...she should be footing the remainder of the bill.

Can't say I blame you for wanting to keep your job...I'd do the same in that situation!

WifeVersion2.0's picture

He pays for things above what he pays in CS because if we don't then it doesn't get done! She was getting $1,000/month while she was working part time a few years back and my SS's teacher brought him a pair of tennis shoes from her son's closet because SS's shoes were in such bad shape. DH kept telling BM she needed to buy him shoes and she never did! My DH was completely embarrassed!

SD needed glasses we gave BM the insurance information in May so she could get it taken care of before school started.....we finally took care of it in September since she still hadn't found the time to get it done and that was while she was NOT working!

She's just worthless and if she's being paid to be a SAHM for the kids, and does her job WELL then that's one thing. But if being a mom is the only thing that's required of you on a daily basis and you still suck at it well then maybe you shouldn't be compensated for it! I know if I sucked at my job, I'd be relieved of my duties and the paychecks would cease. Too bad we can't fire her!

briarmommy's picture

I hate women like this they give all SAHM a bad name. People act like SAHM are lazy and incompetent and its because of women like her, I feel if since I stay home it is my responsibilty, job if you will, to take care of my home and kid to the very best of my ability and that includes my ss when he is here. Women like that are my pet peeve. I hope for your sake your CS doesn't go up to much. 1200 seems so excessive for 2 children, I know my daughter doesn't cost me 600 a month.....CS just seems a little ridiculous to me, these women would need a house and utilities even if they had no kids so why do there exs have to pay for that, Food, clothes, misc expences for the child I get, but its like these women arent; responsible to contruibute anything.

Still Have Hope's picture

I know it is frustrating right now. But take it from one who has made it to the end. My DH paid mega CS for 20 years. We watched while BM and hubby took vacations, bought new cars and the latest electronics, when neither was employed. Then the CS ended. BM's house is in foreclosure, phones are cut off, and car repossessed. They have no health insurance, no retirement and no work experience. She now works a minimum wage job that involves asking if you want fries with that. Sounds like in 6 years your BM will be right there with our BM.
Just hang in there and let time take care of BM for you.