I realized the other day, that every member of my family asks me to do things that they could easily do themselves, and I usually oblige. At the end of the day, my feet HURT from just the number of times I walk back and forth through the house cleaning, cooking and just doing things for family members.

I work a full time job and surely have just as much reason to be tired as they all do. In fact, I'm always the last to go to bed, due to making sure everything is laid out and ready for the next day.

It seems that whenever I do sit down, immediately something is wanted by someone, even if it's just the dog standing by the door wanting to go out.

Last night, "DH" asked me if I could get him some ice cream. I told him to get it himself. He was actually mad about it.
His excuse was that I was wearing his shoes, so he couldn't go out to the garage fridge where the ice cream is. He could have asked me to remove the shoes. He could have fetched a different pair as he has several in the same room we were in.

My son always asks me to cook him things that he's old enough to make. My daughter will not do anything I ask of HER, as in picking up toys so I can vacuum. With all of them, I'm always asked to find things, and am able to locate the lost item immediately, as it's usually in plain view.

No one in my home does anything without enlisting my help. I am tired of never being able to just relax for awhile.

I don't ask anyone to get me anything. I get up and do it myself. I'd feel spoiled, lazy, and embarrassed to ask another person to fetch things for me while I sit or lay around.

This morning, I wanted to make a rule. I said to my family, "Before you ask me to do something or help, ask your self if this is something you can do on your own. If the answer is yes, do not ask."

My DH got mad. He was dressing our mutual child in the outfit that I had laid out the night before. He claimed that I shouldn't have "asked" him to dress her because I could do that myself. Ummmm, no, that's not what I meant. That child is a mutual responsibility. He is not doing me a favor by dressing her while I get ready for work before I drive her to school. He didn't have to leave the house that morning and had no reason to not be helping. I love how I find a way to advocate for myself without yelling, being rude, even raising my voice, and he still finds a way to get mad and act stupid, pretending what I want is not obvious and fair.

I will continue refusing to wait on them. I will continue saying, "You can do it yourself" when they ask for these kinds of favors, but I expect to hear that back from DH whenever the rare occasion comes that I need something from him.