My sister
This is more of a family problem but I thought I could ask here because here there are many step parents who could have faced a situation like this.
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This is more of a family problem but I thought I could ask here because here there are many step parents who could have faced a situation like this.
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I'm a step daughter. I really
I'm a step daughter.
I really like my stepmother and I think she likes me back. She's nice and we have fun together. My mother also likes my stepmother, they even hang out, and stuff like that, and she never badmouths her or dad, they even all hang out with my mom's partner. And our parents have never given us a reason or suggestion to turn against the other one, so this isn't related to that.
My sister hates our step mother. And that's a long story, a situation that I tried to fix but I couldn't. She hates her for NO REASON at all.
And whenever I do something nice for stepmother, she gets angry at me, saying that I'm a traitor and that I'm on "their side", while no one is creating any sides but my sister.
I know that her behavior really hurts my dad and stepmom, but it even hurts my mom that her daughter is being like that.
And now my sister is trying to make me choose, and that's not something I want to do.
I love my sister because I know having her means I'll have someone for the rest of my life, but I don't want to ruin my relationship with my stepmother just because my sister can't get over herself.
How can I keep a relationship with both of them and stop my sister from blaming me? I want her to know that me being good to stepmom has nothing to do with my relationship with her and that she's always on the first place.
I thought maybe someone here had this problem in their stepfamily, so if anyone has advice... :?
♥
Really, your sister just
Really, your sister just needs to grow up.
Is your sister your younger
Is your sister your younger sister? Just curious. I would guess she's just an angry person in general, for whatever reasons, depression, insecurity, who knows, and she needs an affordable target, your stepmother. She can't afford to be too angry at her bio parents or even you, because she has love for you all, but since she has no love for your stepmom, your sister can afford to direct her anger towards stepmom.
Why she's like this, I would have no idea. Just a guess, though.
We're twins. She's not
We're twins.
She's not usually angry, I'm the angry one and the trouble maker in the family. She's usually the calm, nice one. This is why it confuses me and I don't know how to deal with it.
Oh, wow. Well, I'm stumped.
Oh, wow. Well, I'm stumped. Maybe if she'd be willing to see a therapist. I feel bad for her, she is hurting herself the most with her anger. She may just have to work through it.
Your sister has the problem
Your sister has the problem here. Hearing what you said, I would pick the SM if she wants to play that card. Don't worry though she will come back to you when she gets over herself. Its a control thing and she does not want to share you, show her that you don't play like that and show her that you are strong with or without her and know that it is her choice to be let down if you choose SM but she asked for it. Independence can go a long ways in situations like yours. Not to mention, lets say that you chose your sister bc of the guilt card, what message do you think your sister would get from that? She is just trying to control you on this, don't fall for it.
I have a relationship with my
I have a relationship with my dad and SM. My sisters don't. They can not get past the divorce and blame SM and my dad for everything. My mom was culpable as well, but they don't see that. They have been married over 15 years now. Get over it. They won't and I refuse to have that kind of hate for my Dad and his wife. I do not discuss anything I do with my sisters about my dad. It works better that way. My father has tried with my sisters and about 7 years ago stopped trying. Now he focuses his attention on my son and doesn't recognize their children. They brought that on themselves.
You just don't discuss anything you do with your SM with your sister and that stops a lot of the drama....