No FDH, we cannot trade weekends with BM so SHE can take SS9 to the event I bought tickets for months ago. Nope, sorry.
SS9 is really into a particular toy and there is a kid event themed around that toy in our town next weekend. I have known about this for months, brought it up to FDH, bought tickets to take SS9 and BS13 but we were keeping it a surprise.
All of a sudden tonight, BM saw an advertisement for the event and called FDH asking him to trade this weekend for next so she can take him to the event. This is because she knows he will LOVE it! FDH told BM we already had plans, but not what they were and she went off saying that she should have priority over any plans we might have because she is his MOTHER and she really wants to take him. FDH is trading a day with her next week to fly to a funeral. Now she is saying she won't trade. Well so what, then SS9 will stay at one of my family members house with BS13, no big deal.
BM has started a campaign of calls, text and emails regarding this. FDH is starting to crack. He asked if it would be so bad to trade with her or let her come with us. I DON'T WANT TO HANG OUT WITH HER AND I AM TAKING MY SON TOO!
So no FDH, we can't trade and she can't come, sorry. I did say they are having the same event both days of our weekend, if she wants to take him so bad and FDH wants to let him go, she can take him back the second day.
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Crazy, right? She will flip
Crazy, right? She will flip her shit when she finds out our plans are to take him to the event. }:)
Sorry but I totally don't
Sorry but I totally don't understand why you can't tell her that you already bought tickets. She is probably upset the most because she thinks her son is missing out on that event- so why can't you tell her that you guys had the same thought and therefore got tickets?? In this way she knows he gets to go at least! Why making it a secret?
I don't know what your BM is
I don't know what your BM is like but this BM *may* get worse if she finds out that dad and SM have managed to take ss someone "first"?!
Mine was like this anyway, she found out we were discussing taking ss someplace and she went out and bought the tickets first and then stopped access for a month to ensure we couldn't take him!! She would go apesh*t if ss loved his gifts here better than hers - yes she had an mentality of a two year old!
Perhaps this is the case here?!!
WTH is your husband thinking?
WTH is your husband thinking? I'm mad and it's not even my deal!
You should never have to give up events because she wants to share with them instead of you sharing it.
Would it help to remind DH of all the times she has had the important events and you and him haven't?
Once upon a time, I would
Once upon a time, I would have told her and even invited her to come with. But then she decided she wanted FDH back and started acting a fool. She took a brief hiatus early this year stating it was her new year's resolution but began the crazy again when she found out we are getting married. She has deliberately sabotaged events, presents and otherwise shown her ass. I don't want to deal with it. If I wasn't taking my son too and FDH wanted to let her take SS9, it would be annoying but not my call.
However, I am taking my son, I bought the tickets and there will be hell to pay if FDH lets her come. The tickets are good for both days, we were only planning on one as we have party to go to for a member of my family on Sunday. So I told FDH that if he would like to let her take SS9 back for the second day on Sunday, I have no issue and they can even use our tickets. But I don't want to deal with her and I am not going to have my plans tossed aside for her. Fuck that!
However, I strongly suspect
However, I strongly suspect that she will not take the offer because she will want to be there to see his reaction "first".
My own opinion (not that it
My own opinion (not that it matters at all) is fdh should tell BM that y'all bought tickets months ago for the event, she can take him the next day, if that's not good enough, then tough titties. UNLESS she's a bitch that will keep SS from coming for his visitation, which then it may be better to say nothing other than "we have plans, no". But what if she doesn't let SS come anyway if she can't take him first? IDK but I just *think* if it were me as a BM, knowing SS was going somewhere he would enjoy would be all I wanted, sure I would rather take him myself but its not about me. Of course, *i* put my kids happiness first, I know that's not at all every BM's priority.
Either way, I totally agree SHE should not get to trade weekends for something y'all have already got planned.
They have joint custody with
They have joint custody with a 50% parenting time split. So in our state, it's not visitation, it's his custodial time and the police would enforce the order if she tried to refuse to let him come.
I didn't tell FDH he can't tell her about the tickets, he just didn't because she will go on and on about how it's not "fair" that she has to miss out on his "first" reaction. I would not put it past her to show up anyway and look for us, she's done that in the past. I hope not because this is a big event so it would not be too easy to just run into us. And again, it's her own damn fault that she has burned her bridge, so IDK what she misses out on. I don't want to be anywhere near her or her drama.
Hey thanks for listening to
Hey thanks for listening to me vent. Sometimes this crap just gets to you, ya know? I know whatever happens will not be the end of the world, but I hate feeling like I can never relax because who knows what the next drama will be. It would be nice to just be able to make a plan with our family w/o BM being able to interfere.
I don't get why bms seem to
I don't get why bms seem to think they get the right to take the kids to everything first! Geez if you want to do things with your kid then get off your ass and make plans instead of waiting til the last min!
And don't the dad get to have some things he gets to do or take them to first? Its not all about mom getting the firsts with them!
For some reason (Family Court
For some reason (Family Court System), there is a belief out there that moms trump dada.
I saw something on FB that said:
You had them in your womb for 9 months and pushed them out so you could have them in your lives.
On the other hand, I had to deal with your psychotic ass just to have them in mine! That was a lot longer suffering.