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SO issues

young but wise's picture

So as of right now, I work full time, and SO stays home with SS5 and DD5m. My problem is that i used to plan things with my friends and family or just me time while he was at work on weekends. It worked out well because we had the maximum amount of time together. Now that he is not working, i have no time for that! Every time I say i am going to do something i either get "do you have to? I really wanted to hang out with you" or "fine, but hurry up" or both. So i either don't do it or i don't have fun while i do it because I'm worried about how long i am gone. Any one else have this problem? I brought it up tonight and ended up fighting. Ugh

Comments

AngeLily's picture

Yes, not the same situation but I do understand. My advice would be to make sure you do something- just the two of you - regularly. Date night or whatever. Not sure why some don't understand that sometimes people need to have time for themselves too. For me, as long as there is some "we" time, Alone, no kids, dh doesn't become that clingy person that makes me cringe and I have time to myself without 20 questions or feeling guilty because he wants my time too.

StickAFork's picture

I didn't think mothers of 5 month olds had "me time."

If you're at work all week, and want to have "me time" on the weekends, when are you mothering your infant?

young but wise's picture

That's the thing. For example, on Monday i wanted to bring BD5m to one of my really voids friends house. She came to see us in the hospital but hadn't seen either of us since. She had been bugging me for a while to see BD so i figured we could go over there for a while. I invited SO but he really didn't want to go... But he also didn't want me to. Said he really thought the four of us could spend some family time together. That is all we do. I don't hang it with friends... This would be the first time i have even seen a friend since i had the baby. I by no means want to have time just to myself. I love spending every minute i can with my blended little family... I just need to do something other then watch Spongebob and play games. I want to watch a real show sometimes, or show off my baby girl. I have never had something i have between so proud to show off before. I can easily have me time even if i bring BD with. She can be there for all of my me time. I just don't always want to stay home with her. The boots could for sure come with as well. I would actually love then too... I just want to DO something that interests me with the people i love. Both friends and family.

AngeLily's picture

Don't feel guilty or selfish for wanting to go out and do things. There is nothing wrong with wanting to get out and do things you enjoy, especially with family. My guess is you were fairly outgoing and social before the baby was born and you would like just a little of that back. What would dh like to do? (Also assuming he is less social than you)

young but wise's picture

That he is. He worked in a bar for much of his life so now he enjoys the quiet laid back life. He would rather us all stay home and watch tv or play games together.