Okay I realize Xmas is still a few months away But this is something I have been thinking about since last Xmas.

Background:

I work with 1 other girl in my office and our boss is in another state.

The girl I work with....she has a husband that basically refuses to work. He is a lazy bum. Currently he is trying to get SS for some illness, but has been denied already (multiple times). He is able to work side jobs on occasion, all under the table of course.

My co worker has had to pick up a second job to cover the household bills.

Through conversation I can "guess" that co worker has about the same outgoing regular household expenses regarding mortgage, utilities, etc I also know we have the same salary- as we got a raise last year and it was the same for us- so that we were at the same yearly amount.

Co worker is often broke. I have really questioned how they are still so broke, even though she is working 2 jobs. When I was a single mom I was able to pay all my bills and complained way less about being broke then her and I was making about $15,000 less then I am now.

Co worker imo blows her money. They eat out a lot. They buy a lot of extra stuff. Stuff that I think if you are "so broke" that you wouldnt be buying. Even when they are eating at home, they are eating good food. When I compare it to when I was single mom and trying to save and pay bills and get myself out of debt, they are eating like kings.

From what I get, she works works works and they just blow money and never try to get themselves out of debt. Yet she always is the "victim" because she is always so broke.

So here is my issue. Our boss sends us a very nice Xmas gift every year. Very nice. She has also sent us other things throughout the year-gourmet cookies, chocolate covered strawberries.

The first year, it was our first year with the boss and wasn't expecting the gift, etc so we didnt get her anything. (I did send a Xmas card prior to getting the gift).

Last year, I was like we have to get her something. Co worker said she was too broke to chip in. Okay.. whatever... so I went out and found a gift. It was hard as boss can probably buy whatever she wants herself and lives in another state so not sure what gift cards would be good, and we were kind of broke at the time, but I still made sure we had a gift to send to her.

I signed both of our names to the gift and co worker was appreciative of that.

I am positive that this year, when I bring up a gift for the boss, I am sure co worker's response is going to be the same- I am broke.

Imo now... I am thinking... okay not too broke to eat out... not too broke to buy that make up on sale...not too broke to attend that festival....

I thought about sending a gift on my own, since I will be the one paying for it. Why should I include her name? I am beginning to feel like, "I only help those who help themselves".

But if I dont include her name, it seems kind of rude and almost like rubbing it in her face.

I know this is kind of petty, but it stressing me out a little because I do want to make sure I can budget for a decent gift for the boss.

Thoughts?