My Ex's mother (I will refer to as ExMIL, even though ex and I were never married) has a summer cabin in Canada. We are in the USA.

Summer cabin is in a VERY rustic area. If I understand correctly, bordering on some federally protected land.

Cabin has only solar power and hot water. Rain water catchment system. Outhouse.

To get to the cabin, you have to park your car, then travel another 3+ miles via foot then row boat, then climb up a mountain.

Ex MIL has encountered many wild animals at her cabin. She uses a whistle to scare them off. No gun.

Ex MIL wants BS9 to come and visit her for a few weeks this summer at her cabin. BS will turn 10 during the summer.

I told her no, for this summer and she is pretty upset with me.

I feel that at BS's age, he isnt going to enjoy the experience as much as he would in the next few years.

My BS is a normal kid these days who likes to play on the electronics and watch TV. I think after the first few days or even week he is going to be very bored. I dont even think ExMIL is prepared what it takes these days to entertain a kid BS's age.

They are basically stuck in a cabin. While ExMIL may think its fun, I doubt that BS will think its fun. Hell I dont even think it would be fun after a week or so. I know that ExMIL spends a lot of the time in the cabin entertaining guests who come from out of the country. (Mostly Germany where she is from). They do adult stuff. Drink, talk, etc. She isnt used to having to deal with a small child in this environment.

There is no way for BS to communicate with me for 2+ weeks. This is something that would be VERY hard on me. I am a worrier, so I know I will spend 2+ weeks totally stressed about BS and if he is safe.

I cant even imagine Ex being able to take the time off of work to go on this trip. Hell I dont even know if he can get a passport to go out of the country.

And if he was able to get a passport and get time off work, I'm almost a little resentful that he would be able to take this time when he is $11,000+ behind on CS. Priorities ya know?

I'm not sure who else would take this trip with BS, if his dad doesnt go. Possibly his aunt. (dad's sister). I wouldnt feel comfortable with it being just ExMIL and BS, in case there was an emergency.

Ex and EXMIL get BS all pumped up about Canada and always tell BS "If your mom says its okay" which in turn makes me look like the bad guy if I say no.

But I'm 99% sure that BS's excitement comes from the fact that he thinks he is going on this great adventure with his dad. And its most likely that his dad wouldnt even be able to come on the trip.

I will also add that I dont 100% trust Ex's judgment, especially in this setting. He is the "fun" dad. Hey lets swim out to the ocean with the sharks, it will be a good story to tell. Hey let's try these wild berries, it will be just like we read about and it will be so much fun. (Catch my drift) Ex is like a kid in many ways.

Am I just being a paranoid mom and coming up with lots of excuses? Or are these legit?

I know when BS is a little older, its going to be a WONDERFUL experience for him, but right now... not sure.

I do want to clarify- BS being away from electricity has NO real weight in my decision. I'm all for the kid getting adventures and he does PLENTY of that. He is going to an overnight camp this summer that is zero electricity, etc.

I'm just being realistic that for 2+ weeks in basically an isolated place at age 10, may be a lot for him at this age. ExMIL has different ideas how this trip is going to go, while I know BS and think at this age it may be a little much.