My Step Son and Porn
This boy I just don't get he has been grounded many times watching porn in the last 7 months! Just moments ago I jsut went into the kitchen to get my kool aid for the nite and he's in the kitchen on the computor watching this mess! The boy ain't got no friends, he ain't a bad lookin dude, he got a cell phone but it don't ring....... help. Me to understand ..... somebody help! He's dad has taken the computor away from him, he has talked him..... what is the damn deal the boy ain't got a girl friend and from the looks of things will never have one.... why does he keep disobeying us about this....... he don't go no where he is at home day in and day out, its ridicules he will be 18 in august.... any takers out there....... oh lawddd
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Testosterone overdrive. Put a parental control block on the PC
"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere
That's about all you can do. He's gonna be 18, but that doesn't mean he can have it in your home. Period.
In the past (before widespread internet) it was common for Mom's to find Playboy, Hustler, etc. hidden in their sons room. I raised two sons, and I still don't understand it. But there it is. I went thru it with my son...and he was active, had tons of friends, always had a gf. But there's something about that online crap alot of young guys seem to find fascinating.
Wish I had more helpful advice.
bewitched
The crazy thing is he don't have any friends male or female! Not one he is just freakin weird! He is not normal! How can I talk to him about this here we thought we were clear about this. Its like now he is obsessing over it. And ain't trying to bust a grape! Lol
OK,OK
Kevin The Man says let him have ONE outlet to his fantasies. Encourage respect for women, show him how these women will never respect themselves and you MAY take an edge off of an unbelievably sharp drive. You have to see it from his point of view, he wants to touch and cannot possibly be in that scenario, yet, he will develop, with your help, a strong respect for women and their power over, us as men, our sex drive. Be open about sexuality.
He sounds like a boy that is infatuated with the Hershey cooking chocolate in the top shelf of the cupboard. He wants it so bad until it is within his reach and then he will balk at the flavor. (that sounds like a recipe for gay but it is not.)
He will trip upon the same troublesome road as every man that has ever tried to cop a feel, HOWEVER, with this outlet that he is so passionate about he will gain the knowledge of passion and how it is a great character builder for men that learn from the lesson. Watch out for obsession which is dangerous for him to grasp now and will affect him later in life.
My woman calls me a rake, because I have plowed through many lawns, still, she see's me as an experienced lover that has both passion and drive because of my past.
Enforce respect now, give him space (it is a natural thing), and promote condoms later when he does become sexually active.
I wish you the best and remember, when it comes to men, our little head thinks first.
Kevin The Man
Not healthy...... kevin...... as long as he is my house
Oh hell no...NOT NORMAL or HEALTHY..when he doesn't talk to anyone and has no friends..... this boy lives in my home and he will respect it! He does not earn that right to watch things that are deemed inapproiate especially when he lives in a home with his two little step sisters.... I have told him that he got one more time for me to accidentally stumble on this crap while he is surfing it on the net..... 7 months this has gone on....this boy is just sad as much effort as he put in to find porn with that same effort he could make a friend..... . I let his father handled, well.he didn't handle it cuz he's doing it again.... now I'm gonna embarass his azzz, no more Mr Nice Guy.... this will get ugly......
you may
1. block sites from him, this is sorta technical but not impossibly so
or
2. enable a password for your computer to boot up
it is normal for a kid to be curious but he's almost 18 and should respect you. my SS has gotten curious that way at 14 but DH being a computer guru put a quick stop to it without a word.
an almost 18 kid can find his own porn outside your house.
we did something like this
I made each of the kids there own sign on and I am the admin of my computer and have a password, the kids don't. I didn't do it to block porn I did it cause my BD13 was always on Runescape and did nothing else. Block away!
Boys watch porn.
Period. I don't like it, I dont like what it teaches them about women, I hate that it exists because I hate how women get exploited by it.
But 99.9% of straight guys either watch it now or have watched it in the past. You can forbid it in your home, but even if you think the kid is weird in other respects, he's totally normal in this one. I would say he needs to respect that he can't do it in your house, but don't make him feel like a pariah for doing it. Most adult men, if they were honest, will tell you they do the same.
BB
- You are not second best, you are not second class. Do not ever let anyone make you feel that way. (2Bloved)
i will make him feel....
At this point I have no choice but to make him feel like a pariah! His dad and I have warned him on too many occasions to count.... and he doesn't listen... so we should just let it slide...... hell to no..... what if one of the younger chidren accidentally saw that crap that he was looking at..... I have certain things that I have zero tolerances for and that's one of them... I have certain standards and expectations that I hold all kids and skids to.... and I refuse to accept it just because little ray across the street does it I should just chalk it up to that, oh that's normal, no big deal..... and we wonder why we have damn freakin perves and peds in the world..... there is too many other things that he could focus his time energy on like, how tryin to get a drivers liscense, pickin a college, or makin a friend, volunteerin, how about reading a book not a comic book, graduating highschool, better yet how about keepin his ass out of trouble...... just keepin it real!
LMAO!!!
99.9% huh...where did you get this statistic?!
"I child proofed my whole house, but they STILL get in!"
Ha ha!
Actually, my husband said that to me once while we were talking about porn and its effects. He basically said, "Any guy who tells you he doesn't like watching porn is lying to you, or is so sexually repressed as to be pathological." Perhaps overstating it, but the point is well taken.
BB
- You are not second best, you are not second class. Do not ever let anyone make you feel that way. (2Bloved)
First I think that if he has
First I think that if he has no friends, maybe his dad needs to have a better relationship with him and find out why...by now I think that he needs to be evaluated...he may have some issues that you and his dad obviously are not going to be able to deal with at this point...very sad...
As far as porn, lots of boys do this...it is part of being a boy...that doesn't mean you have to like it or allow it in your house, but it's part of many boy's lives...
As far as women being exploited, that's a different subject. Women are not exploited...they CHOOSE money over self-esteem and well, that's what happens with women's liberation...sad, but true...
Well Your Home, Your Rules BUT
Teens watch porn. Yes, I know this is a shock, but it has been going on for many years. Next question is can we stop it? Uh, no. Now, for the most important question: Do we really want to? Is porn really all that unhealthy? Let's see..Can it get someone pregnant? No Can he contract an STD from it? Hmm...No. So again, he's about to be 18 which is a legal adult anyway. He is using a physically safe and non binding form of sexual outlet at a reasonably normal age for such curiosity. As a team, you and your husband may want to sit down and weigh all these things out and then decide if keeping him away from porn is really the best idea. I would say there are far worse things to be concerning yourself over than this probably, considering his age...
"Blood doesn't matter. Love is the tie that binds..."
on my second computor
Its ain't even about is it physically healthy or best safe sex practices..... there is of course more than that... its about him destroying the computors with the damn viruses we are now on our second computor.... so of course I could give a damn about what the boys wants.... do I care if all teenagers do it ummm NOPE.... they don't live at my address I only care about. What I allow at my home.... so should I write a letter to school board to please allow my ss to view porn on the school conmputors ..... its vital to his health... bump that!
.... why decide if keeping him away from Pornography
I cant even wrap my mind around that, deciding whether or not to keep my ss away from porn is really the best idea..... That statement along sounds crazy as hell.....what is this a peanut butter and jelly sandwich...or a pacifier......
Legal adults don't live in my house, you find your own house, and pay your own bills and do whatever you want then.... But if you live under my roof and don't pay for shhhh... then you do as I say or get the HELL OUT!!! Its just that simple...
If you can't do it at school why should you be allowed to do it at home.. granted its the inn thing, every teenager is and has been doing it.... wwwhattttttt..
We as parents should just accept any ole thing the world throws our way, with no justification or validity right or wrong... just accept it and make allowances for our children with no thought process in mind....Just to justify a wrong...
Or is it wrong....but it's not all that wrong! .Its just Pornography!!.. Its just a little white lie... it won't do any harm.....just a little white
lie...
So what is the approach to keeping the kids on the straight and narrow.. what is the golden rule... do whatever whenever, however...
I raised 2 boys 16 and 19
and an 11 y/0 will be there soon.
I have battled porn many time, I don't know
what to tell you, I't is "normal" in some sence
but yes it can become an addiction quickly.
I tried to control the computer as much as possible.
They say boys will be boys but I know exactly what
your going threw,I hated the fact that my hard earned money for a computer was being used for that, just take the computer away if it keeps up. thats what I did.
if they don't look at it on the computer rest asure
you will find videos mags,and DVDs in his room.
I looked under my kids beds once and just saw BOOBS.
no face,no body, just BOOBS printed out on paper?????????
DANG IT!!!
I posted a reply and I got a Ooops! this link apears broken...
I spent a while on it too...
Frustrated!