I'm glad you are here. It's a scarey thing to be actually stalked by the BM, I know it all to well as todays events prove. I just wanted to say here in your blog and let you know that when I get home tonight I'll respond to you. I need to give you my undivided attention but my own stalker BM has my mind jaded right now!

~All you need is Faith, Trust, and a little bit of Pixie Dust~

To begin WELCOME to our Family!!!
Now as far as the vaction, if it were me I would be worried as my SD14 tells BM everything about us. She is a little over the top with everything she does, But how do you not take her? If it were me and H said she is going then just lay down the ground rules, if she gets out of hand, then he will be the one staying behind with SD in the hotel room as to not ruin the trip for everyone.
As a SM you feel compelled to do for your own kids but she is also a part of the family and how can you actually find it in your heart to not take her?
Don't get me wrong there are times I wish for one minute I could run without SD, a vaction whatever, but then as I remember she is too a part I try my hardest to remember that she is human and not perfect. Alot of Skids get grilled by BM because they are afraid you might either love the child to much or be mean but either way you lose believe me... Just try putting down the ground rules if H wants her to go that he is responsible to keep SD in line. Will BM be okay with SD going with you guys anyway??? Or will it be a fight to the end?
~~It's been said that parenting is the toughest job in the world. Wrong! It's the second toughest: Stepparenting wins hands down.~~

She'll ruin it, I am sure.

The rest of you can go on vacation without a member, who would ruin it for everyone else - don't feel guilty, you are allowed to get away too!

"It's funny how dogs and cats know the inside of folks better than other folks do, isn't it?"
- Eleanor H. Porter (1868 - 1920), 'Pollyanna', 1912

It sounds like you are going through a very tough time right now.

I believe she gets the lying from BM. I'm judgmental on that though because my own BS14 lies about EVERYTHING....and so does his father. So I don't have any advice there, I can't even get him to stop.

I know this isn't what you want to hear.........but you really have to put yourself in your husbands shoes right now. Yes SD is a PITA (pain in the azz), and yes she lies, and YES she will report everything back to BM.......but you guys are going to disneyworld. Man, that will really hurt her if you don't take her I'm afraid.

I don't know if you have any way around it unless you just flat out say no. But to be totally honest, I don't think that will sit well and will cause problems in your relationship.

What I would advise is to sit her down with your DH, type up a list of things that is expected of her, and make her sign it after you guys have discussed it to the fullest. Do it with all the kids so DH doens't "think" you are picking on SD........

I know, she's 6. What good is that going to do. But you could put punishments in there. Like if she does #1 then she will have to sit by and watch her sisters ride 3 rides while she will have to sit them out.

I know, again shes 6 but I think that is reasonable. I think a six year old KNOWS right from wrong.

I hope that helps..........if not chalk it up to me being a idiot! I've been one today for sure! LOL

~All you need is Faith, Trust, and a little bit of Pixie Dust~

Somehow I missed her age being only 6 - I think that is a great time for Disney. Now I think you do have to take her.

"It's funny how dogs and cats know the inside of folks better than other folks do, isn't it?"
- Eleanor H. Porter (1868 - 1920), 'Pollyanna', 1912

have to take her. Like someone is forcing you.....it's just that if you don't trouble is on the horizion. Plus she would be so hurt. I hate for that to happen, though she has hurt you, she is just 6. I'm sorry if I wasn't there for you in the way you wished.....but please know that I do have your best interest at heart!

And yes Hopeless.....it is funny. We all here are like brothers from another mothers! LOL

~All you need is Faith, Trust, and a little bit of Pixie Dust~

If the BM was sexually abusive, it's no wonder this girl has issues (being a victim of childhood abuse myself I know how she feels, if she was the victim). I know sometimes the skids are so aweful we want to write them off and move on but we can't. Fact is, she is just a kid and being that messed up you can only blame the BM for putting her through all of this mess.
My skids used to report A LOT of things to their mom; like how THEY busted through my door while I was changing and we were accused by BM of being pervertive, or (this is my favorite) because my hubby has no problem holding me in his arms and telling me how beautiful I am my SD6 wants too much attention from boys so they can hold her and tell her how beautiful she is (which we do with all 5 kids)....BM freaked out and said that wasn't appropriate for the kids to see... which of course is just her way of saying she's jealous.
Bottom line, you don't want DH to feel like crap on a day that is supposed to be fun b/c his daughter couldn't be there. I know that sometimes skids have a way of ruining everything, but if you're a family you probably shouldn't leave anybody behind, especially when they're that young.