Does your husband have proof, reciepts of the support he pays to her for the children? If so, he needs to have those on hand. It might not be such a bad thing to pay the child support through the state because then you will no longer have to deal w/BM. Whatever you do, co-operate w/the state. What will end up happening, is the state will determine the amount of child support to be payed, based upon how much your husband makes. It might end up being LESS than what he pays to her personally now. You never know, & the good thing is, your husband will make the payment directly to the state & then the state will issue her the money. You don't ever have to deal with her again as far as handing her money. depending upon what state you live in, she might've screwed herself over royally by making this move. I know that right now in California (where I live) they have cut back welfare because of our present budget crisis. They've even cut back on the dollar amount of foodstamps. Also, since she is collecting through the state, it would be very difficult for her to try to seek MORE money. Her amount may stay the same & not ever increase till the kids are 18. Oh! And she can't come & ask you guys for "EXTRA$" during the month either. She gets what they give her & that's it. And hubby won't be required to do anymore than what he pays the state. Hope this helps.

Sorry, I don't have advice. I think that there is a very real possibility that you could be paying her child support on top of what you're already paying. We were going through the same thing, and still are to an extent. Bio mom had my SD on the free lunch program, WIC, and Medi-Cal from what we understand. We had the child probably more than half the time, and paid for all of the child's expenses while she lived with us. Bio mom still collected close to $500 a month. There was one particular month that she had SD for 4 days total.

Finally, we decided that enough was enough. We tested bio mom... sort of. We made her accountable for keeping SD in her care for a full 2 weeks, as the schedule was supposed to be a 2 week on 2 week off schedule and she never followed through with keeping SD for her full 2 weeks. She caved, and after that she GAVE SD to us, and told my fiance that he no longer had to pay CS. But get this, she still would "appreciate" it if we would give her gas money when she has to come to our town to visit with SD, on the rare occasion that she does. She is crying boo hoo about having to pay for her own gas to visit her child and to feed and cloth her for maybe a few days each month.

Do your DH and bio mom have a 50/50 custody arragement, and bio mom just isn't interesting them half the time? Or was child support determined by the arrangement that you currently have? If that's the case, my guess is that because your incomes are so dramatically different your DH will probably have to pay way more than his fair share according to the state... they just want him to make up for the amount of assistance bio mom is collecting. It is unfair, I suggest you speak to an attorney.

If not that's the first thing todo - if it's a 50/50 splint most times you won't have to pay child support but if there is nothing legal and binding inhe court system then yes she can get you for child support whether or not you pay for 50% of everything.

Get everything in writing and legalized and documented with the courts

BM should not be allowed to apply for benefits for skids whens he does not have primary custody of children. DH is entitled to call Human Services and find out if his children are receiving benefits and he can supply court document to show she does not have primary custody and therefore is not eligible to receive cash aid. Only the parent with primary physical custody can apply for government benefits...you can also have it written into the court order that neither parent can apply for government benefits without the written consent of both parents.

I had my son when I was 19 and found myself on welfare the amount of child support I was receiving from his BD was less than I was able to collect from welfare (I was in college completed my AA got off, got a full time job and went back to college for my B.A at nights). Point being the county did collect the child support on my son's behalf but because I was receiving welfare the support they collected went to repay welfare...minus the first 50 which came to me.

Also if there is a current order to pay child support proof needs to be provided to Human Services because the amount of aid BM is receiving is based on total household income and if she is not reporting this as income she can be charged with welfare fraud.

Hope this helps...

Who is supposed to provide medical coverage for the children? Have they not had medical this entire time?

the only way to really avoid all this CS/welfare/free lunch crap is to go for full custody...my DH paid for EVERYTHING for skids while BM sat on her ass and collected welfare, food stamps,,,etc...she would send kids to school with no lunch, unbeknownst to DH, until the school finally called and then he pre-paid for school lunches. Unfortunately, no matter how much u and yur DH pay, you cannot control how the this type of BM runs her life...you cannot count on her to do the right thing as a mother, so yur choices are to pay, pay, pay....and then pay again when she doesn't do what she is supposed to do, or go for full custody. Its funny how when we got full custody, BM has disappeared completely and does not contribute a penny to her children. Of course, full custody is a HUGE job....but for us, it was the only way......

"You can catch more flies with honey than you can with vinegar"

same thing.

BM is on every state asst she can be and is pocketing our money instead of spending it on child care which the state order says its for. BUT if we take her to court we risk them upping our cs, from $24 to more since she is not working and on disability. So we have to sit back and get screwed and let her keep our money every month. My calming factor though is that one day ss will be old enough to see what a pathetic piece of crap his mother is and will realize that she was too lazy to support her own child, instead dh and i worked hard to give him the things he has!

in regards to her now working by choice? I know here in WA we took BM to court because she wasn't paying her measly child support of $130 a month (it was more of a principal thing than money) and the judge told her she had to find a job and had to prove that she was looking and if she didn't that all her state welfare would be revoked.

Check in your states CS statutes. I was reading up on mine because we are getting ready to fight the good fight soon too. Bm is the same way, on every type of assistance there is and our CS payment is higher because she REFUSES to work. We have the kids 60%.

Anyway, I found in the CS info on the state website, that if it can be proven that one of the parties is not working by their own will, then the CS can be adjusted to their potential earning. It allowed for a parent to not work IF the child was under 3 and was one of the children in the disputed case (your DH's in this case).

BM uses the excuse of having another kid for not working. That kid starts kindergarten in a few weeks. She was previously in Head Start (pre-K, gov't funded program). There is no reason for her to not work at least part time.

Well, DH was always to stupid or chicken to call her out on it, but this time it will be different. I will be in court and armed with every shred of evidence/proof/receipt/sworn statement I can get my hands on. I refuse to pay that b*tch any more of our hard earned money.

At least putting her out of her children's misery will give the poor kids a chance at a decent life.

I would immediately file for sole physical and legal custody because of BMs documented inability to support the child. Make the argument in court that DH and you are willing, able and immediately ready to be 100% responsible for the financial, educational and residential support the kid. Also report her wilful fraudulent manipulation of the system and continue to report it until they drop her benefits and haul her to Court for Welfare and Medicare fraud.

Sorry for the passionate tag line but people who CHOOSE to take advantage of the system and turn their children in to victims just piss me off.

My Beautiful Wife was a single teen welfare Mom when I met her. She received WIC, food stamps, free medical insurance for her Son, and subsidized day care so that she could work and go to college. She rode the bus half way across town to drop her son (then 15mos old) at daycare, rode the bus back across town to her job as a secretary at a food bank, rode the bus back to her apartment then walked about a mile to campus to attend classes. She did not quit work so she could get more State and Federal support so she could focus on her toddler and school. She busted her ass to be SuperMom, an honor student and work to help support herself and her son.

She went on to complete a double major BS with honors, an MBA with honors and to become a CPA. She used the system as it is intended to be used. To help people help themselves. People who refuse to help themselves, perpetrate fraud against the system and turn children in to welfare checks and victims have no right to support or any other rights for that matter. IMHO

My high level SWAG estimate is that my Wife has paid more than a 1300% return on the welfare she dollars she consumed for that year in state and federal income taxes since she stopped her welfare benefits.

I wish I could get that kind of return on a financial investment. My wife did not milk the system she used it to help herself step up and create a good life for herself and her kid.

Grrrrrrrr! People like your Skids BM just need the Soprano treatment IMHO.

At minimum, BM should be in prison and her kids should have a chance of not having to be polluted by her victim and entitlement mentality.

Just my thoughts of course.

Good luck and best regards,

Success is rarely final. Failure is rarely fatal. It is character, courage and consistency of effort that count. Vince Lombardi (with some minor Rags modifications) To each according to their performance, screw Karl Marx. (Rags)

....if someone already said something close to this, but here is my two cents anyway!

My daughter is with her dad one more day every week than she is with me, and when I was out of work and applied for assistance, they told me that I could NOT have my daughter on my case. So maybe the BM is lying to the state about the amount of time she has the children. It is worth checking into.