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michiganmom's picture

Submitted by michiganmom on Tue, 08/11/2009 - 11:24am

So not sure how to go about this. I am not fond of my step children. I think that they use my husband and he doesn't see it. He alows them to run all over me, and I'm just basically a figure here in the house that everybody walks around or over. I have spent so much money on these kids and this family...it really upsets me....thre is so much to tell you......just need to move on..if I can't be happy I need to move on.....cut my loses....my step children really hate me and I can't find anything that I like about them. I am tired of picking up after them....and not having any support from my husband. This site is good...I'm not the only one who deals with this.

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belleboudeuse's picture

Submitted by belleboudeuse on Tue, 08/11/2009 - 11:27am

Glad you found the site.

Can you give us some more info? How long have you been married? Has the behavior of the stepkids changed toward you, or has it always been about the same? What does your H say/do when you talk to him about your concerns?

BB

- You are not second best, you are not second class. Do not ever let anyone make you feel that way. (2Bloved)

Sia's picture

Submitted by Sia on Tue, 08/11/2009 - 11:32am

to the club! Most all of us here have had those feelings at some point. Some of us have worked through it, others are just begining. I wish I would've found this site years ago when I was in critical need of support. It's not so bad now as my SDs are 20 and 17. We dont even see the 20 yo anymore and the 17 yo is living with us again, but being pleasant for a change. I am, of course, realistic to the fact that it will not stay this way, BUT I will enjoy it while it does.

Amazed's picture

Submitted by Amazed on Tue, 08/11/2009 - 11:33am

First of all...welcome! We need more details:)

The thing that impresses me most about America is the way parents obey their children. ~Edward, Duke of Windsor, Look, 5 March 1957

jojo71's picture

Submitted by jojo71 on Tue, 08/11/2009 - 11:34am

If they are young and IF your DH will cooperate, you have an opportunity to make a difference and nip things in the bud early on. If they are older, the best news I have for you is *hopefully* they will be grown and will move out soon...IF you can talk daddy bird into kicking them out of the nest by the time they're in their twenties!

In the meantime, post and vent here...it's very therapeutic and we'll all try to help!

artsymom's picture

Submitted by artsymom on Tue, 08/11/2009 - 5:39pm

Even if the kids are young, it does not matter if bm tells them to hate you, they are gonna hate you, my advice, hate them back

Abigail's picture

Submitted by Abigail on Tue, 08/11/2009 - 5:46pm

If BM tells them to hate you. But you can make them be civil, polite and respect you. My skids respect me because I have shown them that I have authority in the household. They also know I have a lot financial power. I have my own money and I have influence over what DH spends on them. Without the clear knowledge that you have power in this household, PAS'd skids will run over you and laugh while they are doing it. DH is key in getting skids to behave properly.

"Evil Stepmothers aren't born, it comes with the territory"

Crizzle's picture

Submitted by Crizzle on Tue, 08/11/2009 - 6:16pm

spending money on them and picking up after them. Leave it up to DH. Tell him to pick up after his disrespectful kids. You should not have to do something for someone who treats you this way. Being kids is no excuse for them or DH either. They need to learn respect. I am still working on this with my skids and I have disengaged. It is working wonders. DH is finally STARTING to get on the ball.

"If your going through hell, keep on going, don't slow down, if you're scared, don't show it, you might get out before the devil even knows you're there" -Rodney Atkins