SD12 thinks my sister is 'annoying'

So my FH and his kids and I were on vacation a couple weeks ago and SD12 I guess told her truth and said that she thought my sister (9 YO) was annoying. I was SOOO pissed! It's still bugging the hell out of me and I'm finding myself to be having more animosity and hatred toward SD! I'm still pissed at FH too for not really standing up for my sister or my family for that fact. If I could've been totally honest at that point in time I would've told SD ten ways that she's annoying to me! Yes, my sister is and probably can be annoying at times but SD hasn't been around her that often...so that's what makes me even more mad...how can SD judge so quickly?!?! There is a family picnic of mine that's coming up and I'm REALLY thinking about not inviting my FH and his kids because I just don't want his daughter around my sister. Which is really bad news because my SS9 and my brother (10 YO) really get along great. I'm stuck...what do you friends think?

Manda's blog
Log in or register to post comments

Comments

ok....

your sd is 12. Your sister is 9. OF COURSE a 12 year old is going to think a 9 year old is annoying. She's TWELVE, she is "sooooo cool" and to her, your sister is just pesky and little and not cool. Now, don't go getting all pissed at me for saying that because I'm not justifying SDs actions or words in ANY WAY. I still think she needs to be nice to your sister and treat her well I'm just trying to help you understand that as annoying as this is for you (it would bother me too),you have to see it from her side also instead of trying to protect your sister. As an example to show you it only hurts you and your relationship with FH to let this get to you so much: ChooChoo(BS7),Snowshyte(Sd11),DH and I went to the beach last year...well Snowshyte's cousins were there the boy is 13 and the girl is 10. ChooChoo was 6 at the time...they would walk away from him and go "hang out" trying to look cool while ChooChoo was left asking me why they don't like him. Then Snowshyte said to me, "We all think ChooChoo is annoying and immature." I was like "WHOA! You are such a little jerk snowshyte!!" BUT, I realized I understood how they felt no matter how rude and stupid it was. So we told the kids that while they may think ChooChoo is annoying, he IS A LITTLE BOY and they need to stop being mean and be a good example for him, ESPECIALLY snowshyte because he looks at her like a sister for the most part.

I hope you understand what I'm saying. I don't think your SD meant anything personal by this admission I just think she is at that stage where she's "too cool for the room" Know what I mean? I'd let it go. Don't exclude your FH and SD from the family picnic. Just be watchful for this ignorant behavior so you can correct SD when it happens. Don't wait for your FH to do it and don't be mad when he doesn't...he's typical honey! And remember it's all in the WAY you discipline your SD...say,"well SD I know you're much older than my sister but I'd really love it if you could just understand that she's little and she's gonna do stuff differently than you. It would be so awesome if you could at least treat her good even if you don't want to play with her."
Hope this helps.

The thing that impresses me most about America is the way parents obey their children. ~Edward, Duke of Windsor, Look, 5 March 1957

Totally agree with BBB

9 year olds ARE annoying to ANY 12 year old. lol I think you are just feeling protective of your baby sister with is totally natural. SD didn't say this directly TO your sister did she? If so, she should apologize to her...being mean isn't acceptable. But if she was just being honest to you or DH, just let it go...the 12 y/o is just being a 12 y/o.

As a CP SM 12-and-14-year-old girls,

I can safely say that your SD is not the only 12-year-old girl who thinks 9-year-olds are annoying. MY OSD 14 treated her own sister like that at times, and sometimes YSD acts like that towards my younger nieces and nephews.

What works for us is telling YSD that she doesn't have to love, like or play with my nieces and nephews, but she needs to be nice. Basically, what BBB said above- that we'd appreciate it if you'd be nice to the younger kids, even if you don't want to hang out with them.

Yes it does help...basiclly

Yes it does help...basically be the bigger person. It just hurts to hear something like that about a family member. Especially when I know that SD is a bully and FH can't see it... SD treats two of our neighbor girls like crap all the time. She will be "friends" with them when nobody else is around but when the neighbor girls are around (who are SD's age) and SD's 'real friends' are around she ignores the neighbor girls and treats them like nothing. That's what I don't want to expose my sister to...but I guess 'girls will be girls'.

i totally understand

Snowshyte is the SAME way...it's infuriating to be the only one who sees it when everyone else thinks she's some delicate,perfect,lily white angel. UGH!!! But, we can't control these girls...so why give ourselves wrinkles worrying about who they're being mean to? Obviously you need to correct SDs behavior around your sister, that should go without saying but other than that...who cares how SD treats other people if you can't fix it? As long as she is taught to respect you and your family, that's the only thing you should need be concerned by. It's only gonna give you wrinkles and gray hair babe! Just keep peace in your own head remembering that this sort of behavior might be great in SDs mind now but just wait til she gets to high school and college...those girls are gonna tear her up...can we say "rude awakening"?

The thing that impresses me most about America is the way parents obey their children. ~Edward, Duke of Windsor, Look, 5 March 1957

True BBB! I've always

True BBB! I've always thought was goes around, comes around. So I guess all I can hope for is that... I was told that when I was 9 years old and overweight so I can only teach my sister that (even though she's not overweight...just 'annoying')...

True BBB! I've always

I'll use it! Love that

I'll use it! Love that comeback! Thank you!

Hey manda

I am not trying to be a total nosey rosey but how old are you? You have a 9 year old sister and a 10 year old brother and your DH has a 9 yr old and a 12 year old so I was just thinking there must be a signifigant age difference there.

Don't answer if you don't want to. Just trying to get the full picture.

Having a baby does not make you a mother.

i was wondering also

I don't think age is a factor when determining how to handle the situation or the rules of the house and respect from Skids but I believe age is important to consider when reading how people handle situations differently. Of course, there are exceptions...you can have someone who is older yet handles the situation as though they're a selfish 18yr old and then have a 22yr old handle it with the wisdom of an older woman. But for the most part, it seems harder to deal with Skids the younger you are and the less relationship experience you've had. I have been with DH since I was 23...married when I was 25. I am A LOT better at handling snowshyte now that I'm 27 than I did when I was 23 and 24.

Hope that doesn't piss anyone off...it's just my opinion. But I still think no matter what the age of the stepmom, she still deserves respect and she still deserves to have her house run the way she likes it to run...

The thing that impresses me most about America is the way parents obey their children. ~Edward, Duke of Windsor, Look, 5 March 1957

"I believe age is important

"I believe age is important to consider when reading how people handle situations differently."

Precisely BBB. It helps to understand the situation a little better when you know ages. You are also right that just three years in a situation can really enlighten your viewpoint on a situation. You can learn a awful lot in three years. ALso normally the older you are the more relationship experience you have had which like you said can make a difference. You also to note that people who have alot of difference in age may have different views in discipline and the like. That could also cause problems in a marriage where one spouse is alot younger than the other.

I knew nothing at 20. Just ten years has matured me a whole heck of alot. There is also only five years difference in hubs and myself so we are pretty much on the same wave length generationally speaking.

I was REALLY hoping asking age didn't sound b*tchy.

Having a baby does not make you a mother.

No prob at all...I am 30. I

No prob at all...I am 30. I have a 27 YO brother, 16 YO brother, 10 YO brother and 9 YO sister. The younger three are technically 'half-siblings' however I never call them that...they are just my brothers and sister. I actually take offense when people call them "half-siblings". As far as exposure goes to helping raise kids....I had an ex-bf that I lived with for 4 years that had 3 kids...I was 27 at the time of the split up. Right now I've been with the man I'm going to marry for 18 months and he has 2 kids. Not quite sure how my age could have a factor about someone getting me pissed off about saying something mean or obnoxious about my sister or for any one of my family members for that fact...but there you go. You have all the info...ANALyse all you want!

Wow

There is a pretty wide range of ages with your siblings. I thought you were probably much younger but then again I didn't take into account that the younger sibs could be half's. The twins do not refer to their sister as HALF sister either and I'm really glad. They just call her "sissy". I HATE the HALF label also....if you share a parent you are siblings. There is no such thing as half sisters...you either are or you arn't.

The age thing wouldn't of had too much to do with this specific post but it would of been helpful to know if say you were barely 20 and DH was 43. There would of been a big difference in views, expectations, standards and everything if there was a substantial gap which would explain why maybe you are having DH to see some things you want him to see.

My sister married a much older man and he is real mellow because he is tired and picks his battles. It drives my sister NUTS because she is still pretty young (23) and she still has energy to fight certain things that he won't. They argue and disagree on discipline issues quit a bit. It's the same thing as parents being hard on the first child but by the time the third one rolls around they let alot more slide.

Having a baby does not make you a mother.

You are here

SD12 thinks my sister is 'annoying'

Comments