SoTired1
Who does the BMs think they are??? It seems they only think about themselves & what's best for themselves rather than think on the child(ren) first & foremost! It never ceases to amaze me! And forget about about poor BDs. . . they're thoughts, of course, are never considered. I am a fighter! If it were me, I would encourage my DH to fight BM in court about moving out-of-state with his child(ren). BM needs to understand that her actions are not acceptable & won't be tolerated without a fight. Secondly, what does she means "half Xmas break"? Is she kidding me??? Give me a break!! You know what that means, DH will never have the pleasure of having his child(ren) in his home on Xmas day. Yeah right! BM needs to come up with a better plan such as, during the even year, your DH gets his child(ren) during summer break, holiday seasons (make a choice to share or rotate between Thanksgiving, Xmas, New Year's); then odd year BM can then celebrate with the child(ren). That's an option or something in that way. Also, about airfare, I think that despite it's her decision to move or whether you & DH had to move for whatever the reasons, I believe that it is a fair request to split the bill. However, I wouldn't trust BM at all reference her reimbursing flight fees, etc. No ma'am! She would pay for her very own 1-way ticket & then you & DH can pay for your very own 1-way ticket. Don't ever trust the words of a BM. . .they cannot be trusted ever! I hope this helps & good luck with your decisions. Have a wonderful evening.

As for spliting air cost. I would tell bm that you would pay for the skids to visit you and it would be up to bm to pay for the return fight.

Because if bm didnt pay for the fight then she cant have you for with holding the skids as she is meant to pay for that flight.

Okay as for cost.. When bm moved away the following happened.

Bm has to bring the skids to dh;s house for the xmas school holidays and then pick them up from dhs house at the end of the holidays.. ( bm had the pays contact costs..)

Easter school holis.. Dh had the skids for one week with the contact costs being split bewteen them.

Winter school holis, DH has the skids for all the school holidays with bm paying for contact just like at xmas..

Third term school holidays , dh had one week is which the cost where split..

Honestly if you can get bm to pay for the return flight!!!

If my bm was to move again then we would make it up to bm to collect the skids from our house/town..
That way bm cant say that dh is with holding the skids,

This is what I found online for your state

Move Aways
After you are divorced and custody of your children has been awarded to you or your former spouse, one of you may decide that you need to leave the area. This is a nightmare scenario for many parents because it can severely curtail their access to their child. Some parents may deliberately relocate in an effort to destroy the connection between the children and the other parent.

Child custody decisions can be reviewed by the court at any time, provided there is a change in circumstances. If everything is the same as it was the last time a child custody order was made, you will not be able to have a judge reconsider the case. It is only if there has been a "material change in circumstances," that the matter can be revisited. The key word is "material." The change has to be big enough to justify looking at the decision again.

A move-away is always a material change in circumstances. Judges can approve the custodial parent moving away. They can also issue an order barring the custodial parent from moving the child.

The legal standard in these situations is the same as it is for deciding who gets custody. The court is supposed to ask "What is in the best interests of the child?"

Some factors that may enter into the decision are: (1) the reason for the move, (2) how detailed and concrete are the plans for what the moving parent will be doing in the new place, and (3) how will the change in location affect the child's development and well-being. Just because a move will be better for the moving parent does not always mean it is better for the child.

This is one of those situations where having an effective lawyer can be very helpful. A lawyer who knows how to put on a persuasive case can make a very big difference in how you fare in court. You will want a lawyer who is willing to put some real time into getting ready for the hearing.

Scenario 1:
You are the custodial parent and your former spouse decides to move. They are free to do so. Usually, all they need to do is provide their new address. Virginia Law requires that all custody orders require the parties to give notice to the court and the other parties of their intention to relocate. Section 20-124.5.

Scenario 2:
You are the custodial parent and you decide you want to move. The terms of your divorce decree or other court orders will require you to give your former spouse at least 30 days advance notice of the move. They will then have the opportunity to go into court and ask that custody be awarded to them or that you be ordered not to move the child.

Scenario 3:
Your former spouse has custody of the children and decides to move away. You have the option of seeking an order blocking the move or shifting custody to you. If you have had trouble with your former spouse interfering with your visitation and you have kept a good record of what has gone on, this may be a good time to ask the court to shift custody to you. The same is true if the other spouse's parenting has been inadequate and you have some good examples of that inadequacy that you can prove.

Scenario 4:
Your former spouse has custody and you need to move. This is the most difficult position to be in. Unless you have good evidence of some improper conduct by your former spouse that would justify changing custody to you, you will probably have to accept seeing your children less frequently.

Jurisdiction after the Move
One of the problems that arises with parents moving around is which court will have the right to make decisions in the future regarding custody and child support. The spouse who has moved, would normally prefer to be able to go to court in the new state. The rules for deciding which court can make the decisions are, to say the least, confusing. This is also an area where you really need to have a lawyer. For a taste of the law in this area, try reading the Interstate Family Support Act.

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My sister has 3 children and is divorced. She met someone new, moved out of state, and did not notify the courts. Her Ex didn't file an emergency hearing, so by the time they went to court, the judge allowed my sister to stay where she was with the kids. Her Ex has about the same visitation as you've described above if your DH's Ex were to move. And the judge did order for her and my Ex to split the cost of travel, even though she initiated the move. I don't agree with what my sister did, but whats done is done.

You never know how the judge is going to rule in situations like these. The best you can do is sit down and weigh the pros and the cons of fighting this or not fighting this. And just go from there.

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“Unless commitment is made, there are only promises and hopes; but no plans.”