child-support...it's just money...
Why is it that when referring to the person PAYING the child support, everyone, including ex's and courts go with "it's just money"...but when referring to the person RECEIVING the cs, nobody says "it's just money"...in that instance, it's all about how more money will benefit the children...hmmm...
Sorry, not a good night as I try to think of how the F$%^$% we can ever afford a house with the witch taking so much of my DHs income, and thus now that it's on his credit report, we always worry when she'll come asking for more...I can't deal with this crap for the rest of my life...ok, it's not the rest of my life, but it seems like it is...every F%$#$% year we count BACK not forward...you'd think we'd be happy that she's 15, but no, because we don't have 3 more years, we have at least another 5 years!!! and that's if the loser doesn't fail school again...sigh...At 18 my parents would've kicked my behind out of the house if I had not finished high school, but these kids of divorce get everything handed to them on a silver platter...makes me sick to my stomach...and it is the courts and the witch that have created this animosity...and by now, the little loser who feels entitled to everything while failing school and having a new boyfriend every other week...
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"these kids of divorce get
"these kids of divorce get everything handed to them on a silver platter"...
uh...yeah they do including a big dose of adversity. Living in a broken family is just peachy, right?
Ponder living your childhood going back and forth from one set of rules in house to another then toss in all the freaking anamosity that your parents are tied up in against each other and pray you come out of it half unscathed.
These kids of divorce get a silver platter handed to them alright...a platter of a lot of bullsh@t.
Geez...have a heart for goodness sakes.
Of course its situational.
Of course its situational. the quote i was referring to stated otherwise and that's what I was referring to.
I'm child of divorce as well, as you know, and I call it broken home because my parents BROKE UP and it BROKE UP our family therefore I came from a BROKEN HOME! Its quite black and white really. Mind you there is no ill will towards my parents for splitting or remarrying...Heck I did the same thing! My family BROKE apart and made new ones. That's how I see it but you can have your peeve.
and I didn't group all stepkids either. Don't put words in my blog. What I said was they get a silver platter of a lot of BS because frankly there's more than a typical intact family....at least from a kids prospective.
Get off your high horse.
I think that after 18 then
I think that after 18 then CS shouldn't be set by a court, but it comes down to the parents choice. Yes, your SD shouldn't be 'rewarded' for failing school if it's because she's not trying (obviously if she's has learning difficulties or something it would be a bit different).
If the level of CS means that you guys can't move on with your lives is there any chance of going back to get it adjusted? In the UK it's set as a percentage of income, so it will change as salary does.
If it make you feel any
If it make you feel any better my Dh and I both have custody of our children from previous marriages and we have one together... neither one of us has ever seen a child support payment and our oldest is 14! My sister also has a 12 year old son and also has only seen maybe 4 months of CS in the boys life. I don't ever expect to see any help from my Ex other than the occaisional weekend he will take the kids( maybe 12 times a year). We make due, just fine although it would be quite a help especially when it is time to get them ready for school or Christmas.
I have my ss full time also.
I have my ss full time also. Child support is needed. My DH is working 3 jobs and I am working 2 and BM doesn't pay a dime. I know if BM paid, DH wouldn't have to work 3 jobs, I wouldn't have to work 2, and DH would actually be able to spend time with his child. Child support is beneficial.
I am also a child of divorce. Silver platter, yeah right, I totally agre with StepChicka.
In my state child support can't be revisited for 3 years. Also, in my state the parents have to agree on paying child support after 18. My Dad had to pay child support after we turned 18 if we went to college. I think they came to that agreement in the divorce settlement.
"If I turn into another, Dig me up from under what is covering the better part of me" -Incubus
Crystal, thank you for your
Crystal, thank you for your comment. Obviously going back and forth between houses is no great deal...at the same time, I can assure you that when living in an intact household, there are MANY times that kids want to get the heck away from one parent or the other, and they never get that chance. The fact is that child support is not what creates the mess of having to go from one house to the other...it does create animosity when one parent is the one always asking for money, no matter what the other parent is going through.
But as far as a silver-platter, it does happen when it comes to money...again, being shuffled has nothing to do with this, as it would happen regardless. At the same time, again and again, I hear the complaints of smoms on this issue, but it is 99% women who are smoms and their husbands have custody with no child support...when it's the other way around and the woman has custody, unless they married a loser, and believe me that people don't become losers overnight, they get their child support. If they had a child with a loser, they normally don't get any child support...but then again, that man would've probably been just as unstable if they had stayed together.
As far as cs revisited, it is 3 yrs or more than 10% variation...although at the end of the day, it is hardly ever decreased...only increased.
And by the way, I see it now with my own sister...while she was married there was animosity in the house due to different parenting styles ALL THE TIME...now that she has separated, the kids actually enjoy it...you know why? Because in her case, the kids go to their dad's house and he lets them do whatever they want...end of story. Before, they were not allowed to do anything while my sister was in the house...now, she has no control over what happens in her ex's house and the kids love the fact they can do whatever they want. Hey, in an intact family, they never got that chance...
Also, I understand that stroking a check every month does not make a parent. Funny thing is, in many situations, including ours, the BM wants complete control of the kids, does not want the ex interfering in her decisions, etc...and then complains because of the sacrifices she makes...I never complain over the sacrifices I make for my own child. I am lucky to see him every single day...on the other hand, our BM, and many others I know complain about this...so therefore, because they want to have complete control, they also want even more money than they could ever possibly need as a way to get paid for taking care of their own kids...that's not right.
My husband was a great father...it was BM who did NOT want him involved except when it came to handing over money...yes, his daughter has lost out and some may say he doesn't sacrifice enough, but BM won't allow it...no matter what he said, she went the opposite direction...she now can't complain that she's doing it all on her own...