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You Can Tell A Blended Family By Looking At Them

ChaiLatte's picture

I saw a very obvious looking blended family at a restaurant this weekend. The family consisted of a husband, a wife, and the man's daughter. Their body language was very telling, and very sad.

Even though he sat between them, the husband spent the evening facing his daughter. At one point, the father and daughter were huddled down, their smiling faces very close to one another, holding hands. To top it off, they were whispering. The wife at this point looked even more uncomfortable than she previously had. I did not see him say two words to his wife the entire night, let alone touch her. Her expression was blank, but for a little sadness. Her shoulders were hunched down, and she mostly silently stared at the table as she was ignored. I knew for sure they were a blended family because I overheard the daughter, who was talked nonstop the entire time, brining up her mother in conversation. I'm surprised that woman didn't lose her appetite entirely.

Comments

soverysad's picture

So sad. If my dh ever ignored me while out, I'd never go out with he and sd again.

"God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy" and you can't change crazy!!

RustyHalo's picture

I feel sorry for that woman, but I would never allow myself to be treated like that in any situation, EVER. I can say this, because I WAS treated exactly like this by my EX. He never favored our children over me, but he would flirt with other women, hang with his buddies, and NEVER show me any attention. No hand holding, no touching of any kind, no fun, happy moments. Hence, the divorce.
I will never allow myself to be treated that way again. That poor woman needs to realize that she has to be Priority Number One. But SHE has to put herself there first before she can demand it from anyone else.

**my stepdaughters did not grow in my tummy, they grew in my heart**

Wicked.Step.Monster's picture

Me either Rusty! I would never EVER tolerate that behavior. I've never been treated second and I refuse to ever BE treated second. When we all go out to eat, the ONLY way anyone would know we're a blended family is by SDs calling me by my first name.

RustyHalo's picture

Actually, when people mistakenly call me their mom - the skids don't correct them. Occasionally, I will correct the person if I think it may come back to bite me later on. Especially at the skids' school. I am there alot and people THINK I am the mom, but I let them know that I'm the soon-to-be step mom. I don't want them thinking that I am the one who sends them to school in mis-matched outfits, hair not brushed, or missing homework. I let them know that if something is missing or if anything needs attention, I sometimes will never know this.
**my stepdaughters did not grow in my tummy, they grew in my heart**

Amazed's picture

Gross. Plain and simple. Gross,disgusting,vile behavior. It is the husband's job to break that little ice wall built up in the blended family and involve the stepmother. Bastard.

"Venting without the desire to look within and improve your situation is simply venting to hear yourself bitch."

ChaiLatte's picture

I didn't want to call them out, but I did want to tell her about the site. Didn't want to risk "outting" myself though.

Not going out in public with them seems like the natural course of action to me too, but we don't know if she would have been accused of not liking his daughter if she chose not to be there.

"There comes a time when you have to surrender the idea of what your children could be to the reality of who they are."

Kb3Hooah's picture

Our family dinners usually consist of the skids talking about BM. It truly makes me uncomfortable and makes me feel as if we don't have our own family. I don't think they do this intentionally because when the skids were fully aware of BM and I not getting along they wouldn't mention her in front of me. But now that they believe that BM and I are "friends" they are more comfortable talking about their Mother. It's a catch 22 because as kids, they shouldn't have to worry about censoring talking about their own Mother. I know I wouldn't want my children to feel that way. But at the same time, my life is filled up enough with BM that it would be nice to have a life with BF without the constant presence of BM in our home. The good thing is, is that BF doesn't engage in conversations about BM, especially at the dinner table. That makes the uncomfortable situation a little less uncomfortable.

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