Hi I am a newby to this site too. As you I stumbled onto it as well. I guess it must have been meant to be. I have a blended family I have two Bio boys that are 14 and 16. My youngest is special needs ADHD/ODD. However I have been working with him for the past thirteen years. My oldest is just fine and they are both great kids. My husband and I got married 4 years ago. I thought my life was complete I had some playmates now for my children and I had a little step daughter that I could dote over. My husband has two bio kids one girl now 11 now and a boy now 14. In the beginning the girl was fine. I could see though that she had some issues ADHD/ODD perhaps too. I talked my husband into getting her tested and sure enough she did. I thought she should get some counseling because she had some pretty severe issues that were not normal for kids at her age then 5 to have. She was really into vampires and boys. She always clung to her father when he was around saying things like, "MY DADDY." I didn't think it was that bad at first. But then she saw that her Dad's attention was not always on her but me as well then she started being mean. I have for the past 4 years heard things come out of her mouth that a female should never say. However I hate to say it her mother and her mothers part of the family are what you would call white trash, alcoholics, drug users etc... She has most likely been exposed to many things that young children should not have been exposed too. Her cousin who used to live with her showed her and taught her a lot of bad things at a young age and her mother was drug up like a weed. Sadly to say she had an alcoholic mother who didn't care about her and a father who was never in her life. However my husband is a good man and a good father. He was always working during the week when he and his ex were married. Home on the weekends and they did family things. But the aunts, cousins, and riff raff that came around them I am sure wasn't good for this little girl. I don't like to trash people for the fun of it. However the things I will share with you may make your situation seem somewhat better. I doted over all of the kids and it was so much fun takeing her shopping for clothes. I never got to do that for a little girl before. We were in Ross, mind you she is 5 years old at this particular time. She went over to the teenager part of the store and picked up a few bra's and said that she needed them. I told her that when she got older they would be appropriate. She would pick out all of this trashy stuff, spaghetti string shirts short short skirts. I said that little girls didn't wear clothes like that. Well she said that her mommy let her. I told her that I didn't approve of that type of clothing and if she wanted to shop we would get clothes that covered her body. Those were the first issues, then the breaking of my things, getting into my things and not asking even though I had repeatedly asked her not to get into my things unless she had permission. I had to lock my perfumes and all of my make-up away. I bought her her own things and even gave her some of mine but she would ruin it or lose it with in days. Next her mother started telling her that I wasn't her mother and that she didn't have to listen to me. That is good parenting... So then when she didn't get her way she would scream at me telling me that I wasn't her mother and that she only had to listen to her's and her daddy. That I was not her relation and I had no right to tell her what to do. She was 6 when this started. Then her mother got pregnant again and was going to have a baby with her latest boyfriend. My stepdaughter started to choke herself. She ws caught doing it on the bus and I was informed of this. I told her father and he and I asked her about it and she said she wouldn't do it again. Well she went to her mothers for a week and when she came back she had black and blue marks on the front of her neck. We found out that she had began to choke herself now with her hands wrapped around the back of her neck and her thumbs on the front. I couldn't believe this was happening. a 6 year old little girl choking herself.. I tried asking her where she learned it and she said she saw it from a movie that she watched with her cousin at her moms called Queen of the Dammed. I went straight out and rented the movie and watched by myself and I couldn't believe that a mother would ever let a 6 year old watch such a thing. I called her mother and she said that I was making a big deal out of nothing and that she was fine. It was only a faze and she would stop. Well it didn't it got worse I wouldn't let her go anywhere by herself when she was here. While she was in the the bathroom the door was open and I would check on her, in her room the door was open and I would check on her. He father on the weekends did the same. My kids were pretty freaked out by this. I finally talked to the school counselor and said look I may be just the step mother but there has to be something done about this. She needs counseling and I need you to refer her. I went over my husbands head and her mothers head and well by golly she ended up going to counseling. However the choking went on for at least a year. I wanted her to be admitted into Childdren's hospital but her mother said that she was going to be on maternity leave and that she would watch her at school. Well that never happend. I got a call from the school they said that she had choked herself out at recess and passed out. I was so upset that I packed up some of her clothes and picked her up from school and drove her to the hospital myself. The Dr. and the Hospital Phyc. Examined her and then her mother came storming into the room and told me that I had no right to do what I did. Well I told her that if she would have taken more prevenative steps when this all started then this might not be as bad as it was. The mother refused to have her admitted and the father my husband said that the bio mom has the right when it comes to medical treatment to make half of the descisions. I was livid and the Dr. was apalled.. He told her if it was his daughter he would fly her anywhere to get her some help. I left her there with her mother and cried all of the way home. Since the time this child has been in my life she has caused so much turmoil and stress in my life... I have had to go on anti-depressents and even get counseling for me and my whole family. I love my husband but this little girl I hate to say it, is a bad seed. She likes to be Evil and do evil things. She bites herself to this day and now she is 11, she thinks that she is a vampire, and that is the only way she can calm herself down. All my husbands arguments have been over her. I don't know how I have endured this child for as long as I have. Recently she told her mother that I abused her and CPS came to my home and talked to me. My children and even my step son said that she was lying about aby alegations she made. Also they told the worker that if anything, I was the one being abused. I remember she wanted to wear a pair of pants that showed her buttm her crack was showing about three inches and she had on this short shirt. I told her she couldn't wear thos kinds of clothes when she was here. She through a fit I wouldn't let her leave my house looking like that. When I tried giving her some different clothes she grabbed my arm that was holding the clothes and bit me, making me bleed. I still have a scar from her biting me. This little girl is 11 going on 25 and I can't stand being around her. I never thought that any child was a bad child but I really think this one is. I hope I don't go to hell for thinking this but I can't help it. God only gives us as much as we can handle and soon the Mom is going to be moving farther away closer to the city. That will mean that the week she is with us my husband will get them up in the morning and drive them to the mom's and pick them up on his way home. So I will see much less of her. The only bummer though about them moving is that I will really miss my step son. He is a good boy and we get along great. I love her too, but she has caused so many problems with me and my family. It is really hard to be around her.

I know everyone has hardships and it isn't easy raising children and especially when it is little girls and step mothers. We are the other woman who has come between them and their fathers and their mothers. She also tells me repeatedly that she can't stand me she wants for her mother and father to get back together. That I am just some chick who is with her dad to steal all of his money even though I have a good job and pay for half of everything. I just hope that she doesn't end up in a ditch someday because she was hitch hiking or becomes pregnant by the time she is 14. All I can say is that I tried and I have to keep telling myself that I did try. God Bless all of you parents who are going through rough times raising blended families. It isn't easy...