7 months after graduation and she still lives with us.
I just don't know what to do anymore. He promised me she would be gone by February. Now she says she will never be ready by then....I want to scream. She has been working for 5 months now making a decent living, why isn't she ready? Oh wait that would mean NO more FREE ride. She would need to be responsible and pay her own way. She pays no rent, does no chores, cooks for herself only and uses whatever groeceries or laundry detergent, toothpaste that she sees fit to use. I think I just need to get the hell out of dodge. he says he can't wait for her to go, but yet he doesn't make it hard for her to stay... I love this man but I am at my wits end. Yes she has backed off and doesn't insult me, or break my things or use the kitchen when she knows I will be cooking. But it is the thought of living in the same house with her for almost another year that makes me want to scream. I have endured her for 2 1/2 years now. She is college educated, with a job, why does she need to live at home? She said she could never live in an apratment, haha is she entitled or what. I say too bad, you start where you start. Not everyone can start with all the luxeries of home. Work the way your dad and I did. We didn't start off with everything we have now so why should you???
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HIS ANSWER IS SHE HAS 68,000
HIS ANSWER IS SHE HAS 68,000 SHE OWES FOR SCHOOL LOANS. SHE PAYS 150 A MONTH...OK SO WHATS THE PROBLEM. THE PROBLEM IS IN HIS OWN WORDS - HE WILL LOSE HIS DAUGHTER...BUT IT'S OK TO LSE ME...TO;D HIM TODAY THAT I WAS DONE.
What is her degree??/ Some
What is her degree??/ Some states in USA, allow students /college loans..."paid in full "if they work a certain amount of time....for a school system, like for teachers...ask around...there's others for other degree's...that pay off the loans..she might be elligle for that type of pay off...
Putting my foot down was the
Putting my foot down was the best thing I could have ever done. he has relented and says he is sorry for doing what was easier for him and not what was best for her and us. D-day is no 90 days away. Of course he tells her this tomorrow, we will see if he can withstand the backlash that will surely come his way.
i know...tell him you will
i know...tell him you will stop paying the bills on your end too. and he can cover you just like he covers her:)
Charge rent and her share of
Charge rent and her share of food/ utilities...
Don't give out any "cash" for anything! Nothing. It sounds cruel but sometimes it is the only way to get them on their own.
Also, open up MS word and devise some form of contract/ agreement.
Good luck!
May 1st is freedom day. of
May 1st is freedom day. of course she now hates her bd and it's all my fault. Hope our relationship can withstand the backlash of her anger.
Woulnd't worry much about
Woulnd't worry much about her "hating" him. Usually with a bit of real world life, some maturity, and a bucket of grow the hell up.... they start respecting parents who do the right thing.
well she is gone and I am
well she is gone and I am the bad guy...:(
My parents had to do this to
My parents had to do this to my brother. He came back from college, after graduating, went back to the job he had in high school and summers, and just kind of kept on with a college type attitude. I mean he had it made and he knew it. I think he was still under their car and health, bills were paid, he was eating with them. I think his expenses were like his cell and the gas in his truck. I was kind of disgusted with him and my parents but I blew it off. BUT one day it just kind of dawned on both of them. They snapped more than gave a deadline. I don't know what brought it about, I had made comments about them helping him go to college so he could live with them (read off them) forever and they all floated. All of a sudden my mother was calling a friend who was a realtor and having him go look at rentals. They told him they would be lease guarantor if need be but that was it. Well then, same thing, he didn't want to live in an apartment. Wouldn't you know it, my parents have a tiny house on their farm. Great for one person. So my mom took what would be rent on a one bed apt and signed a lease with him. He was irritated, don't get me wrong, but he knew what he was doing. It was short lived irritation. More like he needed that nudge to take the final step out onto his own. Some kids know they have it good where they are, and will take lots of steps to stay in one place....
If only he saw it that way.
If only he saw it that way. Now he says I forced him to throw her out, when that wasn't what happened at all. He said he relaized he needed to stop enabling her and that it would be good for her to be out of the house, said he would be a better father to her in the end. Well after her being gone for 5 days and a nasty phone call from her laced with guilt he has relented and is blaming me. Now he is not speaking to me...He gave her 90 days and she chose to move in 5, and now she is crying boo hoo you threw me out and I am sleeping on an air mattress in mom's 1 bedroom apartment. He offered her assistance to get a place but she turned him down. She is cruel and nasty but I am the evil one...When I first came on this site someone told me that if he made her go he would end up resenting me, seems as if he was a prophet...I don't know what to do anymore.