Yes. BM was over and I was helping her file her taxes. Something happened (I don't remember what this was like 3 years ago) and she and DH started fighting... bad. Screaming, yelling... I took SS and we went for a walk. It was not a good sutiation. They both felt really bad afterward... SS was kind of oblivious, he was only 3 years old. He just thought I took him outside to play. He quickly forgot that his mom and dad were screaming at each other. At least it seemed that way :?

DISbelief~

~You have to BE crazy to UNDERSTAND crazy!~

NO way...never. She may have been sneaking around and eavesdropping but getting into it with Frizz has never been done directly in front of SD.

Now, with that said, I know for a fact my darling husband has made snide comments in response to Frizz' snide comments in front of DH.

Dh dropped SD off to Frizz once wearing the outfit he was going to wear to a concert we were seeing that night...just jeans,boots,black tshirt,and one of those sexy leather strap bracelets around his wrist...

I can't remember exactly what BM said but it was something about his age and dressing his age or something like that. and he fired back with some smart ass comment pertaining to being as old as you feel and he added a dig about how old she looks and it just wasn't pretty.

So he has popped off to her...but they've never gotten into it to my knowledge while SD was present.
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"Venting without the desire to look within and improve your situation is simply venting to hear yourself bitch."

"Never let the hand you hold, hold you down." ~Aut

Yes, they have gotten into it BAD in front of SD. DH was living with his mom at the time, she bust into the house and into his room where we were, and make a long story short, it got physical, cops were called, Jer-RY Jer-RY Jer-RY...

SD was like 4 and hysterical, her birthday was the next day I think. Terrible. DH didn't feel bad though, and honestly I didn't either. It was a bad situation to say the least, but SD is fully aware now of her mother's tomfoolery. She didn't forget that incident to this day, and she always says "Mommy was sooo wrong for that."

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Rome wasn't built in a day, and my marriage won't be either.

Unfortunately my husband and his ex (BM) had some extremely ugly fights in the years before they separated… we’re talking butcher cleavers to the sofas (HER doing!) furniture being destroyed (HIS and HER doing)… hell, she even ran him over with her car… TWICE! And we won’t even get into the verbal abuse the two of them dished on each other in their brief 5 year marriage (I recall he wrote “DTF” on his arm for a year in black sharpie marker because she called him “Doomed To Fail”, nice huh?) He went through a literal detox when we got together from the poison that relationship built up in his veins… he would unintentionally say the ugliest, meanest things sometimes and not even know he was doing it because that’s how he lived and communicated for those years. It was really sad…

But fortunately the boys were too young to remember the worst of it… (1 and 5 yrs old when they separated) but I have heard SS6 say to my husband, “Do you remember when mom hit you in the head with a frying pan?” and I see his heart just break… I’m sincerely hoping that he’ll forget those memories as he gets older. I have no worries about the two year old… he only sees them how they are now. Still snarky as hell (they get in these underhanded little jabs all the time about weight, money, hair do’s etc.) but dare I say almost friendly..? (ALMOST!) I just thank the gawds that those boys weren’t subject to too many years of that kind of living!!!

Although I dislike BM on a very grand scale, I came face to face with her once and never spoke a word to her. ANy time she comes around, I disappear. This drives her nuts as she is very curious about me. I have never called her, emailed her or any form of contact. Thats my husbands baggage to deal with, not mine.

" Faith is a bird that feels dawn breaking and sings while it's still dark"-R.Tagore

Not in the two years since I've been here. There was once where Wilda was pulling her crap with SD the whole weekend we had her which turned into a whiny "What are we going to do that's fun?" weekend. Ugh... Then she said something about what Mommy does & he lost it. He DID say to her "Your mom tries to make it look like I don't love you." Obviously completely untrue but that's what she does, or used to anyway. I only heard this secondhand b/c I was in the bedroom faking a panic attack so I didn't have to listen to the whining all day long.

I'm not sure about right around breakup time though. The last week that they were together BF had gone on a hunting trip, Wilda ditched SD with his parents so she could go and bang her boyfriend (Poor Sucker) and she told him she was leaving the day he got back. Classy, huh? There was one point where he was IRATE because of the fact that she was trying to make the fact that she has a loose c@nt his fault. (Disclaimer - if there had been one indiscretion, I wouldn't be so nasty about it but this went on for months and Poor Sucker wasn't the only one. She was having cyber sex with at least 2 other people too). He grabbed her and shoved her into the wall. I don't know where SD was for this one.... He's so non-violent it's not even funny but I guess when your manhood is stepped on like a roach, you might snap.

"There are two things over which you have complete dominion, authority, and control over - your mind and your mouth".

Both ways. DH has argued with BM in front of SD 15, so have I. But we both try very hard not to. The only time it errupts is when it's midnight and she won't stop blowing up our phone just to harass us, which has stopped thank goodness. Upon seeing my two year old come out of her room wondering what's going on with sleep all in her eyes I flipped out and let BM know the next phone call would result in a restraining order and our phone number being changed and she won't have it. She said I can't do that, she's allowed to have our phone number per the court. I let her know she will have a number, my cell. And when she gets stupid cell will go off. Come to find out, I was on speaker phone. Of course, SD knew her mom was drunk and acting a fool.

DH, now that's a different story. He won't argue with BM hardly at all. But once he turns loose it doesn't matter who's around, he'll let her have it.

Now again, BM has ALWAYS told SD nothing but hateful stuff about me and him both, so I think it's a good thing that she sees her father stand up for himself atleast once a year!

Lets see.. A week before my 1 yr anniversary to DH, we brought the skids home, and dh confronted BM about something the skids told us, that should have been relayed to him by her.. she was wigging out on dh, and then called SS (7 at the time) a drama queen (did I mention he was in the room??) so, that is when I mentioned that I do not think he was being a drama queen, as he was wetting his bed in his sleep, and so perhaps he was genuinely tramatized.. that is all she had to hear.. she went off on my like 4th of July fireworks..

It got so bad, that my dh and her dh had to pull her off of me. I had several black and blues.. note, I never laid a hand on her. After that, I told DH, the only reason I didnt defend myself was their CHILDREN were in the room, as well as her 2 yr old (different dad). And that that one was free, but next time I would knock her on her @ss, then call the cops.

She never apologized to me. Still not til this day, almost 4 yrs later. How did the skids react? neither talked to me the following time we had them.. ummm.. and that was the start of the end w/them having any sort of a healthy relationship w/me. Its always on their terms, and what they feel like. She really wrecked our relationship, because up til this point, they enjoyed hanging out w/me..

I do not have a good relationship w/her either.. at least on my end. She thinks we are best buds.. the way she acts at least.. I have a more reserved approach to her, in that I have as little contact as possible. She has never seen my child in person (and he is 11 mths) and if I have my way.. never will. That for me was the last straw.

Yikes. *Bowing my head and raising my hand*

BM was being particularily annoying one evening... at a Christmas get together at her house with her new BF and all her family... and the kids. She was letting me know that she'd been working out, and that she could "take me". Wouldn't let it go. I drank wine to calm my nerves, which in essence also DIDN'T help me in the restraint department because at a breaking point...

I did a UFC take down.

I have to be honest that I don't really feel all that bad about it.

That was before therapy though.

"For every ailment under the sun....There is a remedy, or there is none;
If there be one, try to find it; If there be none, never mind it." ~ W.W. Bartley

BM has lost it a few....well several hundred times with BF in front of the kids. BF however will either hang up on her or walk away. I'm not sure how it was when they were married, but I can't imagine it being any different. BM and her STBX (soon to be Ex) go at it all.the.time in front of the kids. STBX isn't as laid back as BF is, so he gives it right back to her. SD has called BF crying saying she was scared and she wanted him to pick her up, and SS has come over before wanting to do "magic" so there wouldn't be anymore fighting in their house.

I had a relationship like this with my Ex. All the fighting and yelling where the kids could hear...and that among many, many, many other reasons was why I decided I couldn't do it anymore. BF isn't one to yell or lose his temper, so when we argue, it stays pretty brief and low key b/c one of us ends up shutting down until we can collect our thoughts and discuss it rationally.

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“Got Boundaries?” ~BitchBitchBarbie~
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dmbz8LpQry0

Only about 1,000,000 times - but 99% of the time it was BM AND SD reaming DH and screaming over the phone to him in the middle of the night on a school night.

BM stopped after I started answering her back too - she felt it was 'none of my business' for her to wake us up in the middle of the night for her bullshit, keeping SD up to scream at her dad for shit that supposedly happened 10+ years before. No wonder she flunks her classes!

Once I started saying stuff back to both of them, this ABUSE from them has slowed to a stop - DH would just take it, but I won't.

DH says a counselor told him BM is uncomfortable with things being calm, and has to fight with someone, anyone, to feel normal - why, because she is a bitch, no, we think she is bipolar.
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May your blessings outnumber
The shamrocks that grow,
And may trouble avoid you
Wherever you go.
~Irish Blessing

The SpermIdiot and SpermGrandMa acutally had the Skid and the three out-of-wedlock half sibs in the room during a telephone hearing ON SPEAKER PHONE!

SS was on SpermClan visitation and the toothless dipshits actually had the kids in the room during a telephone court hearing.

I F-in flipped out on BioDad and the judge when I heard the kids playing in the background. The Judge actually threatened me with contempt when I layed in to her with every four letter explative in the book..... and some not in the book. I told her "Good luck enforcing a contempt charge from the liberal cesspool of Oregon in Williamson County Texas". She never filed the charge. Lucky for me. She did order the SpermIdiot to remove the kids from the room until hearing concluded.

Sooooo ....... yes. Our Son (my SS) has heard his Mom and I rip the toothless SpermIdiots a new asshole....... in court no less.

Best regards,

Success is rarely final. Failure is rarely fatal. It is character, courage and consistency of effort that count. Vince Lombardi (with some minor Rags modifications) To each according to their performance, screw Karl Marx. (Rags)