I don't blog all that often, mostly just read and take heart in knowing I'm not alone. My life is much different from the early years of EOW hell and guilt parenting. After the "great-flunking-school-drama" of nearly 3 years ago, SD and BM did their best to cut BF (and thankfully by proxy me) from SD's life. Years of catering, coddling, guilt-parenting finally caught up with SD and BF. When it was time to do some tough love concerning school and grades, she didn’t respect BF or his authority and instead cut him out of her life except for gifts and braces.

Consequently, BF and I have moved on with life and find there’s almost nothing to disagree about with SD and BM’s noxious presence removed. BF still gets sad at times, but I think the pain is less after 3 years.

While ST was down for repairs (and I'm so glad it is back) we hit a major milestone. SD turned 17. That means 347 days until 18 and then one month more until high school is over. I would say graduation, but graduation from high school is in extreme doubt. We’ve planned for a long-time to marry once SD turned 18 (very long story and reasons why this is the plan), but at long last, the light is at the end of the tunnel.

Some might remember my old posts last year about SD canceling her b-day party(ies) with BF's family (some the day of) before finally showing up on the 4th scheduled date. I would have just mailed the presents after the first canceled date, but those decisions aren't up to me. We saw her for 2 hours at Christmas and she came with new wide gauge earrings. It was awesome that no one in BF’s family would say anything about it for fear SD would never come to another Christmas again. The best part was a random NPR story on how hard it is to repair ear lobe damage from wide gauge earrings that came on while BF and I were driving around later that week. Not my kid, not my problem if at 30 she can’t get a job because her ear lobes touch her shoulders…

Not much drama this year, SD showed at appointed date and time. Spent 2 hours of obligatory time with BF's side of the family, collected her loot and was gone. She texted during dinner, but that is to be expected from a teen with no manners just showing for the gifts I suppose. She still won't allow BF to pick up/drop off, preferring that MIL/FIL do it because they won't ask her about school. And she will only see us at family functions so no one can get on her case about grades, dress, attitude ect. It irks me to no end that MIL/FIL interfere in BF's parenting by running communications, arranging neutral territory and transportation, but after so many years, I've disengaged on that point. After all it means I don't have to see her anymore than necessary.

Still no drivers license. I can’t decide if BM won’t let her get it because of: 1. Cost to add SD to insurance or 2. SD’s grades. SD also let it slip she will be in summer school again this year and was trying to find a summer job to work around school. She also said she “might” transfer to a new school for her senior year. Perhaps if she transfers enough times, some overworked school administrator will just lose her file and let her graduate. Glad to hear she is at least looking for a job, not surprised about school. No matter what, we will be the last to know and MIL will probably have to fill us in.

In the midst of the EOW struggles, I could never have imagined we would get to a 2x a year visitation schedule. But that’s all it is now. SD doesn’t surface for any other holidays, birthdays or father’s day so I now only have to worry about the events where SD will expect presents and show for 2 hours.

I know due to all of you on ST that step problems don’t end at 18, but it will be nice to stop having to send child support into a black void. We just need to make it through 347 days of no drug rehab or teen-pregnancy. Perhaps at 30 after the ear-lobe surgery, SD might pull her head out and decide to have a relationship with her father, but I’m not holding my breath on that one.