Hatred for stepdaughter is eating me up
I can't stand this 14 year old evil bitch. I hate the fact that she is in my house for the summer. It depresses me. I constantly worry about her going into my room and stealing my things. I have moved all the valuable jewelry to my parents house. I leave my makeup at work. I hide money, checkbooks, laptop and other personal belongings. I take a picture with my cell phone of how I left my other personal items each morning before I go to work so I can compare when I get home to make sure they have not been tampered with. I can't stand her. She got a little boyfriend so I thought she would be too wrapped up in her own life to continue to plan and scheme ways to make her father and I fight (plan and scheme lies to tell her father and ways to break us up - her ultimate goal), but no, she writes in her little journal about how happy she is with her boyfriend and why can't her parents be happy together and how horrible it is that I am keeping her parents from being happy together. Never mind that they do not want or even care about each other anymore, that each of them is remarried - yeah ex-wife is remarried too. We have been married going on 5 years now. I think this little bitch just has a personal grudge against me. I really tried and tried to build a relationship with her but I had to give up. Her lies, her stealing her evilness just got out of hand - I do blame her father for not putting his foot down earlier. He continues to re-enforce that he is with me, he is happy with me and she must respect me, but at the same time she is not giving up on her evilness. I was so depressed yesterday that she was in my house I stayed home from work and just stayed in the bed all day. Then when he gets home from work I hear him ask her if everything is ok, did everything go ok - like I would have done something to the bitch during the day. I have never done anything to her but she has told so many lies it is disgusting. I can't stand her. I just know karma will come back around - please. At least he is getting some of it back. She told him she had a boyfriend and then ask him if she could go on birth control - all in the same conversation! 14 years old!!! she is out of control. BITCH!!!!
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Is my SD living with you for
Is my SD living with you for the summer? JK. You sound exactly like I do sometimes. My SD lives with us fulltime...I don't even get a break from her in the summer anymore because she doesn't want to go to BMs. I care about her and I want what is best for her, but she gets under my skin and sometimes I just want scream. It takes all I've got in me to civil to her sometimes. She has this entitlement attitude and thinks that she should get what she wants when she wants it, no questions asked. She lies and steals and goes out of her way to create drama on a daily basis...some days more so than others meaning bigger drama. It's a crap situation to be in and I feel for you.
If it is any comfort to you,
If it is any comfort to you, her age is very trying as I see you are noticing! I do understand everything you are saying and think you are wise to put your things out of reach.
The good news is in a couple years she will have a way to get out of the house if she drives, then won't be around as much. After that it seems a little easier to keep the relationship at arms length if you so desire. (I have an SD19).
Them growing up and teen years is the worst part, but then you get a bit more space. Hopefully!! Meanwhile it is great that DH supports you at all, and if you do let him deal with her, he will ideally know when he is being played. Hang in there dear
Is she in counseling? It
Is she in counseling? It sounds like she hasn't come to terms with her parents' divorce, and she could find some closure and help in counseling.
The teenage years are really rough (not that this excuses her behavior). It's good that DH is sticking up for you. Is BM alienating SD from DH? Some bioparents who have remarried still make life difficult for the other bioparent.
As for her diary, I wouldn't read that. If your husband is the one telling you about it, you can ask him to stop. It sounds like that is only stressing you out more.
She is 14. She is a child who
She is 14. She is a child who dreams of her parents getting back to gether. now she loves her parents and will not blame either of them for their divorce. So she picks on someone else... you. Is it fair? No, obviously. But what else can she do?
I think you shouldn't be reading ehr personal diary. You don't like her snooping and I am sure she wouldn't like you snooping. Unless she is leaving it open on the counter with a big arrow highlighting the passages she wants you to read.
So she lies. Don't get all upset about that. I would say 99.9999% of kids lie. The trick is not to engage in a battle about it. See, she is making all the rules and game plans.
EG: No, Dad. Raza did not ask me to do the dishes. She thinks I will break everything.
You: SD how can you know what i think? Are you a mindreader? And yes, I asked you 4 times to help out.
Point out the obvious. But NEVER follow it with :"I asked you 4 times to help out but you went off with your friends." You are already covering for her and she just needs to add the embellishments ... But Dadddy! Sam and Mary were going to the pool and it is so hot I didn't want to walk!" Rather than ...
Dad: Why didn't you help out?
SD: Well sSam and Mary were going to the pool and I wanted to go and....
Dad: Oh OK. So you didn't help?
It brings the whole idea back to her not helping rather than her being a snot and not helping. It removes YOUR feelings and directs attention to HER actions she CHOSE to take.
As far as the BC.... I would quietly point out that having sex at 14 is illegal. Would he approve of her drinking? Smoking? Because they are also illegal at 14. Then drop the subject.
i agree: "As far as the
i agree:
"As far as the BC.... I would quietly point out that having sex at 14 is illegal. Would he approve of her drinking? Smoking? Because they are also illegal at 14. Then drop the subject."
but she basically admitted to having sex or is going to have it soon, i would rather put her on bc and not end up with her prego blaming it on dad and raza b/c she asked for the pills and they said no. b/c at that age aren't kids faultless?
Starfish .... her FATHER
Starfish .... her FATHER would be the one saying no. Not Razza. She needs to pull way back of this one. As bad as an unplanned pregnancy is thsi is something that has nothing to do with Razza.
The father/DH needs to accept that he is ultimately responisible for his daughter and her welfare. A teacher has more legal responsibility than a step parent.
My DH (who is my world) allowed his older son to make decisions that proved very detrimental to his future. The BM couldn't give 2 hoots where her son was until he ended up in jail with a DUI (blew a 0.17)and felony drug charge (2 tabs of non prescribed Adderall in his backpack). I could see this coming back in 2002 when thenMr 12 could call the shots about visitng with friends because his father and mother TRUSTED him. Fast forward 7 yrs and he is in a helluva mess as well as losing his full ride scholarship.
I expressed my beliefs and feleings MANY times but in the end DH had to make decisions for his kids. I had to make them for my kids. And my kids are FAR from angelic. Case to point thenMiss 18 got pregnant right out of H/School and had 2 years of crap and is now nearly ready to move out again for better reasons.
The OP needs to back out of the drama so she cannot be blamed. She can care but not set herself up for blame.
i didn't say it was raza's
i didn't say it was raza's responsibility, all i said is that if sd gets knocked up sd will blame dad & raza...