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Trying to Hang in there until the 8th when he leaves

sadstep's picture

Submitted by sadstep on Thu, 07/22/2010 - 1:12pm

Well, I am being very selfish and I feel really badly for how I feel, you guys are going to not like me very much, but he went to get ss12 from summer school at 12 today. Every time I hear that he's done that, I get a knife feeling in my gut. Yes, I guess I'm upset that every second until he leaves for 6 months, he's got to be picking him up, mind you he's completely left out sd9. She's at the Y program until Mom picks her up. He just coddles this kid so much it makes me sick to my stomach. I no more want to spend my next two weekends with ss12 than I want to be thrown into a pit of snakes. I can't stand his whining, snotty, peeing the bed crap. And his loud obnonxious voice that carries throughout the house when he opens his mouth to interrupt me and everyone who is in any conversation in the house. My patience level is very close to it's end with the kids every weekend for two months thing... I get off work, he gets his kids. I even get mad at him for this - I'm not sure what it is - inconsiderate crap. He's home all week, get them then. but no every weekend. Sick sick sick to my stomach.

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sadstep's picture

Submitted by sadstep on Thu, 07/22/2010 - 1:36pm

I definitely feel faint! Bless your heart. And I"m complaining about weekends, its just that last weekend his entire family was there, kids, mom, sisters, nephews, nieces etc etc 4 days

starfish's picture

Submitted by starfish on Thu, 07/22/2010 - 1:26pm

oh sadstep, i know exactly how you feel.... i have posted about how i hate wed, b/c we get skids every wed, eot & eow....and i really hate the friday that starts our w/e... and when dh goes to pickup skids, that's about the time my blood starts boiling and i get mad at poor dh, too... and i hate summer it seems he picks skids up early ALL the time and that really gets my goat.... i know he does it to avoid rush hour traffic, but all i see is extra time i have to hear their f'n voices....and entertain or feed them!

i keep the liquor cabinet stocked and am currently on the "pick your battles" & "fake it till you make it" plans.... i am getting a little better (baby steps) or i'm just a happy drunk!

i wish i could be one of those happy as a pig in shit to see skids, but i'm not ~~ there's one or 2 on here that may jump your ass for not bowing down and feeling privileged to have skids, just use your delete button...

sadstep's picture

Submitted by sadstep on Thu, 07/22/2010 - 1:41pm

I wish I could too, and sd 8 is just as sweet as she can be. I'm trying to "fake it till I make it." I don't know how it's going though. My stomach is in knots though. I want the kid out of my house. I want time with him without them in the way. SS doesn't like it when so pays any attention to me, so I'm like a blob in my own house. An empty space not to be paid attention to.

starfish's picture

Submitted by starfish on Thu, 07/22/2010 - 1:39pm

i forgot to even mention the peeing stuff... ss10 still pisses in the bed EVERY night...... i am currently house training a puppy and dh even made the comment that ss10 pisses in the house (not when he uses the bathroom) more than the puppy!! i laughed my ass off and was shocked to hear dh say that ~~ Smile

sadstep's picture

Submitted by sadstep on Thu, 07/22/2010 - 2:27pm

I feel ya, ss12 pissed in his bed and then hid the blanket on the couch, unfortunately the pee went all into the cushions. SO made his clean it up. (amazing, shock)

sm27's picture

Submitted by sm27 on Fri, 07/23/2010 - 10:54am

I find it so funny how most of us deal with this but IT WORKS!! I feel a lot more kid friendly when I have a couple of drinks. It makes the hogging the television more bearable.

txcajunmom's picture

Submitted by txcajunmom on Thu, 07/22/2010 - 2:06pm

i feel for you...it makes my stomach turn when i know it's his weekend!! we have skids every weekend this summer and during the school year it's just eow...but you bet your a$$ bm is calling when it's not his weekend and asking if we can take them...ugh i get so mad! that is my time to clean my house and spend time with MY children!!

HaveHadIt's picture

Submitted by HaveHadIt on Thu, 07/22/2010 - 2:08pm

I almost asked our attorney if I could go after BM for the rehab costs that I'm going to incure if she keeps her shit up.

I think I pay the payments on the Mercedes the liquor store guy drives.

sadstep's picture

Submitted by sadstep on Thu, 07/22/2010 - 2:09pm

I know it sounds silly, but I realy do want time when they arent there to get some cleaning done. I don't know why because they destroy it when they are there, like my house is thier trash can. makes me so mad.

starfish's picture

Submitted by starfish on Thu, 07/22/2010 - 2:17pm

oh, i would love to see the inside of bms ~~ i have heard from sil, mil and some things the skids say that lead me to believe it is disgusting and nothing but clutter....

sadstep's picture

Submitted by sadstep on Thu, 07/22/2010 - 2:25pm

Ok, so alcohol, and I think I'll do some kitchen carving. He seems to back off me when I've got a knife in my hand... Last weekend I made him two different desserts because it was his birthday. He sat in front of everybody and said he didn't like them. My feelings were so hurt. Little shit. Where's that cork screw..

sm27's picture

Submitted by sm27 on Fri, 07/23/2010 - 10:55am

He didn't like them? To the garbage they would've went and that would have been the last time I made dessert just for him. Eat what I make, or don't eat at all.

forever2's picture

Submitted by forever2 on Fri, 07/23/2010 - 12:36pm

I hide in the bedroom and count the seconds until SS is gone. I tried the alcohol thing, but it was making me fat, and then I got into nasty fights with BF because the alcohol let me say what I really feel and believe me when those flood gates open...watch out! The good thing about having SS11 two days at a time is the end is always in sight...although his dreaded return is always in sight too. BF thinks SS is the angel from heaven. I swear BF would stand in line and pay money to watch his kid take a - - - -! The hard part for me is that as I count the seconds until SS leaves, BF counts the seconds until he returns. When we finally escaped for a week long vacation this past winter, BF couldn't stand missing him. He used his phone to take pictures every 5 seconds to send via email to SS. Obviously he would have prefered to be on vacation with SS than with me. When he wasn't taking pictures for the kid, he was dragging me to crap shops so he could buy the kid a bunch of souvenirs that he will never use or look at. He will add them to his room packed with unused, unopened million dollar toys that most kids would kill for. Seems that many of us can't wait for the kid-free time, but what if your BF doesn't? What if your BF would rather have the little brat around 24/7? What if he pouts when his little prince is with mommy? If we care about our men, we want their happiness right, but what if the thing that makes him happy is the same thing that makes our lives a living hell? Anyone else in this boat?

sadstep's picture

Submitted by sadstep on Tue, 07/27/2010 - 9:16am

Hi Forever 2, Thanks so much for your post. Well, I don't think my BF is as obsessed as yours. He can be on his own without ss. Mine just carries so much guilt that it makes me sick to my stomach. I agree with your last sentence what makes him happy, makes me miserable. The kid is a little manipulative brat. He twists things that I say and BF doesn't correct him. Because of course ss12 can do NO wrong and is ALWAYS playing his Dad. "Oh, cough cough, I don't feel good" let's put everyone else out because ss12 doesn't feel good, let's rub his head and coddle him a little bit more. The kid had poison ivy on his butt and wiener. Went bathroom in the woods on poison ivy (rocket scientist kid! LOL). He had his dad in putting calamine lotion on his di**! I said Mike he's old enough to do that on his own and P.S. GROSSS..... Ok hows that for sicko guilt.

So good to read your post. sorry for going off, but I am over this crap. Can you calmly talk to BF about his obsession? Does he respond to calm convo? My does, not immeidately, but he usually comes back and corrects (baby steps). My BF lost his father at age 4. I think a lot of what he does for ss is really for himself, the little boy who had not.

sadstep's picture

Submitted by sadstep on Tue, 07/27/2010 - 9:20am

P.S. Forever 2, I don't hide in the bedroom. ss12 doesn't like the sight of me anymore than I do of him after a certain point, so I just STAY IN HIS FACE. xoxo

steptwins's picture

Submitted by steptwins on Fri, 07/23/2010 - 12:38pm

SS says BM house is a mess b.c she has no one to help her.
Yeah, and she lives alone... I don't get it! They totally accept her pigstye and make excuses for her, i.e. blame me somehow for her situation. (my fault b.c. I married DH)

starfish's picture

Submitted by starfish on Fri, 07/23/2010 - 2:05pm

thank god, dh doesn't want skids 24/7, but:

"If we care about our men, we want their happiness right, but what if the thing that makes him happy is the same thing that makes our lives a living hell? "

is a very interesting point....... guess we want to be our mens happiness and think they should want us to be happy, too... i am going to ponder this for a while keep my mind off of being so frickin' pissed right now for dh bringing ss to our home early AGAIN!

sadstep's picture

Submitted by sadstep on Tue, 07/27/2010 - 9:19am

Hi starfish. I am going shopping on this Sunday with my girlfriend. I cannot take the 4th weekend in a row and summer days also. We have them every second I'm off. But I guarantee that while I'm out he'll have some sort of meltdown with his kids. This past Saturday, he threw a remote at his son and left sd9 crying in her room - all while I was in the shower! So I figure once they realize that without me there, BF cannot handle them calmly. Maybe reality will set in for just a few minutes in the day. After the few minutes I go back to being the bad guy.