Changes in custody arrangements making me nervous.
So far my being a step parent (not offical but that is how I feel) to my SS4 and SS5 have been pretty smooth. They are very well behaved for the most part and I have become part of the family. For the past year we have the boys Sunday from at 3 until Friday at 6, my SO works on weekends so I have the weekends days all to myself and the weekend nights to spend time with my partner. Well now the BF is going to be working out of time for a couple of monthes, I understand this and it is nessicary for him to make money and maybe start paying child support (another issue). There go my weekends... I am worried that I will feel overwhelmed and not enjoy the kids as much with all the parenting time I am going to be required to do. Does anyone have experience with change of custody and adjusting to more time with skids?
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I'm not going to lie-the
I'm not going to lie-the weekends were difficult when BF's daughter was there, mostly because he works weekends (as I see your SO does) so he expected childcare to fall on me. I have a full-time job (and we also had his daughter-2-4 days during the week, so it sounds like your situation is about to mirror that one) and had to just tell him that I need some time to myself. Maybe it is easier for some to just throw themselves into parenting the skids, but I had to draw some firm boundaries and hold them. If I have other plans, I couldn't watch her. Usually I had plans (or made them up at first when I was too chicken to tell him), and then even when I didn't...I need my space.
Yeah I know I don't have to,
Yeah I know I don't have to, I just need to set some boundries so that I don't feel stuck and end up resenting step kids. I think I am going to suggest to my SO that some of her family take them for a couple of hours on Saturday so that I can make plans or just have my space. Hold boundries can be a challenge for me. My above statement should have read that the "BF will be working out of town for a few monthes and not out of time.... "
We have had numerous changes
We have had numerous changes in the custody schedule increasing time each time. It is not so bad in my opinion. I have a huge amout of parenting responsibilty in our house but we are a family and I married him knowing that his D would be a part too. I have always thought of her as my own and treated her that way so watching her was always less of a chore and more of an opportunity.
Not labeling the kids as "his" or "skids" is helpful in reducing the stress of steparenting.
Good point logiebug, I don't
Good point logiebug, I don't have children of my own and maybe I am just having a hard time letting go of my relaxing weekends, but looking at it differently will help. They won't be little forever and I should just enjoy this time with them. I still think at first I am going to try and schedule a little free time for myself.