I have a confession to make...
Here's a quick summary..
My SD(12) has been peeing in her pants for 6 years now. She has been to a few different doctors and there is nothing physically wrong with her. BM says that I "make" her do it. DH and I have tried everything but she keeps doing it. I have used up every bit of patience with her, she is determined to drive me crazy.
DH and I have asked her a million times to please rinse out her pants and panties and to not just throw them on her bedroom floor. They stink and I would have to wash them separate from everyone else's (yes, it really is that stinky!)
If she has a shower upstairs she will rinse them and throw them in the hamper. If she is downstairs she just throws them in a pile on her bedroom floor. DH can't get downstairs and I think this is some sort of "present" for me. I told DH that I WILL NOT wash these stinky clothes, they need to be rinsed and then go in the hamper or I will throw them out. I said this maybe 10 times to him and then ....here is my confession....for 3 months now I have been throwing out every bit of clothing that she hasn't rinsed out. She was looking for a pair of pants yesterday and DH said where'd her pants go? I asked if he remembered that I was going to throw out the clothes that weren't rinsed and put in the hamper. He didn't even say anything. We don't buy her clothes, BM does, with cs. Also, she sends her in dirty, ripped and falling apart clothing (I don't think I could bring myself to throw away a good pair of jeans). I've already told SD to either take the clothes with her or rinse them out. I used to put them all in a bag and send them with her but BM threw a fit that I wouldn't wash them. I really don't see any other way to win this battle. Maybe when she has no clothes left she will finally get it.
I will gladly take advice on any other ways to deal with this bs.
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Not your job to rinse out
Not your job to rinse out SD's panties. I would direct DH as to exactley where the offending items are located, and have HIM do it. About them being 'presents', I'd believe that, my SS9 will throw 1/2 a roll of TP in the toilet every time he has a BM (oooo Bowel movement/Bio Mom, same initials, go figure) just to clog up the toilet so that I have to go in there and get poo splashed on me as I plunge it. I think you are right on target with your thinking.
The issue is that she is only
The issue is that she is only at our house a few days a month. There aren't really enough clothes to justify turning on the washer so I ask her to rinse them out so I can wash everyone's together. There's usually just 2-3 pairs of pants, panties and a couple of shirts. Sometimes she only stays one night and there's only one pair of pants.
BM told me that I should
BM told me that I should treat her as I treat my own 3 children. She also said that I am never to disipline her and SD should be allowed to do whatever she wants and talk to me however she wants. She's a nutcase, if you didn't already figure that out.
The children's bedrooms, the
The children's bedrooms, the bathroom and laundry room are all downstairs. DH uses a wheelchair and cannot get downstairs. I guess I am put in the middle but not because either of us likes it that way.
oh how i feel your pain....
oh how i feel your pain.... ss10 still pisses all over hisself every night... i don't even ask him to rinse his clothes out i can barely get him to flush the damn toilet..... i do make him put his closthes in the hamper in his bedroom, oh boy how it reeks in that room ~~ i gag the twice a week i go in there to collect the clothes to wash..... why don't i make him wash his own clothes?? b/c the sloppy bastard would manage to drag the nasty stuff thru the hall on the walls/floor and just gross me out more..
i bought a box of latex gloves and use them to wash skids clothes (always seperate from any other things that need to be washed).. i put a thread out st for help a while ago on the smell, and fromt he responses i have tried the following: if you add that animal piss cleaner to the laundry it helps a lot, and adding baking soda helped a little, too.
final step, hot water w/bleach rinse before putting anything else in the washer.
good luck......
I agree, take her to the
I agree, take her to the doctor, step back and let DH handle it if it continues, and let her do her own laundry. My daughters started around 9. They liked doing it.
WOW! My stepson is 7 and has
WOW! My stepson is 7 and has an accident every now and then in his pants during the day, as does my daughter who is 9. My daughter does it in her sleep and says she dreams she is on the toilet but she comes to me first thing in the morning and lets me know that her bed needs to be changed and what not. My stepson even goes to the extreme to poop in his pants and take them off and hide them somewhere in his room. I think he is too busy and does not want to stop what he is doing at the time to actually go use the bathroom. I have thrown away his poopy boxers because I be damned if I'm going to wash those things in my washing machine.
OP wrote "She has been to a
OP wrote "She has been to a few different doctors and there is nothing physically wrong with her" my neice had this problem(bed wetting) into her teens but only during the night never while wide awake and would hide her soiled linens. Sometimes when kids are younger they are so intent on playing that they wait to long to go but not at 12 that's way to old. She at 12 should be doing/learning to do her own laundry. I'll never forget my son coming to me around that age and requesting that I stop doing his own laundry because I was messing up his jeans lol. I quickly agreed lol.