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regan777's picture

Submitted by regan777 on Thu, 08/12/2010 - 10:35am

Ok I have never blogged on here before but I am pretty upset and need some advice. I have a sd10, I have been married to her father for three years and we have two children together. I have had my sd all summer, and lets just say I am ready for summer to be over. The BM is CRAZY!!! SD has bad days where she doesn't get along with friends or she doesn't get she wants and her mom tells her that she is depressed. So whenever SD has a bad day she thinks she needs to see a counselor. Her mom has taken her to see several counselors...and just recently took her to the Dr. and had her put on anti depressants. SHE IS 10 for heavens sakes! She is NOT depressed. I have her every weekend and all summer and I have never seen her act depressed.

So we are at breakfast the other morning and SD turns to me and says..."what mental disease do you have?" I asked her what she was talking about...and I guess her mom told her that I have some sort of mental or chemical imbalance. (SO NOT TRUE) I was furious! I wanted to call her mom right than and there and ask her what the hell she is telling her daughter about me. (I have never once said anything bad about her mom in front of her) My husband said he would take care of it, but that he didn't want me talking to her because he was afraid of what I would say. He didn't want to upset her:(!!! Well it has been almost a month and he still hasn't talked to her about it. So what do I just forget about it or confront her myself?

My husband is scared of his ex and doesn't want to upset her...he is afraid she will try to get full custody and we will have to pay back child support. She is a shitty mom so I don't think that would ever happen but he doesn't want to take the risk. She just gets to walk all over us and we can't do anything about it, and after three years I am getting pretty tired about it.

Help!

Comments

antidrama's picture

Submitted by antidrama on Thu, 08/12/2010 - 3:22pm

I SECOND THAT!! As much fun as it is to think about telling them off, it really only makes you end up looking like a bitch (even when it's really her that is the problem).
If she's anything like the BM I deal with, she will twist the story to make her a victim and go around telling anybody she can think of how horribly you acted toward her.

Not worth it....PLUS, it will give your SD a GOOD example to follow. She'll have enough bad examples to follow from her mom.

DaizyDuke's picture

Submitted by DaizyDuke on Thu, 08/12/2010 - 10:49am

I agree with Blended... just let it go. being your SD is 10, what her mother ACTUALLY said and what she told you she said could have been VERY different things! And let's just say she did make such a statement, I would bet BM did so knowing that eventually SD would say something to you or hubby and get a rise out of one or both of you. Don't give her the power.

Trust me I know it can be soooo frustating to feel like BM calls all the shots because hubby is scared of what she may or may not do in regards to child, but in this one particular instance, I would let it go.

the good news is, school starts soooon!

regan777's picture

Submitted by regan777 on Thu, 08/12/2010 - 11:22am

Well my husband raised her because her mom just up and left when SD was about 9 months. She came back in the picture when SD was about 5. My husband took her to court when SD was about a year and BM never showed up...husband was only awarded Temp. custody. I guess in Utah you have to prove that the mom is doing drugs or prostituting in order for the father to get custody...(don't know if that is really true, that is just what my husband says) BM decided she wanted to try to be a mom so she has had her during the week and we have her during the weekend for the past two years. Husband is worried that if we were ever taken to court we would have to pay back child support because we haven't paid child support the last two years....we just buy all her clothes and pay for whatever we can.

Jsmom's picture

Submitted by Jsmom on Thu, 08/12/2010 - 3:20pm

If there was never a CO than they can't go after him for back CS. Once the process is started with the court it can be from there. But, he sounds like he would have a good case for full custody and then she would have to pay him. Sounds like the pursuit may be worth it. If nothing else, it would be good to have a legal document for those teen years.

Let the comments about you go. Those will drive you nuts if you let them. I get a lot of my mom said this about you. Our BM barely knows me but, has no problem having an opinion about our house in front of the SK's.